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gone for a long tim e, without posting!


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I have been here daily, and I mean daily.but never post anymore, I guess

because I feel I had nothing to offer since I lost my husband, my soulmate

and have gone to another venture in my life, where I had to take care of me.

It has not worked well for me, and Iam not sure why. I still go to work everyday, well I have to, ha ha, as we all do, but, but the dating scene, does not work for me either, not sure why, shouldnt it start to feel better?

I dont want to be alone for the rest of my life, but its not getting any better, what is it I want? I do not know. I have had interested people

say I have a problem, I need to be over this, I agree,I swear, I do feel I have a problem, but, I cant get there!! I hope, That I dont feel this way the rest of my life, and I am alone the rest of my life??!!


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Oh dear Mary ~ I am here listening and hearing your every word. I see we both joined here just days apart. Your journey was not that long and the sturggle was hard. I have only some idea of how I would be feeling were I in your shoes. And I think it would be so very similar to you. Without my Fred, it would be hard to face each day. So ~ I have no words of wisdom to offer. No ~ just an ear to listen and heart to hurt right along with your own.

To those interested people who tell you you should be over this ~ I say to them ~ keep your big mouths shut. Nobody can tell you how or how long to grieve. I am confident you will get to where you need to be ~ just not ready yet. I don't know if any counseling woud help. No idea. You just gotta do this your own way in your own time and let those who truly care about you prop you up when you need it. That includes those of us here who are willing to help.

Try to not be so very hard on yourself. Try not to look so far ahead that you see yourslef alone forever. Let things just happen as they will. Remember this is a safe place to come and many folks here do 'get' it for sure.


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Hey Mary !! I see things are not going to good right now. Let me say I hope the days get kinder on you. didn't say easier because that's an individual thing. I also tried the dating thing for a while did not work out. Divorced people often don't understand Widowhood. We lost the love of our lives they Left the loves of their lives for a reason. We did not get to have that reason. We were separated immediately and suddenly and most often unexpectedly. They went through a lengthy process to get were we are basically. They can communicate and see their other half. We wish we could do that and some days be with our loved ones in heaven. Really I know we do or is it just me thinking that way. If we have a lot of pictures then people say we are not over that person yet. Who are they to tell us that?? They probably get custody of the kids on the weekends and see their other half during the exchange thing that goes on.

is there any groups you can get involved in in the community?? Tennis leagues or things like that?? You can get in socially with others and feel things and people out that way. Let me know if I can be of any help.... Hugs and Prayers Randy in NC

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