laban Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 I really don't think this should be in grieving because I'm really no longer grieving. I have many, many memories of our life together. Bill's 2 years journey from diagnosis to his death is included in those memories but only vaguely. It's really amazing that, like labor pains, I don't remember so much of that time. What I do remember is all the good times. Our first meeting, the instant attraction, the giddiness of love at first sight, all the "I love you" mentioned so often, all the adventures we were on in our short almost 20 years together, the traveling in our RV, fishing/lobstering in the Keys, scalloping in the Gulf, the airboat rides on the river, our Karaoke business and the fun we had doing that. I can't tell you how very blessed we were and I am to still have all of the memories. We were very close, best friends. I've said this before and I'll always know that I am who I am today because of having Bill in my life. I will always love you Bill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 I'm glad you stopped by, Laurie. I CANNOT believe it's 3 years!!!! For some reason that seems to be much too long. I am glad you have all those wonderful memories! Just wondering if you are in a new location?? Hope you are doing well and have lots of good in your life. You certainly added good in mine the time you were here. Thanks for that. Good luck and hope to see you around from time to time. Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joppette Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Laurie, I loved, loved, loved reading this. It's so amazing when we are at a point when our memories are of joy and happiness, and not of loss. It takes time, but we get there don't we? I'm so happy that you are still here. Even though Bill has been gone for a while, your experience and wisdom in caregiving is so needed here. Your experience as an observer of this disease is also needed! Thank you for staying with this site, and thank you for your wisdom. You are so appreciated. Judy In MI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laban Posted April 4, 2011 Author Share Posted April 4, 2011 Thank you Kasey and Judy. I still get on the site almost daily but think I am too much of a realist to post about past experiences. I don't want to be negative. Bill was a different kind of guy. Very matter of fact. From the time he was told "you have a cloudy area on your lung" April 6, to the biopsy, April 13, he new what to expect. He was on the computer day and night reading everything he could about lung cancer. Not a pretty site. He pretty much felt that if they told him he had SCLC that wasn't good. He researched and researched and just didn't see what he wanted to see and that of course, was hope. He never got on this site, maybe if he would have he would have seen that not everyone with SCLC dies. He expected to die within 2 years and that's what he did. Bill was always a planner and he planned his last two years exactly the way he wanted to, until he couldn't any more. As sad as it was to see it all take place in our daily lives, I'll always have the utmost respect for him for doing it all the way he wanted to. He didn't complain, he just took care of business and his goodbyes. Mostly he made sure that I was going to be strong and left with nothing but wonderful memories of US. My faith has gotten so much stronger since he's gone. I'm very involved in my church and family and this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. Oh yes and I'm still traveling when I can. I have a 2 week trip to Seattle and an Alaskan cruise in June and in August I'm driving back up to Wisconsin for about 6 weeks. I think they call that "sun bird" instead of the "snow birds" who flock to Florida in the winter. Life is good and I am blessed. Kasey, I'm still in Orlando. Judy, my wonderful cruise planner lives in Michigan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joppette Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Laurie, You vacation like we do! Only we don't live in the heat. But our best vacations were Alaska, British Columbia and other northern climates! Now I probably told you this, but I'm going to again. I hope your cruise ship in Alaska is the small one? Ours held about 50 people. It was so intimate and fun and up close to the critters! If not, it does not matter, it will be fabulous no matter what. MI Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy66 Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Laurie, You can't imagine how encouraging your post is to me dealing with my husband's death only 5 months ago. Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 What a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing how you feel. I'm sure you are giving so many the hope that the accute pain subsides and the love remains. Thank you and so happy to hear from you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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