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"THE Second Opinion" How to approach it????


SammieCakes87

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:|:| Hi

My mom has been diagnosed with Adenocarcinoma in the left lung and the prognosis the surgeon gave my mom was very grimm. He is a sweet guy and was very caring but I got the feeling that even though we found the cancer late and we are behind in treatment that there has to be something better for my mom.

I called Cancer Treatment Centers of America and spoke to a patient advocate to get more information about their process. so now I have all this great info and I want to approach my parents about at least calling to do a confrence call to see if she may be interested in going for the five day work up...

How do I deleiver this info, I am 25 but i know my parents still look at me as their baby so has anyone had a family memeber approch them about this?

What are the pros and cons?

Should I just not say anything and let the thoracic surgeon do what he feel is best because we are so behind the "eight" ball?

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Perhaps when you're visiting your parents you can approach the subject gently. Perhaps before you tell them you had already looked into the option, ask them if they themselves had considered a second opinion. I have heard wonderful things about the Cancer Treatment Center.

My husband also had Adenocarcinoma and we did not seek a second opinion. We put all of our trust into the local doctors near our home. In looking back on the situation I wish we had gotten more opinions.

But, no matter what your mom decides to do you'll need to respect her choices.

Please let us know how things go? ((hugs))

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We got a second opinion. Not sure if it made a medical difference but it certainly made a peace of mind difference.

Kasey who is on this site had 3 different very dire opionions. Went for a 4th and she is here 8 years later, living life.

I would tell your Mother that you love her so much you want to make sure she checks out all of her options since medical science is advancing and can be hard for drs to keep up with everything.

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I can't add a lot to the good advice already given, but as a patient who did not get a second opinion I can tell you that I regret it. As Ginny said -

[Not sure if it made a medical difference but it certainly made a peace of mind difference.

/quote]

But to this day I wonder, and for that reason alone I think it is worth doing.

Please let us know how it goes.

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  • 2 weeks later...

When I first starting advocating for my dad- as the youngest child- at 29- my parents viewed me as "the baby" too.

I learned how to "deliver" information without saying it was from me or my direct opinion. I'd bring over stories (like Kasey's on how she got so many opinions that eventually saved her life, or print outs from medical facilities and professionals that spoke about the importance of doing this or that) and let the idea blossom within their own minds.

Eventually after a few months they asked me directly what i thought and I was able to have real adult conversations about things like that. They looked at me in a more serious and trusting way. Of course by then our relationship had changed and i was no longer the little girl- but the person taking care of them.

I hope you are able to have a conversation about this with them and ultimately whatever they decide--it's their decision. Just love them.

(((hugs))) Keep us posted please!!

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