Not sure I belong

[ladyhobbit]

I have a carcinoid tumor in the middle lobe of my right lung.  I'm supposed to have surgery sometime in April which should cure me, but the surgeon may have to take out not just the MRL but also the LRL.  I have post obstructive pneumonia in the MRL (which is collapsed).  I've been coughing so much that I got a muscle strain on my left side (near the breast).  During a coughing fit, I felt a popping sensation.  My surgeon wanted me to go to the ED to have it checked out.  Found out I have pneumonia in my left lung as well so I'm on antibiotics.

My life sucks right now, but I'm so grateful that it's not worse.  I know most of you here have a much worse diagnosis and have to suffer through much longer and rigorous treatment.  But I'm hoping I can still find a little support here from those who have a similar lung issues.

I've been to the ED three times this past month.  The first was when my lobe collapsed.  That's when I found out about "the mass that could be cancer."  I have been on Percocet since then.  During my bronchoscopy/biopsy, I was given fentanyl and told to go back on my regular meds.  I had a bad reaction after taking a percocet the evening.  I couldn't move my arms and legs, open my eyes, or speak.  The ED thought I was faking.  I got transferred to a different ED, given narcan and recovered.  But the doctors are saying it's conversion disorder not a drug OD.  Then the third ED visit was the one I mentioned first when I found out the pneumonia spread.  I'm already sick of hospitals and IVs.

I have two little ones, 5 yo girl and 2 yo boy.  Its been rough for them too, though they wont admit it.  I hate that I can't play mush with them because of my pain.  Even 10mg of oxycodone doesn't take it all away.  I've even tried cannabis oil but that did nothing for the pain.  At this point I cannot move the slightest without pain.  I hope this cough goes away so I can rest.

I am grateful that I have plenty of friends that have stepped up to take care of my children when I need help or need to go to the hospital.  I thank God that it's not worse.  My husband is taking care of me but he is running himself ragged.  He is ill from the lack of sleep.  He has a cough too, and I'm worried caring for me is going to literally kill him.  We are only 31.  I feel like we are too young to be going through this right now.  I hate that my children have a sick parent.  Even though my cancer is easily treatable, I'm going to have to cope with less lung.  I don't know how long that will take.

I didn't originally intend for this to be a huge rant.  Thanks for reading.

[Tom Galli]

Ladyhobbit,

Of course you belong.  You have a cancerous tumor in your middle right lung lobe and that is lung cancer.  You are in the right place.

I'm not sure what you mean by the abbreviation ED but I'd make sure all your pulmonary conditions are resolved before you start treatment.  I also don't understand why you are taking Percocet or fentanyl.  Is the tumor causing you pain?  I'm also sick of IVs.

So surgery is contemplated and should address your tumor.  I hope all of your illness clears so you can move on to surgical resection, then to a normal life with your husband and children.

Stay the course.

Tom

[BridgetO]

Hi Lady Hobbit,

Of course you belong!   Welcome! I don't think people on this forum judge belonging on whose diagnosis is "worse'. We're all dealing with lung cancer so we're all in this together. I've found a lot of support and encouragement here and I hope you will, too. I say ditto to what Tom G says.   

Hang in there!

[ladyhobbit]

ED = emergency department.

And yes, the lung collapse was causing me pain so I was on percocet.  The fentanyl was for the bronchoscopy.  The original pain has gone away, but now I have pain due to a severely strained muscle from all the coughing that is caused by the pneumonia.

Thank you.