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How can I help my mom


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Good morning - I just posted to the new member site

My name is jenn. My mom has newly diagnosed iiia lung ca. No symptoms. Otherwise healthyexcept some hypertension. She starts cisplatin / gemzar today. 1st cycle / 1st treatment with hopes of shrinking for surgery.

About me: 35 y/o daughter ... currently 6 months pregnant, working full time, raising a toddler with my hubby an hour away from her 😥 

I read forum about joining her for her long treatments (no one wants prego at the infusion center), my OB really doesn't want me doing 1hr each way. I'm just so torn. How can I help her and take care of myself? She has my dad and friends but I want to help but feel so limited - like I'm choosing my baby over her. If she does have surgery (praying!) ... it will he 2hours away so I'm not sure I can go with being so close to delivery.

I dont want to stress her out but she us so stuck in her head right now sometines i think her (and my dad) forge rim pregnant. I understand they hhcaveca big problem on tgeit hands but u have a big worry too!


Any suggestions to help copeor get to assist her/ him 

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Hi, Jenn. Welcome to LCSC. This community is a great place to connect with and get support from others impacted by lung cancer. I will reach out to some members who are caregivers and ask them to respond in this thread. In the meantime, LUNGevity's Caregiver Resource Center has helpful tips and information for new caregivers: https://lungevity.org/for-patients-caregivers/caregiver-resource-center. I'm happy to share additional information about LUNGevity's support programs and resources as well. We are here for you.

With gratitude,

Digital Community Manager
LUNGevity Foundation

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  • 7 months later...

Sad to hear this, I hope your Mom will get well soon asap. Choosing between mom and baby is the hardest thing any girl can do in her life. But you have to be strong in this case, as if you lose your emotional balance you will lose your baby too. According to me you should call Elder care people, who are ready for taking care of elderly parents at home NJ, they will be there all time with your mom to care for her.

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Hi Jenn,

I'm sorry for your mom and all of you in the family... BUT, from what I've read, you must be a great daughter! You obviously care for her!  As a mother (and lung cancer survivor) I, personally, would want you to focus on your own family and pregnancy first.  There are many ways you can let your mom know you are thinking of her and caring for her... Cards, emails, phone calls will mean a lot to her I'm sure.  After the baby is born you can hopefully have more time to spend with her.  As a mom, I would want you to take care of you first... I wouldn't want to be abandoned by you, but I would completely understand!  Wishing the best for all of you in this journey...!

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