lilyjohn Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 The man of the house stormed into his home and walked up to his wife... Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you toknow that I AM the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepareme a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a scrumptious dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair? His wife said, "The funeral director?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carleen Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teresag Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 Good one! Where do you find all these, Lillian? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted February 23, 2004 Author Share Posted February 23, 2004 I have about ten different people who send them to me by email. I pick out the ones that I like best and post them here. Glad you like this one. Thought it would get a rise out of someone. Wonder where snowflake is this sounds right up her alley. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 LOL - Well, Lily....I received this in email form a year just after I got married and it's...well, my hubby laughed SO HARD, asked me if the woman in the story was related to me... There's another one that we enjoyed real well, too... Big man on the honeymoon hands his pants to the new little woman and tells her to put 'em on. She says they don't fit so he goes into a male chest-pounding session of how she needs to remember that SHE doesn't wear the pants in the family, HE does and it would do her well to remember that.... So, the little miss tosses her panties at him and tells him to put THEM on. Of course, they don't fit no matter how hard he tries and he gives up, saying he can't get into them....she says, "...and until your ATTITUDE changes, Mister, you WON'T be getting into them!" Thanks, Lily, for the giggle - danced this one before but still brings a smile! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DaveG Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 All men on the board: Do I detect some male bashing going on here. I think to show all these "women", using that word loosely, we should gather up all our blonde jokes and start[psting them every day, right here. I say we get equal rights, or else show them who really wears the pants around here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerbil runner Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 DaveG: My typical response to such comments is "Snip, snip" (think Lorena Bobbit). My husband sometimes accuses me of male-bashing. Then I remind him that my ex is still walking the face of the earth, so I must be pretty forgiving at heart. BTW - the legal summary of the Bobbit trials is: it's ok to rape your wife, but don't come crying to us if she cuts it off afterwards. I'm the only female creature in this house, unless you count the 2 guinea pigs. Husband, 3 sons, 2 male cats and one male dog. So I gotta stick up for the females! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DaveG Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 I live in Wisconsin and Laurencia was voted the biggest cut-up in the state, the year she was convicted. She also changed the definition for what a circumsion (sp) is Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 All men on the board: Do I detect some male bashing going on here. I think to show all these "women", using that word loosely, we should gather up all our blonde jokes and start[psting them every day, right here.I say we get equal rights, or else show them who really wears the pants around here. My dear Dave, I plan on letting Mr. Becky know that you referred to me as a "loose woman" and believe me, even your little dog can't save you now! As for the blonde jokes in retaliation, knock yourself out. Pinpointing one group of women as the target for your revenge is...well, small! LOL I know, I know...you men enjoy blonde jokes because they're so short and you stand a better chance of remembering the punchline... (chalk one up for a blonde...muahahaha) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DaveG Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 OOOOOh, did I touch the sore spot on your shark bite scar. Too bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 Unfortunately, there are no sore spots on my shark bite scar - it's all pretty numb... Just had one of those Sundays that folks with step-kids would understand (a "she's not my mother" day) and am trying really really hard to find my sense of humor (I think it may be cowering under the bed)... If only life was perfect....and "late-term abortion" covered teenagers... AND it's flippin' snowing again (has been all day)! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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