rinksgal Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Luvmydog2 sent me an email a couple of day agowanting to know if things were ok, she said she knew I hadn't posted in a while, and I just wanted to let everyone know what is up with Me and Darrell.. This is what I wrote to her... I hope she doesn't mind me just copying and pasting this.. "I really appreciate your concern. I haven't forgotten about all of you. Darrell has been feeling really good and he almost appears to be normal, even though we both know he's not. At times he says he knows he's dying. But in other breaths he likes to think the cancer is gone and hes fine even though we know its not gone. Well the only way I can pretend and feel like he's normal is to not be on this site alot... I do come here and I do read deaths (lord forbid) and I do browse some, but if I spend too much time on here I can't be what Darrell Needs me to be right now... He NEEDS to feel normal and full of life and he needs to feel that he can recover from this horrible disease and I come here alot,but I just haven't been posting. I don't feel like I deserve to post right now, because I can't respond to so many that need it, only a few post here and there. I get too depressed and I can't be what he needs me to be.. Does this make any sense at all??? I love this man and I need to be his strenthen even though I don't feel it inside of me and deep down he doesn't either...he gets a new ct scan March 8th and we go back to the oncologist March 11th.. This to me is a big ct scan. It will tell alot of where he is at in this horrible disease. I feel like I'm letting so many down by not posting and responding, I feel that when and IF he gets bad again I will be on here alot, but in some ways that seems selfish... I truely want to help everyone and give advice, but the computer takes so much time, time that I need with him. I hardly talk to anyone, I work and I do what needs done here on farm, and the rest of my time is spent with him, time I know from reading others posts that I will never be able to get back... I have to be with him while he feels good... I could use extra money, but I won't do overtime at work, because I figure I can do it later, I get by for now.. If this disease takes him then I will throw myself into my work... Not now.. This is our time and I've learned from this site that it can be over before we blind our eye!! So I hope everyone knows I think of them all the time and I do try to read alot of post, but I don't post for now.. Pray for a good ct scan...Thank Luvmydog2 for asking me where I've been... I will try to keep everyone posted.... I am so sorrry for the ones that have lost their loved ones, I can't even begin to imagine that I could survive this if I lost Darrell!!" Christy I hope everyone knows I think of them constantly......I wish there was more hours in a day!! Pray for his new ct scan March 8th to stable. We won't find out until March 11th.. p.s. Also I've had some problems myself, but everything is ok.. I had to test and they found 3 poplups, and removed them, but she doesn't think theres any worry for that awful word cancer. and some erosions going on in my esophagsus and stomach,she biopsied the poplups and stomache erosions,she says a bacteria could cause the erosions, which the surgeon that did both test put me on medicine for this. Also my mother called me tonight at 8pm she lives in Indiana, One of my brothers house caught fire and its a total loss... Thank god him and his wife and 3 kids are fine. They did lose 10-3week old golden retriever pups. The only things that were saved, was a big screen tv and one of his daughters was able to get her clothes out..Her bedroom was down stairs, guess the fire started in the walls upstairs... It breaks my heart for him, but I"m just glad they weren't hurt badly.. My brothers wife got a few burns and hair and brows burnt trying to save the puppies that was upstairs, but thats where the fire started in the walls... I will try to post more when I have time.. My prayers are with each and everyone one of you Daily!! Love Christy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Christy I am so sorry for all of the problems in your life right now. Please understand that you are not being selfish. You are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing right now. Take care of yourself and your man. Everyone here has so much support. We do miss you but would not expect you to trade time with him for this board. Give him all of the love that you have and help keep his spirits up. That is your job right now. Your main job. Please do feel free to come here when you need support. We will be here and ready to give it any time you ask. Hope he continues to feel well and the scan gives him more reason to be optomistic. I will say a prayer that all goes well. I know how terrible the fire must have been but your loved ones are safe and alive. Thank God for that. Things can be replaced tho I know the puppies was a terrible loss emotionally. God Bless you and all your family. I'll look for your post in the Good News forum on March 11th. Lillian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
betplace Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Christy, On the days I have energy. I post, on the days I don't have energy, I read and leave it at that. We each give according to our energy levels at the time. So don't feel bad about reading and not posting. it is a give and take, sometimes you give, sometimes you take, and both are good! Hang with your honey right now, thats the place to be! You have my prayers of course for the 8th and for as long as you need them! And here's a Hug as well (((((Christy))))))) just because! Blessings Betty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Christy, it is good to know things are okay right now, and that you two are enjoying that. Darrell IS your first concern, and that is as it should be. We on here understand that. We wish you both the best. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 It's good to hear from your Christy. I've thought of you and Darryl often, and wondered how the wedding went, and if you were going to jump in on the Dave G.'s little dog debate. Sounds to me like you and Darryl are doing well and that's the best news of all. Hope it goes on like this for a very long time. You're doing exactly what you should be doing....living life well with the one you love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donaf Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 dear christy: Although it was really nice to see your post you must not worry if you are not able to do it with frequency. He is blessed to have such a caring and devoted woman by his side. Please know we are all thinking of you and praying for a good scan. Take care of yourself. Donaf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 Christy, Live your life with no regrets... spend your time the way you need to spend it. We are here, and remembering you always in our prayers. XOXOXO MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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