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Start Chemo Tuesday-almost too scared to start-need a push/h


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I have an anxiety disorder which I have had for many years. I am also phobic about recieveing medications. Just hate them. I am also very allergic and have had a number of allergic reactions in the past which give me some reason to be scared.

I am so scared I wish I could run and hide. I am scared that I will not show up even though I know I need to to live. I am using hypnosis and seeing a therapist again due to all of this now, but I just don't know how I will get my chicken self to sit in the chair, put out my arm and let the poisining begin.

You guys have been so great at answering questions and support etc....

Was anyone else scared to death to do chemo? Need help!



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Make sure you share all your anxiety with the chemo nurse. Your first time they will watch you closely for a reaction. Everyone is scared to death the first time, it will be ok. I have never met kinder people then the nurses working those infusion centers.

As for how you'll get your chicken butt in that chair, I see you have 5 kids...do it for them. You'll do fine.


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Guest bean_si (Not Active)

Yes, I was scared in more ways than once. I have dx'd as having clinical depression and moderately severe Social Anxiety Disorder. I have trouble with reactions to meds and presently don't take any.

It was difficult as my onc has a 'clinic' where there is no privacy - just a semicircle of chairs.

I had mucho trouble the first day BUT I took my personal CD and some relaxing music. At one point, I even brought along a sleep mask. It may have seemed silly to some but it's what I needed. I settled back in my own space and I managed quite well.

You will do fine. Imagine that someone you love is holding your hand. Imagine that an angel is sitting behind you with her hand on her shoulder, encouraging you. Imagine whatever you need to make you feel comfort. I will be there with you (in my mind.)

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Guest bean_si (Not Active)

One of the greatest CDs that is well known for helping with relaxation is THE PLEIADES by Gerald Jay Markoe. It's not your usual new-age relaxation stuff.

I have the names of a number of others if you'd like me to post them.


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Jen, does your onc know about your phobia and anxiety disorder? Call Monday morning if not and ask for an rx if you need it. Tell the nurse (not the receptionist) when you check in. If necessary, the nurses can call the onc for an as-needed anxiety medication order. Or they may have standing orders for it so they have it ready to use at their discretion. Ask.

And by all means, use all the non-drug techniques suggested by others. You are doing the right things with therapy and hypnosis; you'll get through this.

- Teresa

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Make sure the nurses are aware of your anxieties and fears.

They can give you meds to address that.

Bring things that make you comfortable, maybe even your own blanket.

(we all liked the blankets, and a colorful one from home helps.)

Bite the bullet, sweetie, and go for it.... I think you will find it isn't ALL

that you've imagined once you start...

Call me if you need me...



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I went for my first chemo infusion on June 13, 2002 and I was scared to death. My daughter and friend had driven here from Tucson (400+ miles) so she could go with me. I started crying, I could hardly understand what the wonderful chemo nurse was telling me, my heart was beating out of my chest, I thought my life, as I knew it, was over...and it was about an eight hour ordeal. AND I survived...does it get easier, yes.

I am driving to San Diego tomorrow to see my oncologist and I will be praying that you are okay with your treatment. I know the chemo nurses will be wonderful to you and you might even like being able to talk with other survivors. I pray this treatment is effective for you and is also easy on you. Don't hesitate to tell them EVERYTHING so that they can do what needs to be done for you.


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