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After days of anxiety and so many tests the doctor told Mom that there is a 95% chance she has lung cancer and of course, needs to do more tests. I try to be supportive and full of hope whenever I am around her but when I'm alone I feel like screaming, forever. After my private hysteria I feel guilty for feeling this way. I try to concentrate on classes but I can't hear a word my professors are saying. How can I be of any help to her if I'm falling to pieces inside?

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HI Harlee, There is no doubt the first few days, weeks months are very anxious times. As far as how to keep it together I'm not sure as I'm on the other side, every member of my family cried in front of me, but yetr were there still there to support me. For me I pray to God for the heavey emotional stuff, I'm no bible thumper, but praying has brought through many dark days in my life, from being a physically abused child, drug addiction, alcoholism and now lung cancer, it works for me.

I'll add you and your mother to my prayers. Good luck DAvid

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Guest bean_si (Not Active)

Don't feel guilty. Expect to have those feelings. Know that you are not alone. The members of this group are here, glad to listen to you, even when you feel you're world is falling apart and need to scream.

I'm praying that if your mom has cancer, she will get the best possible treatment and go on being with you for a long time. Take care of yourself, be nice to yourself. You're important too - both to yourself and to your mom.


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This is the very emotional, difficult time...everything feels out of control. I promise that you will do better as you get the necessary information and there is a plan of treatment in place. You will be a big help just by being there with your Mom and showing her that you have hope. We will all be here for you.



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When my wife was diagnosed, we each went through times where we needed support, and so while there were times when she was crying and I was holding her, there were also plenty of times when I was crying and she was holding me.

My point is that your mother will continue to be a source of emotional support for you as you all battle this disease. (Of course, I'm hoping that it's the 5% that it is not cancer) For Becky, it was important to show autonomy. We didn't live as if everything was the same. But it was essential that we maintained the partnership we had developed over the years. She remained to the very end at least as supportive of me as I of her.

It is okay to be weak and scared and vulnerable in front of your mother.


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Hello Harlee,

So sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time with your Mom. As for crying and screaming and such, I am sure we have all " been there" and "done that"! In fact, I think that if you can go somewhere where no one can hear you, (hard to do in stucco walled houses,) it really does get rid of the tension and lets you begin to think rationaly again.

In the beginning of this roller coaster ride things seems so surrealistic and overwhelming, but after a while, when the treatment begins, you will be able to put your energy into helping your Mom get well.

I will say a prayer for you and your Mom and family tonight .


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