Andrea Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 I wonder if I felt in my body that it was a bad day for the boards. Last night at the Sabbath Service in Temple honoring my brother in law for his wedding today I lost it. I had not been to a temple service in awhile and at the end they do a prayer for the sick and read off a LONG list of names. My mom's name was on there, i was not prepared for it, and tears just came rolling down myeyes. I was SOOOO embarassed. I did not make a scene, it was silent c rying, but the bride switched seats with my brother in law and put her arm around me. And then my mother in law looked at me and almost lost it. In the middle of temple, i reached for my pill box and popped a xanax. I could tell a few peple were like what is that. It was just really emotional. Ok, i gotta stay away for the day, off for hair and makeup now. Even though i want to cry all day for everyone, my mom will NOT be happy with makeup running before pictures. She would say and will say when i speak to her soon "suck itup, cry AFTER the weding" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 We all lose it. I finally got my budy to church after the lung cancer, and keep in mind that I was still angry with God, and turns out it was a healing service. I started crying during the service and couldn't stop. I moved myself to the back of the church, and still couldn't stop. I was bordering on hysteria. Called my best friend, went and sat with her, and she talked me down. Loved the popping the pills---my ativan is always with me. gail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyCW Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 Andrea, Yes, we all lose it now and then! And church/temple just seems like the place to do it. Awhile back, my husband and I were at church and a woman who was obviously going through chemo and not looking well at all was sitting just across the aisle, a few people over. At the time, David was all done with treatment, even, but every time I looked at her I had to fight back tears, just thinking about him having gone through chemo. And somehow when music is added to the equation I can't keep the tears away at all. Hymns seem to magnify emotions for me. And the funny thing is... I kept thinking, could that be ____?, thinking of women here on the boards! But I didn't know any women who lived close enough who were in treatment... Anyway, give yourself a break, have a nice day, and I hope you feel better soon. I'm trying to remind myself of the lessons I learn from Dean and others here -- Live every day to the fullest. Any one of us -- patients and caregivers alike -- can get hit by Becky/Snowflake's proverbial beer truck at any time, with no warning. (Somehow that's not a depressing thing for me to hear, it's just a "wake up and snap out of it" thing.) Wishing you smiles today, BeckyCW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted July 31, 2004 Share Posted July 31, 2004 Andrea, I know what you mean..completely unable to control your emotions. been like that this week and lost it this morning..Just wanted to let you know that youre not alone..Right now on the radio is the song "helpless"remake by Kadie Lang boy does that fit this post... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remembering Dave Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 Andrea, happens to me all the time, especially in church. hang in there, girlfriend. Karen C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJAS Posted August 2, 2004 Share Posted August 2, 2004 Church does me in all the time - especially the hymns and when they pray for Steve. (Thank goodness I quit using makeup long ago!) To make things worse, I have it happen from time to time at work. In my job, I never know what topics might come up and I have come very close to having to walk out right in the middle of something. I just say "sorry, slight meltdown" and everyone understands. Hate to fit the weepy woman image, but darn it, as Popeye says, "I am what I am!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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