Mr Ry Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 Autoblonde Q: What do a blonde and a car have in common? A: They can both drive you crazy. Blonde Girlfriend Q: What's the advantage of having a blonde as a girlfriend? A: You get to park in handicapped zones. Blonde in a Tree Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: You wave at her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 In honor of David, I am going to let this ride and let you keep your title-- for awhile, anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 John, Radio DJ's here did a bit yesterday about a new program like On-Star for cars, just a little less expensive. David would have LOVED it! It was called BlondeStar and it went kinda like this: Blonde: I was coming out of the mall with my hands full of bags and didn't notice I dropped my keys. I got into the car and shut the door and realized I had locked my keys outside...so I called BlondeStar. Male voice: BlondeStar, how can I help you? Blonde: I've locked my keys outside of my car! Male voice: I can help you with that, I have a few questions: Can you see the keys? Blonde: Yes, they are right outside my door. Male voice: Are your emergency flashers on? Blonde: YES!.....No.....Yes......No....Yes... Male voice: I've unlocked the doors, you should be able to get your keys now. Blonde: Oh, thank you, THANK YOU! What would I have done without you? Sure do miss him.... Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debi Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 Great idea John..I was looking for blonde jokes last night with the same thought in mind. Every one I found made me cringe, but then I remembered David's blonde jokes always DID make me cringe ... So here ya go, for David.... Coffee drinker A blonde says to a brunette, "Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt." The brunette says, "Well, maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup." The Pig A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked, "Where did you get that?" The pig replied, "I won her in a raffle The Blonde selling her car A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car." "Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheryl k Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 I am David's sister and have been reading many of the things my brother wrote. The jokes you posted are great and they remind me so much of my brother. He was always sending jokes to me. David loved to laugh. Cheryl K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dede Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 Thanks Becky. I saw a friend today who said she had heard blonde star on the radio. I loved the way you told the joke, it was perfect. Dede Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 One more for the road.... A blind man enters a "Ladies" bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - given that you are blind - that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I'm a 6 feet tall, 220 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. 5. The lady to your right is a blonde and a professional wrestler. Now think about it seriously, mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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