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How do you stop the worry????


Guest Tim'sKathy

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Guest Tim'sKathy

Tim's back has been bothering him for a couple of days now..just on one side...sort of like sciatica....and of course my first thought was Bone mets...but then I have to calm myself down and remember that he has had this before ....way before he was dXd with LC and when he was they did a bone scan that came up clean.

It is just so hard not to worry...he coughs, I worry...and I know I am driving him nuts. He chose not to hear a prognosis...just to be told what we needed to do an do it...but I have a little more knowledge from looking on line and it scares me to death.

I know that there is a lot they can do..and that his chemo treatments after the 4th one had shown a lot of shrinkage (and his lung re-expanded)...What s**** is that he only has one tumor in the lower right lung but because they found cancer cells in the fluid that he had on his lung, he was automatically staged a IIIB ...and surgery is out...the fluid is now gone, so I am hoping that someday soon they may change their minds...

OK...well enough venting..I just took another ativan... :D and hopefully that will do the trick ! LOL !

Praying for everyone !!!

Kathy

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Kathy, it is hard not to worry, but it is healthy to separate big events from little events. Lucie and I agreed to call them either "mountains" aod "molehills", and to only worry about the mountains. It works most of the time! Yes, you can drive the patient crazy if you hover too much -- I have to watch that with Lucie. It is so easy to overreact. I guess we will just have to keep practicing, won't we? Blessings. Don

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You are already doing my suggestion--take an ativan!!! :wink:

But seriously, we've all been through it. I find what really helps is a very good friend that you can say anything to. I just call her and say "I'm crashing". She knows what it means. Email any one of us, if you don't want to post something.

Have you read any Bernie Siegel books? They saved my butt big time. He says, in a nutshell, "Everyone dies. This book is about living. You are either living or your dead". Think about that a moment.

And when I get really hyper, I think of all those lost souls on September 11. All those people that said goodbye in the morning and that was it. Whatever my outcome, at least I have time.

And as far as the internet and prognosis, many of us would be dead if we listened to those statistics.

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Kathy,

I've decided that you can't stop worrying. No matter what you do its there. Don's right, we should try to worry about the big stuff and file the little stuff. I haven't been able to do that yet. I'm trying. I also drive my husband nuts when I hover. I'm getting better about that but I still haven't gotten control of it yet. When he rolls his eyes at me or snaps at me because I've asked him one to many "how are you feeling" questions I remind myself to back off. Lately when I ask him how he feels he will make a point of "feeling" his arms, face, etc and say "I feel pretty good I think, wanna check?" We can laugh then and it lightens the tension. This stuff is there all the time, you can't ever completely forget about it. I don't have any answers, but if you ever need to vent you can email or PM me and many others.

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Kathy, It's easy not to worry, just take lots of drugs!!! (just kidding) I drive Gene crazy with the questions "Are you okay" everytime he coughs, I have gotten better but I still am in hover mode. We try to make light of my hover mode and that helps a little. As everyone else does I am always looking for something new or someone else that has the same dx. That's what makes us such good care givers I guess, but that puts us in contact with the disease on a different level and that can make us worry even more. I'm not making too much sense but it's been a long day and we go for blood work tomorrow so of course I am in worry mode tonight. Thinking of you. Carol

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