TeeTaa Posted September 25, 2004 Share Posted September 25, 2004 The end message here is serious, but getting there is really funny: For years and years they told me, Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them. And give them monthly tests. So I heeded all their warnings, And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully, And I always wore my bra. After 30 years of astute care, My gyno, Dr Pruitt, Said I should get a Mammogram "OK," I said, "let's do it." "Stand up here real close" she said, (She got my breast in line), "And tell me when it hurts," she said, "Ah yes! Right there, that's fine." She stepped upon a pedal, I could not believe my eyes! A plastic plate came slamming down, My hooter's in a vise! My skin was stretched and mangled, From underneath my chin. My poor breast was being squashed, To Swedish Pancake thin. Excruciating pain I felt, Within it's viselike grip. A prisoner in this vicious thing, My poor defenseless tit! "Take a deep breath" she said to me, Who does she think she's kidding?!? My chest is mashed in her machine, And woozy I am getting "There, that's good," I heard her say, (The room was slowly swaying.) "Now, let's have a go at the other one." Have mercy, I was praying. It squeezed me from both up and down, It squeezed me from both sides. I'll bet SHE'S never had this done, To HER tender little hide. Next time that they make me do this, I will request a blindfold. I have no wish to see again, My knockers getting steam rolled. If I had no problem when I came in, I surely have one now. If there had been a cyst in there, It would have gone "ker-pow!" This machine was created by a man, Of this, I have no doubt. I'd like to stick his balls in there, And see how THEY come out! All you ladies - please be sure to get those exams. As all of us on this board know, the sooner something is caught, the better off you'll be. Do we get extra points for being funny AND having a message?!?! TeeTaa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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