Caren

I would like to start by saying that I am sorry to hear of Sandra, the lovely MichelleP's husband and Rich's passing. May you all rest easy now after your long and suffering journeys. Much love and hugs to the loved ones that you have left behind and may they find strength and peace when they need it the most. Please accept my apologies for being absent for so long. I am really struggling emotionally right now and found that coming here, as much as I want to help others, only added to that struggle. I will be back. I feel that I just need time to lick my wounds a little more before my return. I would like you all to know that I don't forget any of you who are fighting this fight or caring for you loved ones while they fight. Take care all of you! xoxo

I am so sorry, Lori.

Sue Thank you for taking the time to reply. I have a friend who lives in Michigan and works at Bronners Christmas Store. I have had her design a special Christmas Tree decoration in memory of my dad. I'm just waiting for her to remember to ship it over for me. Hopefully that will be done before Christmas.

The Autumn/fall is definitely nearing and I see brown on leaves - I love to see this. I love to start planning for Christmas (yes people I start making my lists and checking them twice in September) and making sure that my children have the most memorable Christmas' that I can give them. I love when the air turns crisp and you have to pull your coat up around your neck while feeling the crunch of frost under you feet. I love it. ^^^^That is what I would have posted at this time two years ago^^^^ Last year we had not long received my dad's diagnosis when September arrived and I think that looking back the following months passed in a blur. Although I still kept things together and made Christmas great for my children and of course for my dad because it was his last. This year I am thinking Christmas but the 'feeling' just isn't there yet. The mind is saying to get going and start planning but the heart is saying 'STOP YOUR DAD IS GONE AND YOU WANT TO PLAN CHRISTMAS' . I know that I need to do this for my children and also for myself but I'm struggling right now.

Thinking of you as you struggle through the bad days (((HUGS)))

I hope you're feeling better now, Barb (((HUGS)))

I'm so glad that you managed to get a few hours of completely uninterrupted sleep, that is great!!! Lets hope that with the meds to help hubby sleep you will get at least 5 hours, possibly more, every night!!

Chat for me is at 5:30pm and I really kicked myself for forgetting about last weeks because I had thought about it just that morning and it was something that I was really looking forward too. Although I will only be able to stop in each week for about 20 minutes as I need to leave the house at 5:50pm to take my son for his football training.

Debra (((HUGS))) I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please accept my condolences at this time.

As much as I loved my dad and I wanted the absolute best for him there were always boundaries with his care. I realised early on in with him that if I gave him an inch he would run with a mile. This would be with anything from the simplest of tasks to the hardest and because of this I just let him know that I loved him and would do pretty much anything for him but it had to be within reason. Michelle you can not sit awake every night and watch your husband and then carry on with your normal daily tasks, plus the additional care that you now give. It just is not possible and at some point (very soon from the sounds of it) you will run out of steam. You need to let him know that you love him dearly but be firm with him, sweetie. Yes you might hurt his feelings a little but you know if you didn't do that now and then during this journey then it just wouldn't be 'normal' living. You are only human, as is your husband and you, like everyone else in this world need a certain amount of down time. Take that down time, Michelle!!! Big (((HUGS))) to you sweetie.

My dad smoked for many years but quit about 18 years prior to diagnosis. He also had Adenocarcinoma, like Judy and was told that it isn't a smoking related type of LC.

Thinking of you, Nick.

(((HUGS)))

Sarah (((HUGS)))

Michelle, My dad's breathing became more laboured while on Tarceva, although they did say that it wasn't a side-effect it seemed like a big coincidence to me.