DebsSky

Boy do I really empathize with you. That is me in a nutshell, feeling the way you do. It has been almost eight months for me too and I cannot "adjust". I miss my Mom so much and your words hit the nail on the head of what I could not say. I have not been active on the board for such a long time simply because how can I comfort or support other people when I cannot even console myself. I hate this so-called "new normal". I am sorry, but this is not "normal" for me and never will be as I am sure you are feeling as well. Please know that my heart goes out to you and I will pray for you. Try and take good care, Deborah

Hi all: I hope everyone is doing well, as well can be. I know this time of year is bad but.... Anyway, I decided I just couldn't deal with the fact that my Mom is not going to be with me this Christmas, so I booked a nice spot at a resort in Playa del Carmen just outside of Cancun for myself and two boys to go for Christmas. It was supposed to be the trip that my Mom and I took together when she was up to it, but it never happened. I am going to take some photos of her a long letter that I wrote her and sit on the beach one evening and talk to her just to let her know I wish she was with me and how much I love and miss her. We are leaving Friday which is actually her 63rd birthday. I'll let you know how things went when I get back. My love and best wishes for everyone and may you all have a peaceful, comforting Christmas, Love Deb

Amen Jana....yours words are soooo my words. I feel emotionally empty and just one hug or kiss or word from my Mom would so fill me up. I miss her at every corner I turn and Christmas this year just won't be the same, but then again.....my life never will be the same again. I am mad, sad the whole gambit, and yes, I too feel ripped off, ripped off that the sweetest person and best friend I ever had is gone and so angry that she had to suffer through such a horrible disease ! I hear ya Jana, you are definitely not alone. All the best to you (as hard as it is), Love Deb

Hey Everyone, I have been lurking and not posting as I find I have not much advice to give or things to say to people to qwell thier pain. Everything just sucks, watching so many people hurt and lose the people that are irreplaceable in thier lives and I find myself speechless. Void of any profound words that may help any one of you at this time. I feel the loss of my mother so deeply and I feel so desprate to help, but at the same time I just want to go sit in my closet and sob forever for my Mom. I feel some days like a zombie and other days like a raving lunatic ready to go smash out the windshield of my SUV. I know my ramblings seem crazy, but please know that I am thinking of all of you and my heart aches for all the pain and loss you all are feeling. As I said, it sucks, just sucks and there is no other way to put it. Love, Deb

Boy oh boy do I know what you mean. I am currently renovating my house and it was only because of my Mom that I was doing it. I can't tell you how many times I have picked up the phone and almost dialed her cell phone number to get some advice on things or to see what color something should be. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks that she is not there and there are no cellphones in heaven......... I don't know what to do most of the time but sit there and cry. I feel so alone and just plain empty. Prayers and a big hug for you, PM me if you like, I really don't mind. Deb

Oh my gosh Jen: This is the kinda crap I swallowed with my Mom's onc. and her internist (because they were supposed to be the "best" in Canada for lung cancer), and look where I am now. Don't swallow it and do what your gut is obviously telling you to do! I sure wish I had. As for your Dad's onc......GRRRRRR!!!! Prayers for you and your family, Deb

Oh my gosh Grace: That is just horrible. I will pray for them, I had that happen to me twice and it is soooo hard. Love and prayers, Deb

(((Mskim))) I'll cry with you. Deb

I am so sorry Lori. You were and are a great daughter to her. Prayers for you. Deb

I am so sorry. Prayers going out for you and the family. Deb

Oh my gosh Don, I am so, so sorry! My prayers are with you and your family. Deb

Edith St. Amant nee Bara After a long and courageous battle with cancer, it is with great sadness that the family of Edith St. Amant (nee Bara) announce her passing at the age of 62 at the Lloydminster Hospital on August 20, 2006. Edith is survived by her mother and stepfather, John and Betty Marshall of Merritt, B.C, her brothers Gordon and Bob Bara both of Merritt, B.C., Gary Bara (Sandy) of Malakwa, B.C. and Dennis Bara of Vancouver Island, B.C., her sisters Isabelle and Dorothy Bara (Henry) of Merritt, B.C, Rhonda Wills (Rick) of Merritt, B.C., her two sister-in-laws Verna Landry (Ray) of Prince Albert, SK., Jacqueline Boucher of Toronto, ON, her three children, Donald St. Amant (Tammy), Deborah St. Amant (Ivan) both of Marwayne, AB, Dan St. Amant (Joyce) of Blackfoot, AB., her seven grandchildren, Jenavee, Katelynn, Willson, Reshaun, Laryssa, Jordan and Joshua, as well as, numerous nieces, nephews, cousins, many other relatives and beloved friends. She is predeceased by her husband Maurice St.Amant, her father August Bara, her father-in-law Aurther St.Amant, her two brothers Donald and Terry Bara, her two brother-in-laws Peter and Aurther St. Amant Jr., her sister Julianne Bara, her niece Jacqueline Bara, her nephew Ricky Dean Wills and her grandson Brett St. Amant. How can you sum up in a few short paragraphs the gift my Mother’s life was to people? If I had one word to describe her it would be beauty. Beauty from the inside out, she truly was and is a beautiful soul. Her family and friends were everything to her and it showed in her life by the many things she did, the words of encouragement she provided and the wise advice she gave. She had such a heart of gold that even if you did not know her and you were in need, she would give so freely. Right down to picking up hitchhikers, which we begged her not to do because of the obvious dangers, and she would even end up coming home with their phone numbers and call them to make sure they were okay. Throughout her life she worked very hard from cooking in camps and restaurants, to caring for the elderly which she went to college for, to building her own business, an oilfield environmental company named ECO Enterprises Inc., which is still in operation today. Someone once said that she is the only person they know that had a $900.00 a month donut bill because she had to make sure the truck drivers had at least a snack. She devoted herself to all that she did. She actively volunteered in the Lloydminster Aboriginal Head Start program and other programs, but Head Start was her passion. She had such enthusiasm and zeal for the program and all of the people involved or attending that you could see it. My Mother and Father met when she was 16. They eventually married in 1971 in Merritt, B.C. and made their home on Vancouver Island and throughout B.C and had all three of us in the process. After my Dad’s death in 1982 in Fort St John B.C., all of us eventually gravitated out to the prairies, and she, always a mother first, followed. As a child I can remember her very protective nature, as little as she was, she would not let anybody or anything hurt any one of us if she could help it. She would even fight our childhood battles for us even if it meant chasing someone down with a broom in hand. Her caring for her family was always dominant in her life even in her final days. As sick as she was, she had to make sure everybody else was okay. People would come to see her in her hospital room and she would end up comforting them instead of them comforting her. Even with all the pain she was enduring, she always had a smile or hug for you. She was an exceptional woman. I could go on and on about what a great lady my Mother was and how lucky I was to have her as my mother, but no words would capture the magnitude of it. All I can say is that God truly blessed me when He chose who my Mother was to be and I am a better person for it. I will always miss her and love her dearly and she will always be in my heart. God bless you Mom and I won’t say goodbye, just see you later. Deborah St. Amant The family would like to acknowledge Dr. AnnaMarie Snyman of the Lloydminster Clinic and Dr. Charles Butts of the Cross Cancer Institute for their great compassion and caring, Myrtle Racette and Marleen Gormley for being such great friends and support during Edith’s and our time of need, as well as, all of our other friends and family that expressed their great sympathy and caring during this difficult time. The service was held at the McCaw Funeral Chapel with Pastor Mercer Moye officiating (whom we would like to thank for driving such a great distance to be here), Kent Armstrong delivered the eulogy, honorary ushers were Robert Stuebing and Ken Allen, special music was performed by Corrina Ludwig – Beulah Land, Jenavee St. Amant – Ashoken Farewell, Willson St. Amant – In the Sweet by and by, Eleta Moye and Steve Cook – There’s a River and Eleta Moye – Softly and Tenderly. In lieu of flowers, all donations with regards to Edith’s memory were or can be directed to the Lloydminster Aboriginal Head Start Program or the charity of the donor’s choice. As appearing in the Lloydminster Meridian Booster, Lloydminster, AB/SK

Gammaknife can do the trick too. Do some research on the net, my Mom had brain mets and she could not have anymore rad because of PCI, but they were going to give her Gammaknife. Good luck with it Rochelle and keep us posted. Prayers for you, Deb

Aurora: Thanks, that comforts and encourages! Deb

Hey Rochelle: My Mom was the same way after PCI because they had hit a spot at the base of her brain that caused this. It was healing, but alas, she ended up with brain mets anyway. The mets caused the same kind of symptoms, the Bells Palsy effect and slurring. I don't mean to scare you, but I would get her an MRI ASAP. If they find anything, I would go for Gamma knife. My Mom was booked for that, but she took a turn for the worse and could not go, but it was not the brain mets that ended her life. If your Mom is feeling well except for that, I would say that would be good. Just get the tests and get on it fast. Good luck with it, my prayers for you and yours, Deb