Don Wood

Shordy, we do have two Beagles which are much comfort, but the dogs in the picture are sled dog pups we saw in Alaska. Best to you and family. Don

No one knows better than a cancer patient or a close loved one that we are only given a day at a time. No one knows how much time they are given, not even those healthy without cancer. I prefer therefore to help my wife life one day at a time and to make the most of each. This does not mean that I stick to her like glue. I have to have a life apart also, so I carve a piece of that out for myself to keep me sane and healthy. Each day is a precious gift and we should open the gift, celebrate and make the most of it. Blessings to you all. Don

Fay, my prayers are with you and your mom. Don

Behappy, I love that handle! Two things my wife and I work on together. (She has NSCLC with bone mets.) (1) We stay focused on the present and near future and what we can do. We don't dwell on the future "out there" because none of us knows what that brings. (2) We try to separate the "mountains" (really serious events) from the "molehills" (not so serious events). This helps us keep perspective. Best to you and blessings. Don

Howard, welcome to the message board! You have many friends here. My wife has NSCLC diag. 10.02. She has 5 bone mets, 3 of which received radiation. Her chemo is similar to your wife's -- carboplatin and taxotere. She started chemo in Nov. but was hospitalized in Dec. for infections. So we had to start over in Feb. and have had one treatment. Keep hopeful and positive. I think the gang here can help you do that. Don

Karma, losing one's hair when one is used to having a lot is a trauma. My wife started losing her hair after the first chemo, so she had it shaved. Even that was tough, but it was better than agonizing over every strand over a period of time. She wears turbans and a wig outside but doesn't wear anything inside the house. I am glad she is comfortable with that, and I have gotten used to it. Actually, her blue eyes seem bigger without the hair! Anyway, it is hard for me to relate because I lost most of my hair with age and I now wear a very short haircut on the rest. I hope your dad can grieve the loss and move on. After all, his will come back, and mine won't!!! Don

Connie, being scared is normal. We've all been there. My wife has NSCLC and I am the primary caregiver. As the caregiver, I see my role to give her as much hope and optimism as she needs. To do that, I have to reach out to others to get my support where I can express my fears, anger, frustration, etc. freely. I am lucky to have a good friend I can do this with, but I also have a caregiver from my church community whose job is to listen to me, keep in touch with me, and see how I am doing. That helps me a great deal. We all need that kind of help. I hope you can find someone who can fulfill that role for you. AND, you have a lot of friends here who understand, so use us! Blessings. Don

Is she drinking enough fluids? She could be dehydrated. This has happened to my wife a couple of times. I would expect the doctor to catch that though. Don

We've heard that patience is a virtue. Well, I have always been sadly lacking in it I'm a go-go-go type (not Type A, but just a doer). God has been trying to teach me patience over the years. This morning my lovely bride was not feeling well and I moved in to get her comfortable and eating/drinking. Later Lucie said to me, "You are so patient with me and I love you for it!" Wow! Maybe an old dog can learn new things. I feel so blessed. Don

Mary, a note of caution for your sister in taking radiation and chemo together or close on -- be careful of dehydration. That means drinking a lot of liquids every day. Both treatments tend to dehydrate but together it is hard to keep up. My wife learned this the hard way after being in the hospital for dehydration a few times. Best of luck. Don

My prayers are with you two. Don

Yes, there is defnintely hope. The prognosis is only a guess on past averages, and each person is different. My wife has NSCLC and we have agreed with each other that we will focus on the present and the near future only. She is undergoing chemotherapy after radiation treatment the end of last year. I don't know what relationship you have with your stepsons, but they need to be talked with directly on the seriousness of their father's condition. I had to take my older son aside, explain that she could be gone next year, that we had hope and would work toward her being here then and beyond. BUT, it is no longer "business as usual". He needed to call her more often, visit with her, bring his kids around, etc. And I told my wife she needed to ask her children for what she needed and not be shy. So far, it has worked well. No, your friends who have not been touched by cancer really don't know what you are going through. But you do need to reach out to someone you can trust and talk openly with through all this. You need to do that for yourself. My wife and I are trained volunteer lay chaplains in a local hospital, and in the training, they spent one lecture on "taking care of the caregiver" and how important it is to take care of ourselves so we can better take care of our loved one. Your role takes patience, perseverence, a lot of love, knowledge of what is going on and assertiveness. It is an awesome role, but it can be done, day by day. My hopes, wishes and prayers are with you. Don

My wife automatically gets the Neulasta shot a day after each chemo. We don't wait for the count. It is a preventive. Don

You got it!

That is a real sticky wicket! I feel the pull two ways and I'm not directly involved. Would it help to get a third opinion? If you think it would only add to the confusion, then maybe not. I wilsh you well and ask God to guide you. Blessings. Don

Renne, is your mother getting any white blood cell boosters like Neulasta or Procrit to prevent this? Don

My wife, Lucie, also underwent radiation to bone sites at the same time she started chemo. One bone met was on the spine in the lung area. It was very easy for her to become dehydrated, which happened several times. It was also easy for her to get infected, which also happened several times. I am so thankful that the radiation is over, and she is only having chemo now. Don

Cathy, thanks for the good wishes. Karen, thanks for letting us know that others have the same reaction. We were sure it was the chemo. I love this group. So much support here. Don

Renee, we were also told when my wife's temp goes to 100.5 or above to seek medical attention. I think 100.1 is close enough! Is your mom taking Neulasta or Procrit or something to boost her white blood cell count. My wife is getting a Neulasta shot the next day after each chemo transfusion now and she seems to be doing better. Best ot you. Don

My wife had radiation on three bone mets, one of which was on her upper spine. From that treatment, she got a very irritated throat. Although the visual scope showed no damage, she lost her voice for a time (now fully recovered) and also had a hard time swallowing (now much better). Anything in the general area gets radiation, too. Don

Chris, what great news! Celebrate! Celebrate! Dance to the music! Tiny, happy birthday to you! Dance to the music!

Karma, your message came in just as I was responding to Connie. Thanks for letting me know that someone else had the same type of reaction. My wife is on a similar mix of carboplatin and taxotere. The oncologist said it could be the taxotere. Let's not do anything rash!! LOL

Thanks, Connie. I think in her case and yours, it is just a reaction to the chemo. Don

Caroline, unfortunately I am in Houston and don't know about cancer centers on the West Coast. A good source might be U. S. News & World Report who rate the hospitals. I think there was a listing a few months back. Sorry I can't be of more help on that. Perhaps someone on this message board from the West Coast can make suggestions. Best to you, Don

Hi, Caroline. Sorry your dad has this uncertainty period. I know that is tough on you. You have my support here. Yes, I would love to have those 5 years for my wife, as we are just embarking on this journey since October. Has your dad been to one of the major cancer centers in the country to see what other alternatives there might be? Take care of yourself and my prayers are with you all. Don