bunny
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Posts posted by bunny
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good luck, and keep slugging. I am thinking of you and praying for you. thanks for being here, and being such an example.
xoxo
bunny
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you - and amy and frank and terri and david and connie and everyone - are 100% right. here's what I've decided. I am not quite to the place where I believe she'll be all right, but I believe that YOU GUYS believe, so I'm borrowing it. I am getting much more comfortable and positive. thanks again, you guys. you are truly god's gift to me these days.
xoxo
amie
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I loved snowflake's message. I repeated it ten times, outloud on your behalf.
prayers, too.
xoxo
bunny
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praying here. hope it goes as well as it can!
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I loved your post, and congratulations on your two year mark! I hope you'll consider me a new friend. I relate to the mixed experience of this board - but in only a matter of days I have become so dependent on it for support, information and distraction (in a good way) from my mom's illness that I wouldn't give it up for anything (even if I'mnot quite as focussed on work as I should be, yikes). kisses, and many many more good years.
xoxo
bunny
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thanks for everyone's support, comments, etc. I am finally, finally starting to calm down a little. I have been solid in my mom's presence, but flipping out the rest of the time. she's thinking of signing on herself. I'm a little self-conscious for her to see how scared I've been, but I'll get over it. anyway, she has decided not to move her surgery from 6/24 to 6/21 b/c her sister died on 6/21 in 1993. it's also their father's birthday, but I think it just felt too weird. more time for pre-surgery prayers, and now we'll get to keep our beach plans. also, thanks to connie, david p., frank and all others for their one-lung-wonder stories, they helped ALOT and I have passed the info on to mom.
prayers and thoughts are with you guys all day long.
xoxo
bunny
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thanks, connie. I am working to adjust my thinking - it's not that I don't believe she won't get better, I do! it's just that, some days, my fear has a louder voice. SO last night, with a friend, I let it rip until it (my fear) developed laryngitis.
so now, it's a little hoarse and the truth, the hope, the faith is getting louder. love to you, xoxo
bunny
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thank you amy, connie, frank and pammie. I really appreciate the replies, my personality is such that I am comforted by knowing what's coming, even if it's scary. my brother is happier no knowing, which is his way of dealing. I JUST got an email from mom that they have offered her an EARLIER surgery date, of 6/21 instead of 6/24. of course, we left it up to her 100% but part of me loves the idea of shortening this waiting period. on the other hand, I had a few things I wanted to do for her (take her to the beach, mani/pedi, just some happy, peaceful, pain free time together) which we may not get to do if we go for the earlier date. at any rate, I know she's in god's hands. I am calmer now, was in a real tizzy this morning. it seems like I wake up scared and slowly ease into it. by afternoon I am OK again, but then I wake up at 4:30 the next morning scared out of my wits. I don't think mom is half as scared as I am. anyway, thanks again.
xoxo bunny
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I'm short on information, but positive thoughts (and prayers) I can do.
xoxo
bunny
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can anyone share with me their experience, or loved one's experience, after having a lung removed? mom is 58 y.o., possibly developing asthma, not 'in shape' but otherwise healthy. I want to know what to expect in terms of how hard it will be for her with one lung. just one of the 800 things I am scared about right now. having a very hard time being positive today.
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praying, here.
xoxo
bunny
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I am new to this forum and I get so much out of hearing from people like you - you give me the ability to believe that my mom is OK, even with cancer, that her spirit is real and healthy. I loved your description of the bird, dean. we don't get too many purple finches here in times' square, where I work and yet, reading your post, I heard him. it made me think about where my mom lives, across the river in jersey. some years ago, some parrots (bright colors, the whole nine) on their way to a pet store escaped in her town. cold and lost, I'm sure, they nevertheless figured it out, acclimated, and now there is a whole colony of tropical parrots making their home along the Hudson River like they've always been there. makes me think of how you, my mom and others are able to adapt to and thrive in impossible, implausible conditions, too. so thanks.
xoxo
bunny
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my mom's doc at MSK told us that the brain is the first place they look for metastic [sic] NCSLC (hey look at me, with the lingo). good luck with it, we're thinking of you.
xoxo
bunny
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I find the 'be strong for mom' thing so draining, I have given myself persmission to do little things like get my nails done every weekend instead of every other, take off work to go to a yankees game, etc. it sounds so trivial compared to what my mom is facing but if I don't recharge I am of no use to her. whatever it takes, take care of yourself AND your mom. I am just learning about treatment options, etc., myself and I agree - knowledge is power and I feel calmer when I feel like I know what the heck everyone is talking about!
love and prayers,
xoxo
bunny
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I want to name everyone by name, talk to each of you heart to heart. I'm so busy and stressed getting ready for mom's surgery - I am working like a dog so I won't have to think twice about taking as much time as she needs me to, from 6/24 on. We are playing hooky on Monday to go to the beach. You are all in my thoughts all day long, I'm so surprised by that but it's the truth. love and prayers to all of you.
xoxo
bunny
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this place is incredibly supportive and informative. you're in my thoughts (and prayers) as is your son.
xoxo
bunny
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we really sound like we're having such similar experiences. I have the same feelings of anger and injustice about my mom - she has thyroid cancer in 1993, RIGHT after her sister died of kidney cancer. she had her first round of LC in 2000 and it felt like such a miracle, how they found it, that it was successfully treated with surgery. I feel like my miracle has been tarnished. I'm mad that she's had so much more than her share of crap (not just in cancerland) and now she has to do this AGAIN. she's never had chemo before, and from everything I've read it may well happen this time. we were always grateful, "at least she didn't have to go through chemo". it's hard not to get pessimistic. the best I can do is get back into the moment, and in this moment the following is true:
1. mom is healthy, feeling good, working and hanging out with her friends;
2. I am healthy, feeling scared, but there for her 100%, as is my little brother;
3. god has his arms around all of us, in ways I can not imagine, and has always shown me results far, far better than what I'd ever hoped for;
4. I have a ba-jillion new friends and fellow travelers on the scary road through cancerland here, and I am not alone in any way shape or form.
Thanks again, you have no idea how much you've helped me (everyone here has).
xoxo
bunny
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I only hope I can become a support to you, as well. missy, we sound like kindred spirits. I will look for you in the other areas of the site. thank you, thank you, thank you.
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we're not at the NED or NERD stage yet
but I kept reading all these bio's that ended with it and I didn't know if it was good news or bad. now that I know what it is, I feel so encouraged by all those stories! mom's surgery is 6/24. I am scared but so much calmer, partly because of this forum. thanks for your help! xoxo bunny -
what's "NED"?
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I can't thank you all enough for taking so much time to make such thoughtful, supportive replies. I still feel a bit lost on this website but much less alone in the world. this is such an intense time, as I know you all know. my mom feels great right now, so for her it's a countdown to feeling crappy which is depressing. she's working alot to get things squared away before her surgery and whatever comes after it (as am I) and I am taking her to the beach on Sat. who knows whether she'll feel up it the rest of the summer. she and I have a tendancy to bicker, so I am working really hard to change that for now. god is so good, and I have a loving partner this time around (hadn't met him yet in 2000, when mom was first sick) which makes a world of difference. I'll be back, and please please let me know how I can support you guys. where do I post, after this 'newcomer' post?
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she's 58. in 2000, she was diagnosed with stage 2 non-small cell adenocarcinoma. they found it via a miracle - a pre-op chest xray for another procedure - and removed a 3rd of her lung. they called it a cure. two years ago, a spot appeared on her lung which was unreachable for biopsy (a lymph node near the middle) so they watched it every 3 months since then. it never grew on the cat scan and barely changed on the pet. anyway, I'm making this so long. bottom line - since her last check 6 months ago, she has developed a tumor which a biopsy has shown to be the same cancer, back again. she is scheduled for surgery in two weeks and chemo is a maybe. she's in moderately good health otherwise, and she really seems ok right now - positive, strong, but understandably scared. I am a damn mess and I don't understand why. I feel like if I really had the faith I claim to (no specific religion, but lots of god) I wouldn't be this devastated. I need to be able to work and I can't. I spend the whole day on the internet (ha, here I am) reading, thinking and crying about cancer. may be more than you bargained for.
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is this where I participate? I'm so sorry if it's not. my mom has lung cancer. I'm an otherwise bright woman, but I can't figure out this website right now. can't work, can't do anything. if I'm in the wrong place, I'm so sorry - and can anyone suggest another place? I found a nice message board at cancercare.org but I feel so bad burdening them, their loved ones are generally in much worse shape than my mom.
so now, it's a little hoarse and the truth, the hope, the faith is getting louder. love to you, 
but I kept reading all these bio's that ended with it and I didn't know if it was good news or bad. now that I know what it is, I feel so encouraged by all those stories! mom's surgery is 6/24. I am scared but so much calmer, partly because of this forum. thanks for your help! xoxo bunny
Good news all around
in HOPE
Posted
sheesh, you sound like me - everything happening at once. I'm so glad you got good news. thank you so much for bringing it here!
xoxo
bunny