Izzy
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Hi all, just checking how your all doing, sincerely hope your all ok, things still very raw here , my daughter in law and 4 four grandchildren have fallen out with me and Micky (Jus’s sister) and her two children, it’s heartbreaking 💔We’ve been denied any of his ashes so have nothing to show he ever existed for 52 years except photos and memories , still that’s not why I’ve posted, I check up on you all regularly as Jus would have wanted me too as this place was very special to him as you all were too, I hope life’s treating you all as well as it can, I’m hoping that we will both feel better one day but I’m not holding out much hope, he was such a special person to us as we were and are a very close unit, the hole we now have in our hearts is immeasurable but the love carries on and will never die, take care of yourselves and keep those loved ones close, love and hugs to you all and keep up that wonderful strength you all have, catch up again soon Xx love Izzy xx
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Oh @Izzy I am so very sorry to hear about the family rift, it must be making a terrible situation much worse. It is though probably not an uncommon situation, people have many ways of expressing grief and tensions can get really high. Of course I totally understand that having access to remains is important for closure but try to remind yourself that when people die, the bodies are not them anymore rather the love and memories are what remains. No one can ever deny you that! You carried that child next to your heart and gave him life, and stood by him until the end and that's the strongest unbreakable bond that exists no matter what his family decides.
I am gutted for you but also want you to try and seek support from a counsellor as I don't think your family's rift is unique and counselling may bring you close to closure. Maybe after a year or so, these raw emotions subside and the deeper emotions take hold. Maybe then there is a chance for reconciliation. I can't imagine how hard this is but please try to focus on the memories and the love with Justin's friends and family whom you still have good relations with (that includes us!). I will always remember Justin's kindness and his ability to transcend his worsening illness to constantly check on us, remember our scan dates and offer support. You had a great son full of empathy and care, thanks for raising him that way!
BTW, I am doing well, wrestling with some side effects of my targeted therapy and had a bunch of nasty family health scares, it is like a rash of bad luck but I remain so thankful and take it one day at a time.
Hugs and please stay in touch!
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Thanks LilyMir, I know people say it’s grief but I could never behave like that to my family even tho the grief is unbearable, the love I have for my 4 grandsons and 2 great grandsons will never change but they were my link to Jus and it’s like another bereavement, I don’t think they will want to mend this but we’ve tried , so lovely to hear from you and so so pleased that your doing well, I will stay in touch cause Jus was so fond of you and I feel your my family too, take care and hugs and love back xxx
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