Darci

Thanks everyone for your concern. He went in for the IV fluids on Monday! I talked to him on Monday night and he was like a new man - said he felt good but that he didn't think he felt bad before - but I could totally hear the change in his demeanor. He was lighthearted, he even started giggling when he slipped up and told me that when he went to the dr his "oil pressure was a little low". Before, he just sounded like someone who felt crummy, and you could hear it in his voice. Now they are talking about how he can go in and get the fluids if he needs them again. I am so happy that we pushed him to do it! LATEST UPDATE - my SIL spoke with my MIL this morning and now she is saying that he is not drinking and there is nothing she can do about it. I don't know if he feels that since he can go in and get the IV now that it means he doesn't have to try to push the drinking anymore? I am so worried about my MIL, because I think he is being hard on her. She told my SIL that she just had to get out of the house, and she was going to lunch with the girls. Which is terrific, I am sure she needs a break, but I am worried about how he is treating her. He has made it through the surgery, chemo and radiation - guess now we just wait and hope and pray that he stays clear!

Lori, I am so glad to hear that she made it through the surgery ok. I am hoping and praying that she recovers quickly!

Thanks to all of you for encouraging us to really push that my FIL go in for the IV. As of yesterday, they were planning on calling the doctor first thing this morning. I can't tell you how relieved I feel. It is so hard that we all live away from them and cannot stop by and see how he is doing, so we really have to gather a lot of information from what they say...and don't say sometimes. I hope that it really gives him the boost he needs to feel a little better!

Yesterday was my FIL's last day of radiation - YEAH! When I called to congratulate him, I quickly became worried about something else. He has not been doing well with eating and drinking, and I know that his doctor has really been on him about drinking. Yesterday, she told him that she wanted him to come in for an IV of fluids today - but they didn't seem to know whether they were going or not. He has been having dizzy episodes, is very weak and tired (very much could also be just from going through the treatments) my MIL was telling me that the skin on his back is very dry, he says he looks like a 95 year old man (this is new - he has lost some weight, but really only about 20 pounds from diagnosis till now) and I think it may be that his skin is lacking hydration. What are the chances that his body will catch up if he drinks "normally"? My only experience with his was with a 2 year old with stomach flu and it seemed like once he got a little dehydrated it spiraled down very fast - to the point that his body started rejecting fluids all of a sudden. I tried to convince him to go, my husband told him to go, and my BIL was going to talk to him about it too - but he can be a very stubborn man! I just don't want to see him end up in the hospital, and I know how much the help with the fluids can make you feel so much better, and I want that for him too.

So sorry to hear this news. Lots of prayers coming your way!

Karen, please know that so many people are thinking of you and Ken during this time. Reach out if you need help and support.

Thanks for your insight and support...I guess it is so hard for us to even think of being in his shoes, and therefore hard to understand how it feels. I just always have this need to fight harder, try harder, to get what I want - I need to not project that onto him!

I don't know how you do it Lori - you are so good for your mom, and she needs someone like you to fight for her well-being. Do what you can to help her, but I know how debilitating stress can be - be sure to take care of yourself too!

I am not sure how to help my in-laws. My FIL had surgery in Sept, then chemo, now has started a 25 day regimen of radiation. He wasn't sure about doing the radiation - his onc wasnt really recommending it, but his other doctors thought it would be a good idea. He went into it thinking that he would start, and if the sore throat/swallowing problems that go along with radiation got too bad he could stop if he wanted. He does have a hiatal hernia, and so may have more serious affects from this than people without. I spoke to them last night, and I guess that he is starting to have the sore throat/difficulty swallowing. He said he doesn't think he wants to continue treatment, and then basically said - I am going to die from something anyway. He is 81, but he really does have a very good quality of life. He bowls, golfs, cares for his own house - physically is more like someone close to 70 years old! Of course, the doctors cannot tell us definitively that doing the full course of radiation will help his chances of non-recurrence. And they cannot tell us what the consequences are of stopping the radiation mid-course. I guess it just scares me that he wants to just stop treatment and be done. I can certainly understand it...but am just afraid of what will happen if it comes back. I tried to give them lots of suggestions that I have gotten here regarding food choices that have worked for others - but most of the answers I got were "he doesn't like that" or "he always eats this or that for breakfast". I don't know how else to help - other than just being encouraging and supportive - it is his life and ultimately his decision, and I know that he just wants to feel better. Maybe I am sometimes just too controlling! It is hard just to sit back and not feel like I am helping.

My FIL is 81 years old, but he is generally extremely healthy, exclusive of the lung cancer diagnosis. We were nervous about him doing chemo, due to his age. In fact, one of the kids believed very strongly that he shouldn't do chemo, because of everything you hear. He actually tolerated the chemo very well...a little nausea, fatigue, lost his hair - but, he was able to still bowl once a week, snowblow not only his own driveway and sidewalks, but his neighbors too. Unfortunately, they cannot guarantee in advance whether chemo will help - but I think that it is certainly worth a shot to help your chances. There are lots of things the drs can do to help alleviate the side affects!

Good luck - enjoy your time together without the treatments!

Oh...good luck to you. the pain sounds awful, and I am hoping that they get it under control soon. Sending lots of prayers your way!

Don and Lucie, so glad to hear that there has been no progression of the lc, but I know that you must feel disappointed that there was no improvement. Sounds like your drs have a plan in place for Lucie, and I hope that this works well for her and that she tolerates it well!

Lori, I am hoping that you can get some answers regarding your mom's care. I don't know how you do it - you are so strong, and such a terrific daughter!

Great news! Good luck with the tendonitis and bursitis - I have bursitis in my right hip, they think! Not sure how I got it though!

Carol, I am so sorry for your loss. It must have been hard to be with your dad during those last days and see him suffer - but I know that it was a great comfort to him. My deepest sympathies. Darci

I am so sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds like a wonderful man, and you will always have your memories of him with you forever. You know that he is at peace now, and how wonderful that he was able to regain his mental abilities enough to let you know what you already knew in your hearts - how much he loved you. Darci

I am so sorry that you had to get disappointing news. I don't have any answers for you, just wanted to wish you luck and send you prayers.

Holly, I am so sorry. I can't even find the words to comfort you. Just know that we care.

Oh dear, how unfair that life had to take you down such a path that you have to try to make such a tough decision. Where to start - my first thought is how wonderful a baby would be for you and for Keith. Nothing is more awesome or inspiring than a new life. Nothing is more precious than holding a baby. But, having gone through two failed IVF procedures myself...I can tell you it is just an awful, exciting, emotional rollercoaster. I do worry about how hard it would be on both of you to be going through that, while at the same time fighting for Keith's life. And...if it should not work...the emotional impact of that. When I got the phone calls that the procedures did not work, it was like someone sucked all the life right out of me. I think that that would be very hard for both of you. But, on the other hand, if there are no fertility issues to deal with, you may be an excellent candidate for IVF and it may go very smooth. I probably haven't helped..maybe I have confused you even more!! Follow your heart...it will not lead you astray! BTW - there is a happy ending to our story. We went on to adopt two wonderful little boys from Guatemala. They are the love of my life!!

Hi everyone, just looking for some opinions as we are trying to help my in-laws make the decision as to whether my FIL should do radiation or not! I really value your thoughts and input. When he originally went to see the surgeon about his cancer, the surgeon talked about surgery, then chemo mixed with radiation. After surgery, when he went to see the onc, the onc was talking more just chemo, but a stronger dose of chemo than he could do if they were doing it in conjunction with radiation. Then the onc started encouraging them to talk to radiology to get their thoughts as FIL came to the end of his scheduled chemo - although the onc was not really pushing for radiation. I think that when they did the surgery, they found out that the cancer was a little further along than what they thought - they have it staged at a IIIA. They found it in more lymph nodes than they expected, and it also had sent out "feelers" and they found little bits of it here and there in the lung. I have been worried about this, and how my FIL has approached it emotionally - he is treating it almost like an 8 week course in biology or something. As in..."I just can't wait to get this over and get back to my old life." Therefore, it is very upsetting to him now that he is through with chemo and surgery to contemplate another procedure. Plus, he has a very bad hiatal hernia and they say that the radiation will cause him problems with that, and possibly pretty bad swallowing problems. This scares him, and he is kind of feeling like he doesn't want to do it. The drs are telling him that since it was in the lymph node system, and because it had sent out these feelers, that he really should do radiation. I talked with my MIL for a long time last night, and said that right now, he is physically doing great, the tumor has been removed, the chemo hopefully will knock back anything that was left - if radiation will boost his chances of being cancer-free, and he can physically do it, if it were me, I would do it. He is 81 years old, but he has the physical capabilities of a 65 year old. Even after going through surgery/chemo. I think that he has a lot of life yet to fight for. I feel really bad about this, but I did talk to her about how much harder it would be to fight six months from now if we all of a sudden found out that it was back, or that he had mets to other organs. She kind of cried, but I felt that they really needed to think about it. He is in a great place right now, and I think that physically he can handle the treatment. But...he has to want to do it. So, I am looking for a perspective from others who have been there!! Thanks for all your help and support - you guys have been lifesavers for our family!

Darn, that is not a good way to start the new year at all. I am hoping that by now you have spoken with your doctor and that he was able to shed some light onto what this all means. Will be sending lots and lots of prayers your way!

Lori, I don't have any medical help for you...just sending lots of support and prayers!!

Thanks everyone for your quick answers and support! I did just talk with them, and I guess that it hasn't happened since last night, and he had just walked up the stairs...so hopefully he just got a little winded and out of breath. Glad to know they are keeping an eye on it though!

MyFIL had his last chemo treatment on the 22nd. He was feeling pretty rough on Xmas Day, but I think he held up pretty well. I talked to them last night, and my MIL said that he wasn't feeling well - he was feeling "kind of wheezy". I asked what she meant by that and she said "you know, like he is going to pass out". They were going to see the pulmonary doctor today, so said they would talk to him, and I also said that they should let the onc know too. My SIL emailed me and said that the Dr. put him on a heart monitor for 24 hours. He has never had any heart problems at all. They want him to write down when he takes his meds, and then push the button if he starts feeling dizzy. Any thoughts? Could this be a chemo thing? I had posted a while ago that he sometimes would get a dizzy spell in church, but this is the first time I have heard of anything outside of church. I am going to wait an hour or two and then call and check up on him..see how he is doing. they didn't offer my SIL any opinion from the dr as to what is happening, just talked about how wonderful he is. I would like to know what they think it is...because if he is having heart problems, but they think it is just feeling yucky from the chemo, they may not call if something serious is happening! I don't know if they have given this dr. permission to talk to any of the kids or not.