hollyanne
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Posts posted by hollyanne
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Oh Martha, I completely understand. Just take each day as it comes. I miss my mom so terribly -- yet I remind myself that I am crying because I miss her - I am not crying for her as I truly believe she is completely free of pain and in a glorious place. I mourn for my dad and for all of my mom's great friends and for the fact that my baby will never know her ---- but at the same time I am so thankful that I had such an amazing relationship with such an amazing women. There are so many "girls" out there who are not blessed the way we have been in having such a stromg and powerful relationship.
Hang in there...
Holly
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Katie stole my thoughts! Darn.
There are too many daughters on this site. Yet, along with everyone else we are here for you -- to give you support from our experience and our hearts.
My heart aches every day...but I have made it through every day -- from diagnosis through treatment through my mom's death to horrible grief. Yet, I am here. God gives us all the strength to handle each day, each hour -- you will have this strength. Just ask for it.
Your mom is here. Lover her, share with her... you will never regret one moment. You can't predict the future, and you shouldn't try to.
Love,
Holly
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I sent you an email as well....yes, I think it is time for a second opinion. What Don said about avastin is the same understanding that I have -- that it is an issue with brain mets...which I know Thomas does not have.
May God give you stength, peace and guidance in your next steps.
You two are in my prayers daily.
holly
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Melissa -
Welcome. I am sorry you have to be here...but this is the place for support. I went through the journey with my mom starting in August. I don't know how I would have made it through without the support of people on this board.
We are here for you with information and with lots of support and prayers.
Holly
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Jacqui,
I completely understand your panic right now. So many of us have gone through the exact same thing whether we are caregivers or survivors. First thing first -- BREATHE. Take each day as it comes. You have the strength for today...and you will have strength when tomorrow comes. You can't predict the future and it is too overwhleming to try and guess...so DON'T.
The thought of my mom suffering was my number one concern. She did have a lot of pain, yet we were able to get it under control. The best thing you can do for your mom is be there for her and help be a medical advocate. Ask questions, go to her appointments, and remember that sometimes she is simply going to feel like junk....just be there.
I am so sorry that you have to go through this...it just absolutely stinks....we are all here for you.
Holly
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Hi -
I am so sorry that you and your family have to go through this. Although this disease can move so quickly, remember that infections can also be treated quickly...so just because your dad is having some bad days, it doesn't mean that there will not be great days ahead.
Please keep us posted. There are too many daughters on this message board who understand what it is like to see a parent deal with LC. We are all here to help you.
Holly
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HOORAY. GREAT NEWS!!
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Hi -
We weaned my mom off the Decadron/Dex very, very slowly -- she started to get pain back when we hit the 3mg level -- our oncologist basically said that they so helped her quality of life (she had no real side effects other than the round face) that it was worth it to keep her on them. Long term use can lead to severe weakness in muscles, bone thinning and eyesight problems.
If the specific cancer is causing a lot of inflammation (whether in the brain, or in my mom's case in the spinal area) these steroids are amazing. There are definite trade-offs....yet I think that pain control still needs to be the number one priority for most people.
Praying that the brain scan shows good results.
Holly
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Melinda -
I am so glad you can recognize these moments of grace -- they are so meaningful. I am so very happy for all of you. It is so nice to "get a break."
Holly
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Beautifully said Ann.
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I can't add much to what Becky and Linda wrote so beautifully....your dad is dealing with ALOT and all of this has to be about his wishes. As much as we want our loved ones to fight, treatment is so much to deal with and then facing mortality is on top of that. I do think that hospice will help you out -- even though they will suggest you face some things you may not want to yet...
It is so very difficult. I'll be keeping you in prayers today.
Holly
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Mark -
I am so sorry for your pain. Leslie helped me through so much with her optimism and realism. I do believe, as everyone says, that time will make it better -- she will never go away in your mind, but the pain will lessen and become less intense over time. I think you just have to have faith in that. Remember, you miss her -- you are not crying for her -- she is in a glorious place -- you just miss her.
Prayers for strength for you,
Holly
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Crap. This is so lame, Auntie Cindi. What next? Youjust need the "all clear" so you can just move on!!
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I completely agree with Ginny. While losing someone is so difficult regardless of the relationship, it is different when you lose a spouse versus a parent or sibling. I needed and continue to need all the support from thise who have lost loved ones before me, regardless of what forum they are in. I just hope that all who lose a spouse continue to post in other forums as well...
I needed their support when my mom was sick and I still need it.
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Hey Jodi -
Sounds like a bone met. They can be very, very small. Is she having pain? You may want to ask about Zometa. It is given with chemo to help slow bone met destruction...since she only has one spot, it may not be used -- yet, you may want to ask.
Glad to hear the results were so positive!
holly
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Shellie -
YOU RULE. You had every right to get "irritated." It is B.S. Praying that the real results are good.
holly
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Ginnie -
I am so sorry. It has to be so much to deal with right now, and waiting for scan results. You will have lots of prayers coming your way.
Holly
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Sher -
You are so not alone! What you are feeling is grief and it absolutely stinks, just stinks. I have not had a single dream that I can remember since my mom really started struggling in October 2005. I too felt stronger through the funeral, etc. I think the adrenaline of getting it all done keeps you moving and then it hits and it hits so hard.
As sad as I am that your husband went so quickly, I am so very happy that he did not suffer and that you did not see him suffer. This disease sneaks up and I am sure you did everything you could -- it just hits so many people out of the blue --- my mom had a backache, went to the doctor and was diagnosed with stageIV adnecarcinoma as well ---- we too wonder if we could have caught it earlier, even though I know I could not have.
Take every hour as it comes. Get some medication to help you sleep. Know that your husband is completely free from all pain and that life will go on for you.
It sucks, it really, really does.
With love,
Holly
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Gracie -
Can't add much more to what everone else has said...we are all here for you. I doubt you will go through anything that one of us hasn't experienced. There are some very wise and brave people here ready to help you through this journey.
Praying for you,
Holly
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Hi Teri -
Was thinking about you the other day. Those Duragesic/Fentanyl patches can make you really "whacked out" --- at least they come in varied strengths. We cut my mom's down and used the suckers for break through pain or for when she needed some extra medication -- it seemed to help keep her from getting too loopy.
Getting the pain under control is so important. Prayers that you have many, many pain free years ahead!
Holly
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Deb -
I am so very sorry. Prayers for all of you. It is just so very hard to get news like this.
Love,
Holly
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Praying for some peace for all of you in the coming days. Many of us know just how painful and trying it is.Love to you all, Holly
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Oh Nancy - I am so sorry, but just being there does so much. He is quiet because he is weak and may also just be doing alot of thinking (at least my mom did) She was very quiet for 2-3 days and then seemed very at peace when she spoke with us all...it waslike she had to go away for a while and completely come to terms with everything that was happening...and she did.
Love to you,
Holly
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Pet loss...
in GRIEF
Jen -
I am so very sorry. I understand how you could love an animal so much and completely appreciate how devastating losing a friend like this is. I wish I could make it better....I am sorry that Ollie is gone. When the time is right, I have a feeling you will have another lovely feline friend on your bed.
Holly
Luann and Mom
in INTRODUCE YOURSELF!
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Hi -
Welcome. I am sorry that you have to be here...but I am so glad you found us. Stage IV means the cancer can't be cured, yet that doesn't mean that you can't live with it. Accept the diagnosis, ignore the statistics and keep a flexible game plan (which it sounds like you are doing!)
We are all here for you!
holly