KerryToo

My apologies re: the Social Security coverage. I have children so the survival benefits are immmediate, not retirement age. My best to you, Carleen.

Have you found out about your survival benefits from Social Security yet? From what I understand, you receive an amount from SS to assist you due to your hubby's death I've seen the statements that state, "if you were to die.... your survivors would receive $xxxx amount per month." I hope that this will fill in the extra $1000 you need to stay in your beautiful home that you shared with Keith. Kerry

When I first came to this site about 7+ years ago (actually it was a different site back then)....for some reason there were multiple "Kerry's". Odd because I haven't been around many Kerry's (spelled that way) during my lifetime. Anyway, there was a Kerry and then a Kerry-initial or something, so I figured that I'd join the club - and became I "KerryToo".

I just went through the exact same thing. We lost all 4 of our parents in the last 5 years to LC. After the last of our wonderful parents died, I thought that just *maybe* we would be free of worrying about LC. Turns out that my worries went into overdrive. I have been anxious that every ache and pain in my chest and back were signs that I had LC. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, (face my worst fear) but I went and got an x-ray. I can't tell you the huge relief it has been to know that my aches and pains were not LC, but anxiety. (and whom would blame me?). My primary doctor seems to think that I'll worry about brain or colon cancer next week - and I don't appreciate that at all. You would think that someone that has lost so many to a particular cancer in the last 5 years would not be treated like they were worrying about "the cancer of the week". I really find it comforting to know that I am not "crazy" but that being a caregiver has its after effects. (Almost like Post Tramatic Stress Syndrome) Reduce your stress and worries and get checked out. It made a world of difference in my attitude and ability "to go on". I wish you WELL. KerryToo

Andrea~ I can totally relate with your sensitivity to non-challant comments about test results. I do think that we, as caregivers and family members of those with cancer, have our "radars" set up x 1000 on every little health related thing anymore. It doesn't sound like the nurse considered her words (or how they might be taken). My guess would be that due to the holidays, she was just letting you know that the doctor hadn't gotten around to reviewing it yet.

As I reported last week, my husband was having blood in his nasal mucus that resolved quickly with use of a humidifier. He had his follow-up appt re: his x-ray appt today. Turns out that they saw "patchy infiltration" in his upper rt. lobe. Doc seems to think it is "mild pneumonia that will resolve on its own - but with his history, wants a 2nd xray to verify that it resolved." The xray report also said it could be from "calcification of a rib"??? We are blessed to have such an involved GP, but I still worry (all the time!) ANy opinions? Thanks (as always) to the kind support.

My prayers go with Connie, too. God Bless!

Thank you for all the responses. They really have helped. I re-did the math, and it has actually been 7 years straight of dealing with LC and supporting/loving our wonderful parents through their course with this disease. I guess I'm coming to terms with the FACT that the fear of getting LC or having someone else that I love get it, will be something that will forever be with me - in the back (front, side, kitty corner) of my mind for the rest of my life. That sucks! I'm trying to learn how to "buck up" and live each day without worrying so much. Thanks again.

With all due respect, I could see if my husband was having blood in his mucus for a period of time, that we should be VERY concerned. However, when both my 10 year old and I are having blood in our Kleenex during the same time period after blowing our noses, I would tend to think that dry air were the culprit. My husband had blood in his nasal mucus for 2 days, and has since had 3 days with nothing (after using our humidifier). The nurse reported to us that his x-ray was fine. My post was mostly to say that we (my husband and I) are extremely sensitive to the slightest indication of any kind of possible sign of LC considering our history. Thanks to all the responses. I'm just worried that I'm over sensitive to every possible symptom anymore. I'm trying to figure out how to act normal after dealing with LC for so long, with so many relatives affected.

My prayers and peace to you both during this time. God be with you~

My husband and I have lost all of our parents to NSCLC in the past 5 years. He still smokes, down to less than 10 a day. On Thursday, he tells me that he is "coughing up blood" and made a doctor's appt. With further questioning, it turns out his sinuses were extremely dry and he had blood when he blew his nose. After blowing, he would spit into the sink and noticed a streak of blood and became very concerned. We went to the doctor that day, where he told my husband that it was most probably the dry air but wanted a chest x-ray considering that 1) he still smokes, 2) has lost both parents to lung cancer. We sparked up the humidifier and now the blood in his nasal mucus has disappeared. The nurse called the next day to say xray was fine, but doctor wanted to follow up next week. Then they would request that another chest xray be taken in a couple weeks. I cannot help but feel anxiety over this. I questioned, "why does the dr. want another xray if it was fine?" Was told "probably routine follow-up". I know that my rational mind is saying, "good, we want a dr. that is cautious." But my cancer anxiety mind is freaking out. I've even wondered - would they just tell us the xray is ok since it's a holiday weekend? Maybe there is something and they aren't telling us the truth. Why another xray? Can someone please tell me that I'm being irrational and paranoid....or what do you folks think? Thanks!

I hope that you don't find this inappropriate, but I heard the truth about the 72 virgins.... Apparently, Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and 69 of their friends were waiting for the Suicide Bombers in Heaven. When the Bombers got there, they said, "What? What is this? We are expecting to frolic with the 72 virgins?". George Washington stepped forward and said, "Sorry folks! What you're dealing with is 72 Virginians and we're mighty ticked off at you!"

God Bless you through this difficult time. I wish your Mother peace and may He give you strength.

Janet - I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what it feels like to want to pick up the phone and share your life with your Mom. I lost my wonderful Mom in September. She is the 4th loss in 5 years and I just don't have any words left. Take care and God Bless You. Kerry

Kim - I was in the exact same situation with my Mom. She was very stubborn about even discussing the issue of driving. What I did was a little reverse psychology - I told her that the treatment, etc. had slowed her reactions and that I was afraid that "those other crazy, aggresive drivers" might cut her off and she would get hurt. The truth was that she was no longer able to drive safely, but by blaming it on someone else, she relented. What a relief! And I second the comment that when it comes to having my kids in the car there is no way I would have allowed them to be endangered. Wishing you the best, KerryToo

I appreciate the kind words and suggestions. You'd think by now I'd be a professional in dealing with the aftermath of losing a loved parent/in-law to LC. It's been a very tough time losing all 4 in the past 5 years...but it was never "my Mom" - that seems to be the hardest blow of all to take. I find comfort in knowing that she and my wonderful Dad are together again without ailing bodies, but souls with wings. I know he's been waiting a long time for his life partner to be with him again. So, for this I am happy. Thanks for the support.

I had to fill out the first of many "beneficiary" forms today and just broke down after filling in a few lines. I just can't do this yet - I miss my best friend - My Mom. We were best friends from the time I was about 16 and I'm 44 now - don't know what to do. I miss her so much. I keep trying to pick up the phone for our usual 3, or 4 times a week phone call. So sad

Unfortunately, my Mom died before I made it home to see her. I have posted over the years about my parents and in-laws and their battles with cancer. The LCSC Family has been so supportive - I wish I could return the favor by providing strength and compassion as you have given to me. I feel like I've been on the receiving end instead of the giving end - which is what my Mom always taught me, be a giver. I will be back with any support or help that I can offer. I haven't posted about my wonderful Mom's death yet, and I still can't. Not yet. Her funeral was today and was quite beautiful and touching. I will write more about her on another day. Thank you for all the tremendous support over the years. It has given me strength.

My Mom is declining rapidly and thankfully, my three brothers have been with her giving her loving care at home. For the past week, since I found out that Mom was not doing well - (after 3.5 years fighting her heart out against this disease) - I have been dealing with the dilemma of "I don't want to go home to say goodbye" "I can't do this", "I won't be able to stop crying", etc. etc. Suddenly today, I decided that I must be in the DENIAL phase of grief. What was I thinking? Of course I needed to go home. Guess, I'm on to the ACCEPTANCE phase. My brothers tell me that they will lift me up when I'm feeling wimpy and teary during my visit with Mom this weekend. I have cried so much lately that I look like a raccoon anymore. My brother, Scott says "that's okay - you're a tough, strong raccoon! You can do this!" I have to say that there is an amazing relationship that develops among siblings dealing with the loss of their parent(s) to cancer. A strong, unbelievable blessing in all of the turmoil and grief that helps us get through together. Thank you for all the kind posts to me. I really appreciate it.

My Mom has been having an increasingly hard time breathing. She was admitted to the hospital on Tuesday evening. After multiple tests and x-rays it turns out that my Mom actually has progression of disease. Apparently, this form of cancer is pretty agressive so that explains her quick, downward spiral. The doctors say that the cancer has built up an immunity to the Tarceva. They do think that considering her stage of NSCLC, that the Tarceva really did work well for quite a long time. My brothers met with the oncologist, hospice and social services with my Mom today (I am out of state or I'd have been there). They recommend assisted living. My Mom has always said she didn't want to go into a facility. Thankfully, my brothers insisted that she be permitted to go home with assisted care. They stood up and said that money is not the issue here - giving my Mom the ability to stay in her own home is more important. I'm so proud of them for pushing the issue and insisting that we fulfill what she wants. This is so hard - I'm tired of this disease and all that it has taken from me. I'm going to go see her but I'm the biggest emotional wimp when it comes to my Mom - and I don't know how I will find the strength to go home to say goodbye.

I'm sorry to hear about your FIL. In my family's experience, the oncologists don't tend to wait too long to start treatment. They usually go right after the cancer with chemo or radiation treatment. When you find out what kind of chemo they are going to use, post about it because there are many here that know alot (way too much!) about the drugs and how they work or the side effects they may cause. The best advice on how to deal with chemo comes from those that have experienced it and can give you their opinions. Best wishes to your FIL and family.

Thank you to all of you that provided suggestions when I asked why my Mom could be declining so rapidly, but is NED. I finally got her to call her doctor and he had her come in right away for x-ray, blood test, etc. She's got cloudy stuff in her lung that was not in her lung x-ray last month. Dr. said that when she had bronchitis about 6-7 weeks ago, that he should have had her take the antibiotics longer than he originally perscribed. Thinks that this is a follow on to the bronchitis. Again, I appreciate your comments and concern. I've been through enough of this lung cancer treatment with family members, and worry terribly when my Mom takes a bad turn. I tell her she's our "poster child" - she's done so well for so long, considering everything. Thanks again.

My Mom was originally diagnosed with NSCLC IIIB. She went into remission, then a new primary in the opposite lung appeared. She also had a brain mets. The lung tumor is stable due to Tarceva, and she had RadioStatic Brain Radition which was successful - NED. She was taking steroids until about July, and has declined since then. She has very little energy, breathlessness, and no appetite. Week to week she slows down more and more and is able to do much less than before. She sleeps often and is exhausted at the least exertion. She finally received oxygen (today) but says that that doesn't make her feel much better. What is going on? I wonder if this will progress to complete inability to do much of anything. What I don't get is that the cancer seems to be under control - NED - but her body is saying "I've had enough"? Any comments or similar experiences? Thanks.

Oh rats is right! My prayers are with you both to give you strength to fight this fight. God Bless you!

In the past 5 years, my parents and in-laws have all been diagnosed with NSCLC. Three have passed away, but my Mom continues her fight to this day - 4.5 years since diagnosis at Stage IIIB. It is indeed horrible to have to deal with this disease yet again. But in a way, it is easier to take the 2nd, 3rd, etc. time around. The first family member being diagnosed seems more shocking and more devastating - maybe because of the fear of the unknown. But having been down this road, you become aware of what you should do NOW, what you and your family member are in for in the future, and how you can help and support both the patient and the rest of the family. God Bless you and yours