meredith

Oh Don, I am so sorry, you two were/are both inspirational. I am glad for you both that she died peacefully. Hope you are doing OK, or as well as can be expected. Please accept my sympathies.

I am so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful mother she was/is. And you are a dear daughter. I know you must miss her terribly...and you are in my prayers.

Hi there, and sorry your mother is experiencing all of these problems. Your mom's symptoms could be caused by several things, I think. It could be related to her disc problem or, or it could be perhaps cancer related. It is also possible that chemo has caused some nerve damage (some chemotherapies can cause this. I still have leg pain myself, although no bladder symptoms). Whatever the cause, I hope they find reasons soon. Best of wishes to you and your mom!

I am so sorry you feel bad. Cancer sucks. I had a ton of Cisplatin, and the nausea would be terrible at times. I just tried to take anti-nausea meds constantly (Zofran, compazine and ativan). Somtimes, especially nearing the end of treatment, I couldn't keep down the pills and used suppositories for nausea. Other than that, it helped me to lie still, be in a cool room, and eat popsicles, ice chips and some Boost. When I felt up to it, I would eat "bland" foods like rice, bananas, crackers, etc. in small amounts. Eating is important to keep your strength--and having something lite on your stomach often helps nausea--but don't feel the need to force yourself to eat. I think that just puts added stress on your mind and body (not to mention the digestive system!). Eat what you can for now. When your appetite returns, as it surely will, then eat like crazy and everything you want I know that cisplatin is tough. best wishes--I hope you feel better soon.

Today I've had a bad day emotionally, really just out of the blue. Most days I manage just fine and I rarely cry, but today all of these emotions just hit me and I started to get sad, angry and anxious. I guess it's a "Why me?" day. I spent the day with my 6 year old niece whom I love dearly. She's a wonderful child, and every time I looked at her today I was reminded of something I can't ever have: a child of my own. Looking at her, I also realized that I might not see her grow up. Feelings of death overwhelmed me today. I'm tired of being scared of the cancer coming back and scared of dying. I try to be proactive by doing research on my condition, but the statistics are frightening and depressing. Words like "rapidly fatal" and "very poor prognosis" wear a person down. But if I want to continue researching, I have to read the bad too. Can I ever leave the cancer behind? I'm 10 months out of treatment, but I still have daily reminders of it--neuropathy for example. I'm often scared to plan anything long term because I'm afraid the cancer will return, I'll have to endure more treatment and be disappointed that I can't carry out the plans I made. I still make plans, but there is always that cloud over me. Don't get me wrong--I am grateful for NED. I am/was stage 3B, and I feel I've come a long way. But it's sometimes still so hard. Anyway, this post is just rambling. I'm putting it in this section because I am grieving for myself (or perhaps feeling sorry for myself). I don't know what I need. Maybe help just trying to stay brave, strong and sane. What do you all do to get through rough days? Thanks guys.

It's annoying. I had the same symptoms. A lot of mine was related to premature menopause caused by the chemo (and radiation), but after chemo I would get really flushed (very red face) and would sweat night and day! Hope your mom can find some relief and feels better soon!

Sorry Gail for your loss.

Hi Carleen, You are often in my thoughts. He was a gem of a man--young, handsome, funny, loving--and it must hurt terribly to be without him.I know you wish for him to be in the physical world, but you know he is always in your heart and mind. I pray for your healing.

I had cisplatin and VP-16 and a whole LOT of it. I asked my doctor the same question, and his opinion was the cisplatin was more aggressive (though more harsh), but I've read some research that the carboplatin/VP-16 is just as effective. So I don't really know. Maybe there's not enough research comparing the two? Cisplatin is difficult to tolerate, and I think has more serious and long term side effects. However, perhaps your friend should take the cisplatin as the doctor recommends and if the side effects are severe or causing too many problems, then switch to the carbo. best of luck to her. Keep us updated if you can!

Sorry your mother is dealing with this depression. I experienced it myself for a few months. I think what helped get me out of it was getting my symptoms (from treatment)under control or stopped. It is so very difficult to feel upbeat when you feel terrible and depression is not uncommon in cancer patients, but it is treatable. Is your mom in any severe/chronic pain? I was having bad pain from the radiation. I was hurting, depressed, would stare out into space for a long time. I couldn't concentrate and wanted nothing to do with family or friends or going out. At first I didn't ask for pain meds because I thought the pain would pass quickly and I didn't want to seem like I was "complaining." But after I started taking the pain meds regularly I felt so much better! And I wanted to start doing things again. I now know how important it is to keep the pain away as best you can. Although I never talked with a therapist, I know many cancer patients who have and it helped them. Talking to survivors might also lift her spirits and the depression--hope could be what is needed. Anti-depressants are also able to help. Clinical depression (which sounds like what your mom has) is fairly common in cancer patients, but it's still not considered "normal." Help is needed. The fog of depression can be lifted. Best of wishes to you both.

I'm gaining weight like crazy myself, being 20-30 pounds heavier now than I was before all the cancer mess. And I feel better than I have in more than a year!! I think your fat cow theory makes a lot of sense.

I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine the difficulties you're going through. It's plain to see how much you love your mother...and vice versa. Best wishes to both of you. Cherish every moment.

When I was diagnosed, I was 4 classes away from a bachelors in Political Science, minor in Law and Justice. Now, I only need 3 classes, which I plan to finish in the Fall. SO, I guess my main "occupation" is "Student!" While going to school, I also worked as a waitress.. I liked doing both...

I actually have this book!! When I got to this particular chapter, I felt relief. I got tired of being told to "stay positive" by people who had never had to deal with cancer and its treatment. Even though I know people mean well, that kind of attitude does place a tremedous burden on the patient who is already dealing with so much. I was told in one day that I had an aggressive cancer, would have aggressive treament, and never be able to have children of my own (and I had just gotten engaged 3 months prior!), and people were saying "OH, you gotta be positive!" Well, excuse me for feeling low, anxious and overwhelmed! My mom, bless her heart, was actually the worst culprit, but she also did some reading and now tells me I can feel like crap whenever I feel like it Anyway, like I said, I have this book and am done reading it. If anyone would like it, I would happily send it to them.

You poor thing, you have a lot going on. It's good and healthy to vent your concerns and fears, and this is the place to do it! Try not to worry (although I know that's easier said than done).