Nick C
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Posts posted by Nick C
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The Hospital should have clergy on call. Ask the nurse to contact him/her.
If you feel as though you are at the end of your rope, tell him/her that. Talk it out as a start.
Also, have you called hospice? I know your mom is in the hospital, but you can still call them and get them involved. They will both assist your mom in being comfortable and assist the family (you) as well.
I never got the chance to get hospice involved, but I understood that that is what they do.
I have just prayed that you find the strength to go on and that your mom finds peace and comfort.
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I SO understand.
All I want to do is call Mom.
I get it and am crying with you.
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Thank you for sharing your journey of healing.
I'm so sorry for all that has happened.
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Lost my Mom
in GRIEF
I can't imagine thinking she beat it and then she's gone. I am so sorry. There are many who know your pain, but yours is special, because your pain is about HER.
But she survives through you.
I just prayed that God gives you strength in this time.
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If I read right he has liver and brain mets.
I know hospice is a dirty word to a child who loves their parent. But we called them before mom had pain just because we knew if she did, they would specialize in making her comfortable. we also knew with brain mets, mom was going to die(clinged to a bit of hope as only God has the final word).
Is that something you'd want to do?
It is hard, but my mother was not concerned with buying extra days, but she was VERY interested in being comfortable.
We never needed hospice, mom went very quickly, but if there is pain...maybe they can help?
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When mom was diagnosed Sep 5, I told my boss to let his boss know. And told him I will do my best during this time. (my issue a bit different b/c I was the one who would take mom to appts).
Mom left us Oct 5. I will be returning to work Oct 16. My boss came to the wake, told him I'd be back, and will be doing the best I can.
I know bosses are sometimes not understanding, but it's hard to blame you when you are being as up front as you can about the situation.
So just speak to him and HR dept if you have one. Best of luck and I am so sorry you are dealing with all this.
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Suggestions. It's tough, which is what stinks about this disease. Every one is different. As is every case.
I can only tell you my experience and what the Dr. said I did right.
When mom was diagnosed, (stage 4 to brain and other places. THe brain was the immediate problem) they wanted to radiate immediately. Mom said no, took her time, found out everything that was wrong with her. Really took the time she needed. And from day one, I told her I would go to every appt., listen WITH her, and whatever she decided, I would fully support.
Honor your m-i-l's wishes. Offer support and understanding.
Don't beat yourself up over trying to "cure" this. That is up to the doctors. Second opinions are always good, but when it comes down to it, you can't "fix this" your self.
Just support.
My wife supported my mother by going to the beach and getting their nails done...because she listened to what mom wanted. And moms 30 days were good because of that listening.
God bless you and I just said a prayer for you.
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I'm so sorry for your and her frustrations.
Don't stop working, work served a a very good distraction for me during our very short battle.
But I too was an only child, it's hard. But you are doing so right by her by making sure her needs are covered.
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Mom's been gone 3 1/2 days. but it took Jesus 3 to come back, so I think I have time.
My wife said she felt that she experienced mom watching me sleep already.
TOnight, my family was here, and it was joyous. My cousins felt in the midst of all the laughter, they could hear her laughing too.
I don't feel mom yet. I don't think I am open. Still feel too hollow inside.
But when the time is right, I hope she is made present to me.
I need to know she is OK.
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Thank you for sharing.
It sound like some lovely words were spoken.
But I'm sorry, because it doesn't change the fact that it still hurts.
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Lost Member
in GRIEF
Wow, this disease acts too quickly. I pray for those kids.
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Mom's Obituary. It ran today.
Too real.
Randy Dale Cappiello – 56, of Darien, CT died October 5 of complications due to Cancer. Randy, long time resident of Stamford CT, was born October 2, 1950 to Perley Lee and Isabel Ash.
She was Assistant Vice President at Ticor Title in Stamford CT.
She is survived by a son and daughter-in-law, Nick and Keri Cappiello of Ridgefield, CT, her beloved boyfriend Chuck Sayers of Southbury, CT, and her mother Isabel Ash of Spring Hill, Florida. In addition, she has two brothers, David and Tim Lee and 4 nieces.
Randy was a vibrant and energetic woman who loved the garden and listening to the birds, working and taking care of her friends and neighbors.
Friends may call from 2-4PM and 6-8PM on Monday, October 9 at the Leo P. Gallagher & Son Funeral Home in Stamford, CT. A short memorial service will be held October 10th at the funeral home at 6:00pm.
In lieu of flowers memorial donations may be made to the Foundation for Lung Cancer: Early Detection, Prevention & Treatment, c/o Dr. Claudia Henschke, Lung Cancer CT Screening Program, 525 East 68th St, J-033, Box 586 New York, NY 10021 or go to www.ielcap.org
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There's nothing wrong with supporting breast cancer...my mom survived that. BUT she knew. She felt a lump. And the protocol now is to have mamograms. And that is GREAT! Women know now and many charities make mamograms available. And that is all a very good thing.
But now we need to get the word out that Lung cancer dosent have a lump, or a detection protocol that physicians all agree on and is effective.
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My mom's approach to being terminal was this:
If there was a 1% chance she could beat it, she would have unhooked the water leads, unscrewed the drain, scraped off the caulking and thrown the kitchen sink at herself! She said she would have.
My mother felt great when she was diagnosed with 10 metastaces in her brain from the lung and all other stuff too.
She knew there was nothing to do. So she did radiate the brain hoping she would keep her mind in tact and in her words live every day like it was her FIRST. Meaning wonder in everything like you've never seen it before.
And she did that for 30 days!
I wish for you the same quality of days, just many many many more of them. And if there is a chance at fighting, then I wish for you blessed decision making.
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Advice...wow, too much and yet not enough.
What we found valuable in the evaluation phase was making sure there were two sets of ears with every conversation we had with the Dr. Because we pieced things together later and found we missed stuff.
Write a ton of questions and ensure you don't cut yourself short. Yes the Dr is busy, but you have to take the time from him.her that you need to make an informed decision.
God bless.
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I too am shouting!!!
My mom was so angry that the testing doesn't pick up lung cancer. There was a lot we didn't get to discuss as diagnosis to mom's passing was one month, BUT she did say she wanted to discuss protocols with me. So we are asking in lieu of flowers donations be sent to ielcap.org. They are for screening using low radiation dose CT scans for those at risk. Here's the kicker, that last ten years my mother has done x-rays and tumor markers, nothing ever showed. One of the testing sites that does this low dose CT which may have saved my mom's life is two towns over. BUT NO DOCTOR says this should be done.
My wife and I are going to make sure to make this a standard protocol for breast cancer survivors, smokers and former smokers and those w/ a history of lung cancer in the family.
This disease is just to devistating for this inadequate detection!!!
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Heather,
I know this is hard.
You should get a second opinion...many therapies do improve quality of life.
Re: a quick spiral, a friend had pancreatic cancer and was given 6 months, but lived a wonderful 4 years.
My mother was not ever given a "time line" But lived 1 month after diagnosis...but was fine for the first 28 days of it.
It can happen either way, maybe try as best you can to be prepared for both.
But either way I just said a prayer for you and your family.
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Thank you all.
I will continue to be here both for support for me and hopefully to others.
I have learned many things in the last month. Most of which I wish I never had to learn. But I hope to be able to help others with what I now know. I will over the next few weeks be sure to share these things here, start topics I found little info on on the net and share those things I feel others would not be prepared for as there were many things like that.
But most of all, and this is a topic for another thread, but Mom was angry that the methods for detection are inadequate. And wanted to discuss with me initiatives she felt should be taken. We didn't get a chance to have the conversation, but I knew her better than anyone, and know how the conversation would have went.
I'm researching right now to find what is the best way to support initiatives to better screening leading to early detection and more effective treatment. My mom did tumor markers and chest x-rays EVERY YEAR and they didn't detect this. Mom felt there has to be an answer to this.
Again thanks all and I'll be around!
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Thank you for the responses.
Mom left us yesterday.
I'm so sad.
One month since diagnosis.
But it was a wonderful month and I am thankful for that.
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Remeber there is a place with no pain and no suffering, and we all have that place to look forward to.
Your family is in my prayers.
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I will be taking the keys today.
I love my mom so much, and hate that she is going through this. And I hate being the one upsetting her.
She's tough as nails and has never let anyone do anything for her.
So this is such a change for her.
BTW, I have trolled through a bunch of topics here and found them SO helpful in my dealing with this situation. Thank you all for sharing.
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My mother is in the middle of radiation for metasticised lung cancer in the brain.
Between the insomnia from the decadron, the weakness from the decadron (she's been on it for 3 weeks) and the fatigue from the radiation, she can barely keep her eyes open. But she drove to work this morning and her co worker called me concerned. So I forbid her to drive home, and her co worker drove her home. We spoke and I made her promise not to drive until Radiation is over.
She promised.
But I am afraid of confusion and forgetfulness that she might have and then get in the car. Is this a concern? Should I confiscate her keys? Or should I trust that she will not drive. I just don't know if her judgement will be SO impaired as to go against her promise. Anyone have experience with this?
I am probably going to take the keys and say I read on the message board that I should.
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I am in a similar situation. My mom was diagnosed a few weeks ago.
I was unclear on where the pain was and where they were radiating. My mother's symtoms were stroke like, not pain. So they are radiating the brain for 3 weeks, 5 days on, 2 days off.
Hopefully this will shrink the tumors and give her her mobility back.
He hurts!
in CAREGIVER RESOURCE CENTER
Posted
Tammy too much going on here!!!
I am so sorry.
I will say a prayer of healing for dad and strength for you.