moorech3

My mom has been hospitalized now for 1 1/2 weeks for pain. She is now so drugged up she is totally incoherent. An MRI showed a small spot on the spine but they did not think that was causing the pain. The nurse has talked about hospice, but now the doctor is ordering a spinal tap to see what else might be causing her pain. My question is, why would he be ordering more tests if they are thinking hospice is the next step? Is it so they can better treat the pain, or is he just curious? The pain meds she is on now are not really working well so maybe if they can pinpoint the cause they can do more for her? I'm hoping they are keeping her in the hospital for more tests for a reason. She is really wanting to go home. Any insight from anyone? Thanks.

Before quitting to stay home with my twins I was a Human Resources Director. If your company is large enough, they are required to provide a minimum of 12 weeks unpaid FMLA leave. It can be taken all at once or intermittantly for appointments. If you do decide to quit altogether, I do NOT believe it would be looked at negatively when you decided to go back to work. In fact, I personally would see it as a positive showing you are a responsible, caring, compassionate person with your priorities straight who is dedicated to the task at hand. It is a tough choice and scary to leave a job, expecially one you like. I can say I feel blessed to have been able to be there for whatever my mom has needed through this battle she is waging and not feel torn by work responsibilities. Best of luck with your decision and prayers for you and your family.

My mom has been hospitalized for the second time in two weeks for pain (back and legs). They have her now on 80mg of oxycontin with morphine and something else for breakthrough pain but even this is not working. They are trying to do an MRI to determine the cause of the pain but she won't do it without sedation so it is taking longer than we want. Is this normal to be in excrutiating/debilitating pain with cancer all the time? At most she has 1-2 hours of relief at a time. Should I be demanding more of the doctors? They seem to be trying to help but should they be doing more? Any advice and prayers are so appreiciated. It's killing us to watch her like this. Thanks

Thank you all! We are off to the doctor today and this information is very helpful. I'll keep you posted.

Hi - My mom has been experiencing a lot of pain in her legs and hips. She has not had a bone scan yet though I am urging her to do so. She also tries to take as little pain medeicine as possible - mostly taking ibuprofin with a few stronger pills here and there. The doctors have suggested morphine for the pain but she won't do that becuase she had a friend who lost her cancer battle several years ago and morphine was the last pain med she was on. What are some other good options for leg and hip pain that never seems to go away? Thanks for your ideas and you prayers for mom.

My aunt had a woman come to the house to do manicures for the girls. It was great because my mom did not have to leave (was in pain from surgery and also self conscious about her hair loss) and I could have my 4 year old daughter with us which my mom enjoyed watching get her her nails done. She was there 3 hours or so and we ate, talked, and forgot about life for a while. You could find someone on the internet in your area I am sure. Hope you all have fun!

You should talk to your HR people, but I believe you have the right to take FMLA in increments rather than all at once. So you could take one day here, a half day there, etc as needed then if things change, take the time in larger blocks. The minimum you should have is 12 weeks over a 1 year period but some companies/states allow for more time. It is so hard to balance everything, I know.

Hi - My mom just had brain surgery to remove 2 tumors. The doctors want to start whole brain radiation next week but now she is feeling extremely tired (a new thing in this 18 month journey for her) as well as numbness and pain in her legs and hips. My research says maybe this is bone mets? The nurse she talked to told her she was trying to do too much after surgery - almost dismissing her symptoms but I am not convinved that is the case given how strong of a person she has always been both physically and mentally. Does anyone have advice on whether she should go ahead and have the WBR (10 days) first, or whether we should push to see about the possible bone mets first. I don't think they would treat both at the same time. Thank you for your insight - it is so hard having no idea what to do.

My mom has been experiencing severe pain in her foot (only one). She says it is very bad in the morning but still pretty painful during the day. She went to a foot doctor who thought it might be tendonitis but it has not gotten better after over a month. Could this be related to chemo? It was not listed as a side effect on any meds she has taken so far. Any ideas are appreciated.

The only thing that has gotten me through this terrible journey is my faith that God has a plan for each of our lives and that he allows what he hates in order to accomplish what he loves. If you do not have a church relationship, there are usually many non-denominational churches around who have specific ministires to help people deal with greif. Maybe try looking at one of their websites or ask a neighbor?? Not trying to push anything on you but thought I would offer the idea. I will pray for you, your mom, and all the deicisions you will be making soon.

I empathize with you so much. It is so hard to know what to do, I find I agonize over every decision...should I ask this or not, should I say this or not. I think you did the right thing and no matter what, if you do it from love, then it is always right. All the best for you and your mom.

My mom's second line treatment was Alimta. Unfortunately it did not work for her, though it must work for some if he recommended it. All the best to you and your mom and I'll pray for you both.

My mom used to drink children's liquid tylenol when her throat got bad. You have to do the math on the dosage and obviously can't overdo it but she said it helped provide some temporary relief and it was soothing going down. I remember her throat would feel better about a week after the radiation round but then would feel bad a few days after they started again. Good luck and praayers for you both.

I don't even know you and I am crying for your loss too. I am so sorry for you and pray God will hold you and your family close as you grieve.

Maybe your Dad does not want to be alone so he is putting up with the GF. Have you asked him if he wants hospice or someone else there with him? Maybe that would make him feel better about asking her to leave. I can imagine how difficult this decision must be for you. I'll pray for God to give you the answer. He always does.