Flowergirlie

I try and try to take care of my husband and make sure he has what he needs and the best quality of life possible right now and what do I get? He is slamming against the bathroom door first thing in the morning while I am trying to get ready for work after I massaged his aching back and neck for 25 minutes (out of the little bit of time I usually allow myself in the morning), screaming and telling me he is going to throw all of us out of the house. How many times does he have to call me stupid and complain about what I haven't gotten done? I am at work and en route to work for 11 hours of my day so I can pay all the bills, only to come home and make dinner and clean up after everyone and everything and I certainly get NO THANK YOU from him, no peace of mind, just screamed at! I am sorry for complaining but I have had it! The good days are special but there are not many of them anymore.

Congratulations and thank you for being an inspiration to me too in my early days along this tough road.

The news was not good. We do take every day and minute one at a time but they all seem to have more bad news. The doctor said it is extensive and that there is no other treatment possible besides chemo. He said he will not ever be able to endure radiation and surgery is not an option. He thinks he has maybe a year. My husband does not know the entire prognosis yet (the expected survival time), as I spoke with the doc by myself for a few minutes, but he knows that it is bad and said he has nothing to live for anyway so why should he go on? The doctor already gave him anti anxiety and anti depressants but my husband refuses to take them because he "doesn't need them". It is so hard and he feels so helpless and is in such constant extreme pain. It is horrible to watch and not be able to do anything except love him and take care of him when he lets me. The kids are 14, 13 and 11. They sort of understand but sometimes it is so bad around the house that it is hard not to believe some of the awful things he says. Thank you all! I know everyone is going through terrible cancer experiences and I am not the only one. Right now is just too much to deal with and I wouldn't be doing as well as I am even if I didn't have the support of everyone here understanding how hard it is to be a caregiver.

We are waiting for results that will come in about 2 hours for the PET and CT. I am having so much trouble dealing with the emotions of not only my husband but myself now too. My husband is so angry and goes into rages frequently and says the most hurtful things imaginable. I do not know how to respond or cope anymore. I work full time, take care of 3 kids and care for my husband who has sclc, extensive or limited defined today. And he doesn't think I care or do enough and is always complaining about how stupid and out to lunch I am. Is anyone else dealing with these rages and hurtful words from there loved ones?

I saw you are in the PDX area also. My husband was just diagnosed with sclc last month. Let me know if you would ever like to get together and talk or need anything. Thanks!

I am so glad I introduced myself! I appreciate all of the encouragement, caring and understanding. I think we all need pep talks once in a while to refire the motivation (and I needed one badly ). I know I am not the first to be in this situation and am so glad that I can benefit from all of your knowledge, even though I wish none of us had to be here. I will keep you up with the results when we have them. It is not easy waiting for all of these scans to happen!

I am a caregiver and would like to meet people locally or even communicate by email to share experiences and whatever. I am 34 and my husband, 41, was just recently diagnosed with sclc. It isn't easy and there is no reason to do this alone. Also, if you need any help and are in the PDX area, I can help as time permits, like rides somewhere or grocery shopping or whatever.

Hi Everyone! I have been browsing this site for about a month now and thought I should introduce myself and share a little. Husband, 41, diagnosed 9/10/06 with inoperable sclc. First PET scan scheduled for next Monday (Halloween) and second CT scheduled for this Friday. CT scan in hospital indicated tumors on both adrenal glands but doctor said not conclusive. Chemo started immediately following diagnosis and is 3 days on and 2 weeks off for 3 months or so. Radiation can not start with an undetermined stage of cancer according to oncologist so the CT and PET should tell us a lot. We have had a wonderful relationship and I have had the greatest times of my life with him. However; this diagnosis has stemmed emotions and rage from him that I didn't know he was capable of. It is scary and very hard to cope with. For the past few days it has not been bad, actually very good but varies from day to day. The doctor prescribed anti-depressants and he took them for a couple weeks and seemed to be evening out and then decided he would NOT take any medication anymore. We have 3 kids to raise and they have had a hard time accepting this and want to treat him like everything is fine, which makes him very angry. Life is so precious and short. I wish I could take this all away from him and make him better. He was sick for several months prior to diagnosis. We thought it was mono at first because of the night sweats, lack of appetite and weight loss, lack of energy, all of that. It just would not go away and so he finally agreed to go to the Emergency Room. The first time in ER he was diagnosed with pneumonia and sent home with antibiotics. When he wasn't better 3 weeks later, I took him back to the ER. He didn't want to go and I knew already (in the back of my mind) something was really wrong and he was very scared now. An 8 cm tumor was discovered in/ out of his right lung. He is in such constant pain in his body. All the other tests showed no metastasis, besides the possibility to the adrenal glands. It is so hard to believe that this is all happening. I have to be strong because I have to raise the kids and keep the household going, care for my husband of course, work full time. Support is vital for the caregivers too! My husband used to appreciate me more than he does now (not so much) when I am working even harder now than ever before. I appreciate the community created here and also that people who have lung cancer are here to share input and feelings and other caregivers with insight and advise. It has helped keep me going when I didn't think I would make it through the day.