Flowergirlie

My poor hubby has been so miserable. I am fully aware that he is seen as a 'difficult' person which I like to describe instead as passionate . He is special to our family of course but maybe not the MOST important patient in the cancer center even though we are partial . But, we are dealing with a new treatment team in the radiation area and hubby is having a lot of new and evolving problems in which I attempted to discuss and find resolutions to and was really horrified at how the conversation progressed with the nurse. I was telling her that I know where all of this is headed but the unbelievable amounts of pain my husband endures everyday is controllable to some degree with the right knowledge and prescriptions and the nurse showed no compassion whatsoever. We had decided that hubby was not going to continue treatment because it is not curative and his quality of life is far below poor and we are accepting that and that nurse was saying to the effect that she thought he should not give up and keep going with treatment because maybe he could stick around for a couple more years but he is MISERABLE and what is responsible? Should I selfishly desire for my husband to live so I do not have to deal with the unbearable concept of his death or should I lovingly comfort him as he goes through the remainder of his life and allow him to go knowing that we will be OK and he does not have to worry anymore? It makes me so angry that medical persons can not accept when someones wishes are to have quality over quantity. I wish for him only peace and to grant his last wishes if possible, is that so wrong?

Good news is always welcome, yes? I am happy you have received some. So are they doing radiation on the brain? Typically they do 6 rounds of the original chemo regimine of carboplatin and etoposide for sclc. I would be really interested in hearing if your husbands oncologist has another approach. Stay positive and appreciate every day to the fullest. Flowergirlie

My thoughts are with you (((Sonia))). I am here for you.

Not much time but took husband to doc after posting last week and he ordered CT which showed progression of original lung tumor and MRI which showed so many lesions on the brain that they stopped counting at 25. Doc said it is time for WBR and then chemo again. I had to tell hubby full story so he can make an educated decision regarding further treatment. He has decided to do the radiation but no more chemo. He is in tremendous amounts of pain even with the pain meds he has opted to take. This is HORRIBLE. I am now on leave from work because taking care of him and assuring his best chance for comfort is my number one goal. I can't believe what an unforgiving disease this is. The suffering is more than anyone should ever have to endure. The doc said it is appropriate to call in hospice once radiation is complete. My hubby desires to take a trip to his favorite place in the world before he passes and I don't even know if we can do that since he is bedridden now.

My husband seems to be getting worse quickly. The doctor offered any pain medicine in order to make him comfortable and he refused. He wants to be alert enough to fight but he is tired and doesn't have fight left. He wants to survive so he can stay with us but the cancer has taken over. I told him that he is not weak and we will be OK. It is so horrible! I wish this would all go away! I am a wreck. I think it is time for hospice.

(((Grace))) Always here for you! Flowergirlie

Thank you! That was so thoughtful and appropriate!

Taking a walk in the park, a warm bath or riding my bicycle with my hubby and boys.

Stoopider than average by 4.7% but I was on the phone at the same time if that counts for anything.

Pineapple...and that pretty much hits it on the head too...

Scrubs...and too often there is a cancer patient and I still watch and cry my head off...other than that I dislike TV aside from History Channel, Discovery, PBS...anything educational.

I like cooking but hate cleaning up!!! I have 3 teenage boys. AGH! I have a great appreciation for this website! Flowergirlie

Sounds like positive news to me! I know my hubby experienced pains in different parts of his body that were unrelated so hopefully it is OK. (But I see that it is, so YIPPEEEE!) It is so hard to stay rested and not anxious in between tests and check-ups, huh? I can not stand that anticipation! Hang in there! We are here for you. Flowergirlie

(((Grace))) I am so sorry! I wish you and the girls all the comfort at this difficult time. I wish there was something I could do to make it better. Please know that we are all here for you! Melinda

I agree with talking to the doctor first and deciding to go or wait based upon that information. Personally, I have asked my hubby's family and friends to come visit us "sooner than later" since he is feeling pretty good right now as opposed to waiting and not knowing if it will ever be as good of a time. I know it is different cicumstances but sort of the same jist. If you are there in person, you can accompany her to the doctor and gently inquire about anything you feel you need to know as well as see if you can get authorization to request information without going through your mom. My thoughts are with you. Flowergirlie

I am not familiar with the effects of radiation (my husband only had chemo) but just wanted to say hi, welcome, sorry you have to be here and I am very sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis. Cancer is so horrible. Do you know what kind of cancer your dad has (small cell, non small cell??). My thoughts are with you! Flowergirlie

My thoughts are with you! It is so hard when you have to work and be the caretaker and wife. Please know we are all here for you! Flowergirlie

I will tell you that my husband was very determined to fight in the beginning and began to lose that during treatment because he felt so bad BUT once he was done with treatment for that time, he started to feel better gradually...remember, ANY bit of time that your dad feels OK or good is time to be thankful for and enjoy. I think it is fantastic that you and your sister are flying down to see him and be a support to him! Cherish every moment as much as you can and love him and listen to him if he wants to talk. I think the best gift is being there and available with no pressure on him for anything. I am glad they prescribed something for the diarrhea. That is so unpleasant on top of everything else. I am here for you if you need to talk or anything else I might be able to help out with. Flowergirlie

Oncologist would like to wait until the last minute to do any additional treatment (chemo). Since it is not curative, quality of life is important.

Hello to all! I am still here but times have been so tough. My husband finished his 6 rounds of chemo January 4 and we had the CT just a week ago to show the progress. It was not what we had hoped for. The cancer has progressed to the other lung but he is feeling pretty good and we are thankful for every day he feels good. He does not want to know his prognosis still and has decided he is still alive because he doesn't know he is supposed to be dead. He said he wants to keep it that way. Well, that is one way to look at it and I respect his wishes, so long as they do not affect him adversely in any way. It is hard to balance everything and also to stay positive but I do the best I can. I feel so overwhelmed and I have nightmares nightly but just hang in there and do the best I can with a smile on my face as much as possible.

Hi Nicole! I am sorry your family is going through this and your dad is suffering. Your supportiveness for your mom and dad is so wonderful! Treatment is so hard and can definitely take its toll on many levels. Even though there are many side effects possible and probable with treatment, you should still advise your mom to contact his doctor because he can be given something to make him more comfortable and especially stop the diarrhea. It is important to stay hydrated and keep the weight on. Have you been in the family members/ caregivers area of this website? Everyone here is so supportive! Please contact me anytime you need to. Flowergirlie

Grace, My thoughts are with you! I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish there was something I could do to make it better. Flowergirlie

(((Grace))) I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am here if you need to talk. My thoughts are with you. I know it is so hard for the kids to have to go through this and you have to be strong for Carlton, your girls and yourself. You can do it! We are all here for you! Flowergirlie

It is just a scary ride...for the caretaker too! It is so hard to watch the one you love hurt and be scared. I am glad the oncologist said he is sounding better. Hang in there! I hope he starts to feel better. Flowergirlie

I think your mom has the right attitude, even though it is so very difficult to think it is all better and then find out it isn't. We had a situation as well but it was the doctor just not telling us ALL OF THE INFORMATION, and I was equally upset to know that he knew my husband was extensive instead of limited and didn't tell us for over a month. I finally found out matter of factly from the nurse. I think that ultimately everyone wants to be able to present good or positive news to someone with cancer and I am sure her intentions were not ill-willed. She should probably be gently told that she gave misinformation so that she will not do this again because as you know, it is devastating. Maybe you can stop this from happening to someone else.