Flowergirlie

(((Grace))) I am so sorry you are hurting so much! I understand that we can never really be prepared and it still has not been very long. Please do not be hard on yourself. You have been through so much and grieving happens before, during and after. Allow yourself to feel and love your girls like crazy to help them get through too (and please remind me of this later). I am always here for you! Flowergirlie

I hope it all goes well with chemo today. If you are uncomfortable talking about big issues in the chemo room, you can always request a brief private chat with doctor or primary nurse. Personally, I have found the nurse to reveal much more information and more thoroughly answer my questions than the oncologist. After you get copies of the blood work, I found it most explanatory to go online and see what each of them mean/ represent and then if I had any questions, that is what I posed to the nurse...just in case you wanted to take it a step further. Also, I got copies of CT readings so I could know firsthand what was going on. Not sure if that was always good, as it can be quite devastating, but oncologist seemed to be leaving out information since there was no way to address/ treat certain things...It did help me to stay a little more realistic. Peace, Flowergirlie

My hubby sees what he calls water buffalos in his drinks. He gets angry that they are in there and needs a new glass and drink. He sees and hears a lot of things these days...Are the bugs upsetting to her? If so, I would say something to her doctor and see if you can get something else. Flowergirlie

I am sorry your MIL is experiencing so much pain. Do you have any further update? My husband sounds like he is in about the same boat. He does not eat, barely drinks, is bed ridden and yet STILL wants to take this trip to California. I will have to carry him but I will if that is what is takes. My husband is supposed to have chemo today. I will be surprised if they are able to do it. It is hard to believe that any doctor would do treatment when the person is in poor shape and unable to care for themselves to such a degree. What makes me angry is that the medical industry AND society expects cancer patients to fight, fight, fight even when they are suffering horribly whether there is a cure or not. I know none of us want the inevitable but is dying worse than being so sick and bedridden and not even in a state of consciousness? What are we expecting our loved ones who are suffering so much to do? Live like this for us? No one can know how much time is left but I think subconsciously you know when someone is close. I think you have a good grasp on it all. I hope you are doing alright. Please feel free to PM me if you would like to. I am sending you positive thoughts and wishes for comfort and peace. Flowergirlie

I am sorry for your loss, even if my condolences are late. Wishing peace and comfort for you and your family. Flowergirlie

Any word on this yet? The blood tests can indicate a lot. I get copies of all of my husbands blood work just so I can keep up with the changes. It has helped me to raise a lot of questions to the triage nurse who knows me so well after the past 6 months of my frequest phone calls. She helps explain any disrepencies so that I can anticipate what is coming (maybe)... Take Care~ Flowergirlie

I think they both need to talk and come to a happy medium. It is so true that cancer is too stressful anyway...There are many people who are not so fortunate to have the opportunity to bicker over house cleaning. Cancer has taught me so much but one thing is perspective and having the wisdom to step back and evaluate what is important and what is not. Nit picking about anything is probably on the less important. I hope your folks find peace and comfort between them and thankfulness for all the time they get together. Hugs, Flowergirlie

THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU!!! I just happened on this by mistake since I have not had much time lately to read and reply! You guys are awesome and SO APPRECIATED ALWAYS! Flowergirlie

I am sorry for the loss of Crystal girl! I am glad you were able to get one more night with her to show your love. Peace and comfort to you! Flowergirlie

Isn't that just how it goes? Life is so unpredictable and I suppose in the midst of such turmoil, we have to always be prepared to rejoice the joys that are sometimes few and far between. CONGRATULATIONS on some good news and new life! Flowergirlie

Well, I had to call the doc because I couldn't take it anymore. The oncall doc said there is no reason why he should not have had breakthrough pain relief and called in a prescription which is seemingly helping to mask the pain. Hubby said if he can just feel like this then the trip is still on. We would be going to Cali, our old stomping grounds, and visiting our old favorite places. He said if he can make the trip, then he will go peacefully upon our return. It breaks my heart but it is what has to be. Tomorrow he is supposed to have a chemo treatment in order to help with the breathing, which is labored, so we will see if that happens. The kids are having a horribly tough time but understand that his pain is unbearable and wish for his peace above everything. Thanks for all of your support! Flowergirlie

I know it is so hard. Thanks for the update on your husband. Are you hanging in there? My husband is experiencing similar problems with not eating and horrific pain. It is so hard to watch the one you love suffer. My husband has lost 25 pounds in the past month. Sending you positive thoughts and lots of support! I wish there was more I could do to make it easier to deal with. Flowergirlie

I am heartbroken that the cancer returned to her. It is so hard and then to top it off with being a party to a political figure and all the attention that entails. I think she is a brave woman and is supportive of her husband pursuing his campaign and that is OK. It is like all of us, we know it is hard but ultimately we all have to go on.

Welcome Nova! I am sorry to read about your husband and all of your life changes. I know it is so hard to swallow. This is a great resource for information and support. Please feel free to come here with any questions, rants, etc you may have. I too am a spouse going through sc extensive lung cancer with my husband. Please feel free to PM me if you want or need. I am a great listener (reader). Sending you positive thoughts! Flowergirlie

I am so sorry for your loss Heather! Wishing you and yours peace and comfort during this time. Flowergirlie

It is so hard when you are the one that has to pull yourself back up and be the strength for everyone, believe me, I know. Please let us help you find renewed strength. Sending you positive thoughts and energy! Flowergirlie

That was so beautifully written, as always! You have a wonderful way of expressing yourself and I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate it. It is so important to give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you need to feel. I have had a hard time with that myself through this. Thank you, again, for sharing. Flowergirlie

Cancer does suck! I am sorry you have to go through this with your dad. Sending positive thoughts and hoping the pain is reduced quickly. Flowergirlie

I am so sorry! Try to enjoy whatever time there is. No one can say exactly how long someone has but some people do not even get a chance to say goodbye. Sending positive thoughts to you!

Yipppeeee! Congratulations!

I really like the photo you have posted. It is very sweet! Thanks for sharing your positive energy! Flowergirlie

I am sorry for your difficult situation. Having cancer is hard enough without having the addition of painful family issues rearing its head. Unfortunately family and money can cause such splits. I have experienced that myself. Being there for your mom and loving her is so important. You can not force others to be compassionate and are not responsible for their lack thereof, but only for yourself. Try to stay positive. We are always here for you! Flowergirlie

It never gets easier! I am suffering watching my husband suffer so much everyday. Well, he is sleeping most of the time now. I am not sure if it is time but it seems like it. I had a dream that it is time...we are only one week away from the onset of the trip he wanted to take as his "parting cup" and it doesn't look like he is going to make it. He wanted to take the kids on this one last adventure, even if he had to be in a severely altered state to manage. He is not eating anymore. Last night he blamed me for all of his weight loss, told me he hated and resented me for doing such a bad job of taking care of him and for starving him. I have tried so hard to take care of him. I have tried to be by his side through this whole thing. I wanted more than anything to take this all away but I couldn't. I wanted to ease his pain but it was too great. I have invested so much time into getting ready for this trip, per his wishes, and now he has turned my being away to make preparations as abandoning him. It crushes my soul! It was his last wish and I was just trying to make it happen for him. This is hard on me too. He said I am the lucky one because I get to live, I don't have to die and I told him that it is hard for me to have to live without him.

(((Max))) I am so sorry! Wishing you all comfort in your time of loss.

I am so sorry to you for having to feel this pain! It is the worst thing I have ever had to go through. It is so hard to watch the one you love suffer. I am going through it with you.