teriw

Adrian & Leslie, Just read your whole thread. I'm so sorry for the ups and downs. That's one of the worst things this nasty disease brings. Stay strong and keep your hope up. Your dad is lucky to have you both.

MC -- "Undertoad." I can see it. Big and fat and full of warts!

Hi Bobby, I have a good feeling about Beverly and her doctor team. Waiting and wondering is hard, but keep your faith up. The break might be just what she needs. You'll both definitely be in my thoughts and prayers.

Kelly, I'm so sorry to read your post, but I admire your desire for quality of life for your mom. Prayers for peace and comfort for your mom and your family.

Hi Nova, First off, love the picture! I'm so pleased that you got good results. My husband had carboplatin and rarely had any nausea (only during two of his cycles, but it didn't last too long). Hope this new mix is much better for Harry. I'm sorry about the doctor mix-up. But, glad you got it sorted. Enjoy the good news!

Thanks again -- I thought that must be the case, but you hear these horror stories. I appreciate the reassurance.

Ernie, Thank you so much for your quick reply. We just found this out today. This is the last thing anyone needs to think about when going through cancer treatment. I knew we'd get the answer from the company on Monday, but who wants to think about it all weekend? Bless you!

I'm hoping someone out there knows the law better than I do. My husband's company is switching insurance providers next month. I'm looking through their information folder and it talks about the pre-existing condition clause (waiting 6 months). But then it has some very vague language about reducing the waiting period if you can show that you were previously covered or had only a short gap in coverage. In his case, there is no gap in coverage. This is only happening because of the company switching providers. Do I need to worry about him losing medical benefits for 6 months? Are we protected by law when a company decides to switch carriers? I literally just hired on with a company last week to get additional insurance benefits, but I'm sure they have a waiting period for pre-existing stuff too (I haven't signed up for my insurance yet). Any info is greatly appreciated.

Just a quick update to let you all know that Bill FINALLY started radiation this afternoon (actually, this evening). He will have 17 sessions in all. Not sure how long it takes to work, but hoping and praying it does the job and does it quickly!

Wishing your mom a successful surgery and speedy recovery.

Dana, So sorry for what your family is going through. We're all thinking of you.

Hi Laurie, I haven't heard of that combo, but I've read some clinical trials that are combining Topotecan with other agents (just can't remember if I read about carbo). I'm praying for you both that this combo does the trick.

It was so heartwarming to read all of your responses -- thank you. I wasn't sure whether to post that here or write it in my personal journal. I just knew if I didn't get it out when I did, the moment would be lost to a new day and I didn't want it to be. And, of course, I knew you could all relate. (Wealthy, what happened to your post?)

Hi Randy, That bug in your head is telling you that you NEED to do this. Start it and keep us all posted in how we can help. Not only would it help those in need, it would raise awareness and instill some reality about the disease and those affected. Go for it!

You just keep giving your dad hope. It's got to be invaluable to him. Sounds like that's your role in his journey, and an critical one it is.

I'm with Nova. We don't do timeframes either. Both our doctors know that, and neither of them believes in offering them. Treatment and response is individual to each person (you can see that on this board). If your mom is willing to try the new treatment, hang onto to that 10%...then go read Kasey's recent post in the survivors forum ("More flowers"). All the best,

Sometimes it seems everything comes at once. Hang in there -- it will pass.

Thanks for sharing that inspiring news, Kasey. Wishing you many, many more flowers to come...

I wasn't sure where to post this. Inspirational? Maybe, but sometimes when I'm feeling my worst I avoid anything inspirational. Maybe you do too. Since my experience is that of a loved one (still can't call myself a "caregiver"), I decided to come here today. My husband will tell you that he's had it "easy" compared to others until recently. For the first five months or so of his treatment, he was able to continue life "almost" uninterrupted. Oh, don't get me wrong. There were changes. Big ones. But within that he still plastered and painted our living room, installed recessed lighting in the kitchen, laid bricks in our dining room, hung dry-wall, fixed stuff that broke, helped other people fix their stuff that broke, kept to a fairly regular social life with our friends and family, and started writing his book. We had talks -- lots of them. Sometimes they were spiritual and introspective, sometimes sad, scared, frustrated and highly emotional, and many times full of hope and determination. No matter what the feeling we knew life would never be the same, even if a miracle dropped in our lap that very second. And in some big ways, we didn't want it to be the same. The past couple months brought something new. With increasingly difficult and debilitating physical symptoms, numerous tests, waiting, and then results, it brought a dashing of hopes, a feeling of defeat, and a sort of "low pressure" area that just hung over us. We both fought to get our strength and hope back, but it's been an uphill battle. I finally hit my breaking point last week. I'm somewhat ashamed to say, I even indulged in a pity party. A big one. It only lasted one day, but that was enough. Luckily a wise woman on this board helped me see that it happens sometimes and it's okay (thanks Deb!). The small wonders? People say live for the day, live each moment to its fullest, and appreciate the little things. Sometimes when you finally recognize those little things, they have a big effect. Friday night we had plans with our good friends and neighbors. Our weekly poker night, which we had been unable to do for the past two or three weeks due to Bill feeling so poorly. These are the best friends -- the kind of friends who don't mind if you have to get up from the table and cough up blood in their bathroom! Sorry for the details, but it's true and it makes a difference. Suddenly, I see my old Bill back. Making jokes (really bad ones!), laughing, eyes lighting up -- just feeling "normal," if even for a few hours. We planned an early night, but we left at 11:30. Why stop there -- let's all go to the movies in the morning. Something we haven't done in ages. We go and it's fun. Bill even decides to go out and trim our trees in the afternoon sun. He probably over-did it a bit, but for him it was worth it. For the first time in weeks I actually feel "happy" when I awake Saturday morning. So happy that I finally make myself a spa appointment. You know, that one everyone keeps telling you to make. I walk in the spa today, smell the aroma of lavender, and completely indulge. Tomorrow is Monday and yet another doctor appointment. The symptoms aren't gone and neither is the cancer. But for a few hours Friday night, a couple hours Saturday morning, and two more this afternoon -- cancer took a back seat to life. I wish it would stay there, then fly out the window and get crushed by the car behind us. Maybe it will. But for now, I appreciate the small wonder of a few good -- no, make that great -- hours. And I appreciate the beauty of my hubby's smile. Wishing you all the same and more. Thanks for being here. Much love,

Thanks everyone. Yes, there is definitely compression. The MRI report specifically stated that. Just hoping he can get started with the radiation next week, but I know there's some juggling with the chemo schedule. Other than the symptoms, he's definitely feeling a bit better and being more active, so I'm very thankful for that. Thanks for all your support and suggestions... Teri

Thanks Judy. We brought that up twice to our doctor (once this week), and he keeps saying that in Bill's case -- because of the compression causing the SOB -- it won't really help. Only the tumor shrinking will. It seems weird to me. I was very surprised to know that you can't even get an emergency oxygen package without a prescription (I tried).

I think one of the keys is to acknowledge to your mom that you have no idea how she's actually feeling, but that you understand how difficult it might be to eat. Bill has said to me on many occassions that how he feels during this is unlike anything he's ever felt. And that when he feels like I'm pushing food on him, it just makes it worse. (He's picky in the best of times.) I know when we first started out, I would get really frustrated, which would make him feel bad. I just couldn't understand it. Like others have said, whatever she fancies, give it to her! Bill has all kinds of weird tastes at the oddest times. 11:00 the other night he suddenly craves a banana sandwich (yeah, he eats that normally too...). Fine...banana sandwich it is! I've also learned to not get too upset over "wasting" food. Because what sounds good one day might not sound good the next. It's just the way it is at the moment.

Great news about your mom. Hope she enjoys her getaway!

Thanks Jen. That's really sweet and thoughtful. I haven't been on here quite as often in recent days, but I did just post an update in sclc. In addition to doctor stuff and thinking of ways to fatten up Bill, my work is keeping me in over-drive at the moment! Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. It means a lot. I'm definitely praying for everyone on here too.

I can give a little update. We got the results of the thoracic MRI (front and back) yesterday. (An aside - Bill says this test now tops his "things to avoid" list.) It basically confirmed what we thought, which is that the main tumor is causing the shortness of breath (which I imagine is contributing to other physical problems as well). Doc also says it's almost certainly the source of the blood he's coughing up. Both of these symptoms have gotten worse over the past week or so. So we're on a slight change of plan, which is to add radiation to the mix to shrink the tumor. Back to the radio onc on Monday to get the details. Still continuing on the Topotecan. How he feels overall differs from day to day (and hour to hour). Although, I would say that he's definitely better than he was when I first created this post. I did check the sodium levels, and they were good. I forgot to ask about the CBK, but I know they take viles of blood every other week or more. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. I'll keep you all posted.