StephanieJane

hot chocolate! the idea of a beverage containing raw egg just grosses me out...I have never even tried it.

it seems that the smallest things bring me the greatest joy lately... my dad called this afternoon and sounded genuinely happy and excited. He had just eaten some spicy shrimp I bought him from one of his favorite restaurants, and he called to tell me that it was the most delicious thing he had eaten in three weeks! Keeping weight on him has been my biggest concern lately. My dad is a small man and not a big snacker, so I have to pester him quite a bit about eating more. Some of the foods he likes the most have not been appealing to him, so it is very encouraging to hear that he was so delighted by the shrimp (...even though I know he's not supposed to have spicy stuff). Also wanted to say thanks so much to all of you for being here. This site has been a tremendous source of hope and encouragement and peace to me in such an overwhelming situation. I don't know how I would get through all this stress without this board. Hope that everyone has a great week. You are all such a tremendous blessing to me. -stephanie

aww...I can relate. My two-year-old has been under the weather the last two days, and I think I caught a bit of it from her. That means that I haven't been over to visit my dad for two days...which stinks. So far he is feeling pretty good one week after chemo, and I don't want to take the risk of getting him sick...so I have just been calling frequently and keeping my distance until I feel better. It's tough, though...I want to be there...just not worth the risk. The masks are a good idea. I might pick some up tomorrow. Hope you're all better soon! -s.

We will be making sand tarts...and probably a vast assortment of other holiday treats. I started making candy a few years ago, so usually we whip up some chocolate treats to send out with the cookies.

thanks for all the comments. I think that a stage IV diagnosis feels like a death sentence at first, and it seems pointless to endure treatments that could bring such terrible side effects when there is essentially no chance for a cure, so initially my dad was not interested in chemo or radiation or anything...but thanks in large part to what I have read on this board, his opinion and mine have both been swayed. Regardless of the outcome, my dad will fight the good fight...and I have increasingly high hopes that these treatments will make a huge difference. My dad had the Decadron and the nurse told him he wouldn't be able to sleep that night...but he ended up falling asleep at 9:30 and sleeping all night in spite of the drugs, which is a good thing. Today when I visited him, he was feeling good and just taking it easy...though I did get on his case a little for not eating enough. My dad is a naturally thin person, and has lost ten pounds in a month...so he really can't afford to lose any more. But so far, he is doing really well. I am still pretty scared about the radiation, but we will cross that bridge next week. For now, he is feeling good and is really pleased that the pain in his leg has diminished already...so hooray for that. Thanks for the encouragement and for all of your amazing stories. It gives me tremendous peace to know that we are not alone on this terrible journey, and I am praying for each and every one of you. -stephanie.

My dad had his first chemo treatment on Tuesday. Original plan was for Carbo/Taxol/Avastin, but the onc dropped the Avastin because dad's primary tumor is close to his heart and major arteries, so there is concern about bleeding problems. The onc wants to start radiation on the lung tumor, as he is very worried that the tumor's growth could cut off blood supply to dad's heart. I am concerned about this...can't they do damage to his heart with the radiation? All in all, the chemo went great. Dad had no negative reactions, and today when I went over with his lunch he was up and dressed and feeling pretty good. I feel like this is probably the calm before the storm, and I worry about him living alone. I feel like I should be there...just in case. Just wanted to update and let you guys know what's going on. I am still scared, but hopeful that this chemo will be successful and that we can kick out some of this terrible cancer. I just hate it so much. Any info on radiation would be helpful. Thanks! -steph

I am so terribly sorry for your loss.

Hi Robin. I can relate to that feeling of fear and devastation...my dad was just diagnosed a few weeks ago, after seeming to be in very good health. I think that the first few days are the hardest part...all the waiting between appointments gives you the time and the opportunity to imagine the worst. I am glad that you have found this board, and I will echo what has already been said. Read the many encouraging stories of the survivors on here. There is so much HOPE here and so much encouragement...I have found it to be a tremendous source of comfort over these past weeks. I know what a frightening time this can be, and I will be sure to keep you in my prayers. -Stephanie

hi there. I am in central PA also...Lancaster. My dad was diagnosed two weeks ago, and it has been a rollercoaster of grief and sadness and frustration and worry...but I have found great hope through this site. If you are still looking for a buddy, please let me know. -stephanie

My dad was diagnosed less than two weeks ago with nsclc that has spread into his liver and his adrenal glands. He is only 53 years old and he is the only person in my family that I am close to...and I am trying really hard to be strong, but it is getting tougher and tougher. It seems like every new doctor brings more bad news...and I know the statistics and I know that the odds are against us here. I am trying to be strong. I am trying to remain positive. I am trying. I just can't seem to shake the thought that this might be the last Thanksgiving that we spend with my dad. This might be the last year that my dad gets to watch my daughter open her Christmas gifts. It just seems so unfair. I am just having a really hard time coping with all of this. My dad is just so awesome and such a big part of my life, and the thought of watching the strongest man I know grow weaker and sicker before my eyes is just more than I can bear. I do not want my dad to die. Not like this. We will meet with an oncologist for the first time on Wednesday...the day before Thanksgiving. I am anxious to know what he has to say...but I am also dreading it. If this is my dad's last holiday season, I want it to be a happy one. I just don't know how to make that happen under the circumstances.

hi again all...thanks so much for the encouragement and support. The biopsy results were positive for non small cell cancer, which means that is has spread from his left lung. The doctor said that he is not a candidate for surgery, and is reccommending chemotherapy and radiation. On Friday he will have a cat scan on his head and a bone scan, then next wednesday will be our first appointment with his oncologist. My dad had said after first learning of the cancer last week that if it was stage IV, he was not going to seek treatment. I have done a lot of reading about this disease over the past week, and my understanding is that his cancer is most likely stage IV due to the fact that it has spread. I think that his apprehension about chemo is based out of fear, and I understand that...if my dad is gravely ill and there is not a chance for a cure, I don't want him to spend the time that he has left being sick from treatments. On the other end of it, I am not prepared to lose my dad and I want him to do as much as he is able to fight this...but in the end I know that it is his decision to make and that his life, like all of ours, is in God's hands. It is just frightening. Thanks again for the well wishes and prayers. Any info on what it's like to undergo chemo or radiation would be really helpful. -s.

thanks for all the encouragement. This is such a scary disease and I have done a lot of research and reading online, and all of it scares the crap out of me. I will be sure to update as to my dad's condition as soon as we know more, and I will keep all of you in my daily prayers. -stephanie

Hi all. Your stories are inspiring and have brought me great hope in this really frightening time. I just wanted to take a minute to introduce myself. My dad, Rick, is 53. He went to his family doctor last Monday because he was feeling a little tired and short of breath. Doctor ordered a chest x-ray, whuch showed a large mass on his left lung. CAT Scan showed that it appears to have spread also to his liver and adrenal glands. Tomorrow we will re-visit the lung specialist and find out the results of his biopsy. It is a stressful and nerve-wracking time. Your prayers and any advice for us would be greatly appreciated. I will be sure to update once I know more. Thanks, -Stephanie