flabet

Shirley, that is beautiful. Thank you. I'm afraid after two months I am still very raw, but I know I will smooth out some day. I do pray daily for strength, peace and love and I know God answers all prayers in his own way. Thank you again for your soothing words. Betty

My husband's oncologist was alays very positive and upbeat and never once came out with a prognosis. He just kept trying and refused to give up. However, his primary care doctor was another matter. She did talk a lot about hospice and we needed to call the family in, etc. I did have to speak with her in the hall on one occasion and call her office on another occasion to let her know we wanted only positive comments around Doug and that we would appreciate it if she would refrain from any negative comments while in the same room with him. I told her it was okay to talk to me and the family about what she thought we should do, but not to Doug. Only hope and prayer and positive thinking can get a patient through this and only God knows when they have had enough and are ready to go. Please ask your doctor not to talk about negative aspects around your husband and if he continues to do so, find another doctor.

Laura, please tell your mom, or hopefully she's browsing and will see this herself. I'm getting really hard of hearing that, too. I know everyone means well and they don't know what else to say, but I know, and your mom knows, that time doesn't necessarily heal all wounds. We will get through this somehow and someday we may feel a little less raw, but the pain will be with us for a very long time. I can only pray for peace, strength and love for all of us and believe that God has a purpose for us and will show us the way out of this. My hope and prayers are with you and your mom. Betty

Hi, Florida ladies..I'm just a little futher down the road. I'm in Hollywood. Laura, I'm so sorry you are having nightmares. Hopefully, they will turn into good dreams soon. My dream, and Ann's and Grix's and J.C.'s were such wonderful happy times. I know I didn't want mine to end, but it did and I woke up feeling so peaceful. I hope you can have those dreams, too. But if your dreams are of your mom, whom I know is very sad right now, it may take a while to remember the good times and share them in your dreams. Are you Dr. Sam's step-daughter? If so, you must know how much all of us loved him and miss his wise counsel. I do hope for you happy dreams in the future. And I hope I have many more. Best wishes and happy dreams to all of us who have lost a loved one. Betty

Yes, Ann, I too have had 1 dream so far with Doug. It was wonderful and so realistic. I know what you mean. I loved spending the time with him and keep hoping he'll come back. Somehow, I think he will. For me, and for you, and for all of us, may we always have our dreams. Betty

I understand so much of how all of you are feeling. I miss Doug so much it is still very painful. Everytime someone asks me how I'm doing I choke up. I told my daughter and my friend that I know I am somewhat depressed, but if I died tomorrow I wouldn't really mind, because then I would be with Doug and nothing could be better than that. I live my life a day at a time and have no plans for any different future. I believe life will probably be long and lonely for me until I am with Doug again. I can only hope things will look brighter someday for all of us.

Gerbil Runner, I was not in anyway disagreeing with you. I agree with you that every single symptom or change in condition must be checked immediately. My point is that even though it may be aggressively treated immediately, it's still very difficult to control this disease. As a matter of fact, Doug did have a very good response to his first round of chemo, shrinkage of tumors and very close to remission, but unfortunately when the chemo quit working, there wasn't enough time for the new chemo to work before the tumors were out of control. I think liver metastasis is the toughest thing to deal with and I pray your mother doesn't have to fight it. Greg (bart ziggie) is an example of the devastation that occurs with liver metastasis. Please insist that your mother be vigilant and stay on top of any and all changes in her condition. This disease takes everything anyone has to fight it. My prayers are with you.

J.C., I am a 1-yr. breast cancer survivor. Believe me I know how you feel. I had a mastectomy in Dec., 02 and started reconstruction with a tissue expander implanted during my surgery. After going in for the requisite number of fills and being just about ready for the exchange surgey to have the implant placed, Doug was diagnosed with SCLC. All went on hold while we dealt with his illness. Yesterday, I finally went back to the plastic surgeon to see about moving on with my reconstruction, only to completely fall apart in his office. He was very kind and comforting, but I think it really scared him a little bit that perhaps I am not emotionally stable enough to proceed. Anyway, he has suggested that I give it another month and then we will schedule my surgery. I hope I will be able to control my emotions enough to convince him I am stable enough to do it then. I would really like to get this over with. Best of luck to you. I will be praying for you and know that you are not alone in this. We all must do our best to take it a day at a time, sometimes a minute at a time. Take a deep breath, relax, now---go for it!! God be with you. Flabet

While I agree with you that you have to watch SCLC very carefully and get every symptom checked ASAP, I think from what happened with my husband and what we are seeing here with other members of the SCLC board, Small Cell is just so aggressive that it is sometimes impossible to stay ahead of it. For a while, you are doing great and within a couple of weeks your condition deteriorates so rapidly that there's just not much that can be done and the end comes very quickly. This is certainly not always the case, but seems to ba a common occurance. Please do all you can and stay on top of every new symptom and best of luck to you and your mom. Flabet

I'm so sorry to report that my husband, Doug, died on 11/22/03. He did so well for a while, but his cancer spread very rapidly when his chemo stopped working. He never really had a chance with the new chemo. His oncologist said the liver tumor was massive. I don't know how much good I will be on here for a while, because I don't feel like I have much to offer anyone at the present time. I do appreciate all the support I received from this board and hope I can contribute more in the future. Thank you all for being a good sounding board. Flabet

Ginny, I understand how you feel. I appear to be handling everything very well on the surface, but inside I'm terribly sad. I refuse to let my honey see me sad, because that will only upset and scare him, but it is very hard to stay upbeat all the time. The only time I fall apart is when someone does something incredibly kind for us or when someone gives me a hug. I tend to keep myself to myself at work and at chuch because I know if I accept too much tenderness or affection from my friends or co-workers I will simply lose it. I have Doug with me to hold and love and enjoy right now and I won't do anything to upset him. Hang in there, Ginny, and together we'll all make it through. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

My husband's oncologist just keeps on trying new things with him and I can't imagine an oncoogist saying he will not be seeing the patient again. No matter what her condition. I think perhaps you need to find a new doctor.

Dean, either Ensure or Boost Shakes-mix 8-oz can Boost or Ensure with 1/2 cup of your favorite flavor of ice cream. I use vanilla Hi-Protein Boost, vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup for my husband. He loves it and gets around 250 calories this way. Try it.

My husband also extensive SCLC. His chem of carbo/VP-16 stopped working and last week he was switched to Topotecan. So far this week he does seem better. You might ask your oncologist about topotecan or CPT-11 for your mom.

That is my understanding also. My husband was told he could have a pneumonia vaccine while undergoing chemo, but no flu shot.