cindi o'h
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Posts posted by cindi o'h
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such good news. congratulations, Becky.
Cindi o'h
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Well, honestly!! You little sweetheart...I just want to squeeze you for your prayers and requests for prayers.... God love ya
Cindi o'h
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Miss Fay A.,
I haven't been around here too much, but I must say, whenever I see those beautiful bright pink flowers, ( are they bouganvillias?) I just need to see what you have written....
Dearest.
We all have our down days...I am so glad that you trust this group enough to let us know that you are having one.... and that you can be reminded that the world is not so ugly when you can feel your group love you back to life...
hang in there....this too shall pass... your sadness
is valid, but it shall pass.
Cindi o'h
Cindi o'h
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dear Charlotte,
My deepest sympathy goes out to you and to your family. May the angels hold you lightly and guide you through these difficult days...
Cindi o'h
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I am supposed to go in for an "interview" with the pulmonary surgeon tomorrow, and I want to know ahead of time what good questions to ask and what to expect so that I have an idea of what to expect...
The oncologist described something like VATS, but he was using lay terms which I have a hard time comprehending....( I look stupid, but I ain't no dummy)
So, this is going to be in the O.R. According to the onco doc, (in lay terminology) he is going to drain the pleural effusion and send the juice to pathology to be tested for cancer cells. Then he is going to put a camera in there and take a look around. But, I am thinking he is going to snip anything that looks "funny". The onco said that he was going to peek at the lymph nodes. (The hilar lymph nodes were described by the radiologist as enlarged). I think that the surgeon will wiggle his way over there and take a snip of them too...
So what do all of you think...??? I am, of course, trying to figure all of this out...
Last week, I just covered up my head when I read the radiology report. After I talked to the onc. with my 84 yo "adopted" mom at my side, I felt some sense of relief that the ball was going to get rolling....I like ACTION...
I wish I were on the operating table yesterday...this sitting around business gets me all antsy.
Blessing to you all.
Cindi
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Doug
All I can say is WOW
Honey, you are a cat with a few more than nine lives...
I am sure that your Lord has you doin' zactly what HE wants you to...
Welcome.
Cindi o'h
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Thanks for all the kind words of encouragement and especially prayers...
My onco was pretty unspecific when I went to see him and the most somber I have seen him yet. Dangit.
I am scheduled to meet with the surgeon on Tuesday. My onco suggested that it would be a procedure that could be done in and out right there in the clinic. But the surgeon's nurse left a message saying that it would be scheduled in the O.R.
I think it is going to be a VATS procedure, so a little more than what the onco led me to believe.
I guess the anwser is that I don't know when it will be scheduled yet. Soon, I hope. I have got so much on my plate right now that this is just bad timing!!
I am still quite brave. I am convinced that the cancer has done the multiplying thing that it is so known for. But, I am ready for whatever treatments that I need to do to keep kickin' for awhile longer. I'm usually pretty tough. I lost my rootin' crowd (siblings) at last round and they really helped a lot. But I have been abandoned by them. (It was too much/ inconvenient for them). Now that I don't have them anymore, I really need to gather up some more people to holler from the stands. EVERYBODY needs a cheering crowd whether they know it or not...
I will let you know when all of this happens...
Cindi
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so, Just got back from the oncologist. He took a look at the films and wants me to see the thoracic surgeon for a videoassisted thoracentesis...Now I making up this word...he told me that he would drain the effusion from my lung and put a camera in there and take a look around.... then they will put the fluid under the scope to see if there are any cancer cells in there...if there are, then we go back to chemo again in the same week... it's all or nothin' for me. Well, it has been a long time since I completed radiation....way over a year, but the onc. said the effusions and lymphadenopathy could still be a result of that....(yeah right) Well, at any rate, we don't know until we know, right?
So glad I can vent...Thank you,
Cindi
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loves it.
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for real...that is the first time in my life that i have heard it called
Hangy-down thing
we got lots more names for the beast here in Minnesota, but none quite so genteel as hangy down thing.
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Hi Melanie--Momma
You sure do have your hands full...goodness.
But you know somehow everything will work out....somehow.
It always does.
Those kids are pretty lucky to have you for their mom.
Hang in there and do the best you can and that is good enough.
Glad you are here.
cindi o'h
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1957
in JUST FOR FUN
Don, your reply to Franks's joke was funnier than Frank's joke....I got a good laugh...
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Thank you survivors...
i have had the most difficult time trying to find the right co-pilot of this ship. it scares me to move and i don't want to do more harm than good.
i don't disagree with a one o'ya. in fact i thank you for your wonderful validation...i think i will keep my ear to the ground and do some interviewing before i make the big move
thank you all. Only two more days until i see the onco for verification or denial..........wish me well, please...
Cindi o'h
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I had some kind of new angiogram test done earlier this Sept2. imaging with the latest ct capabilites. There was another blockage in one o f the arteries so i went in the hospital to get that opened up.
Today, my sensitive and caring internist calls and says she got a radiology report that says I have a pleual effusoin and enlarged lymph nodes and tumor changes....all this on an answering machine!!
When i found out that she was on call, i called he up to get details. She said she doesn't have the report in front of her and cannot understand why i would be calling her after the office is closed....
I have pages and pages of these sorts of things...so unprofessioal. So, tomorrow, I will try to locate the film and drag in front of the onc. and wait to see what he says....
I got a rush of adrenlin............
This wait and see business has it's way with me most every time..
cindi o'h
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I had some kind of new angiogram test done earlier this Sept2. imaging with the latest ct capabilites. There was another blockage in one o f the arteries so i went in the hospital to get that opened up.
Today, my sensitive and caring internist calls and says she got a radiology report that says I have a pleual effusoin and enlarged lymph nodes and tumor changes....all this on an answering machine!!
When i found out that she was on call, i called he up to get details. She said she doesn't have the report in front of her and cannot understand why i would be calling her after the office is closed....
I have pages and pages of these sorts of things...so unprofessioal. So, tomorrow, I will try to locate the film and drag in front of the onc. and wait to see what he says....
I got a rush of adrenlin............
This wait and see business has it's way with me most every time..
cindi o'h
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Oh Lisa
I am so sorry to hear that some of the air has left your balloon. It is so difficult to keep out spirits up while we wait for answers....doggonnit anyway.
I try to keep distracted and busy during times like these and extra pampering is sometimes useful.
I pray that everything will turn out all right for you.
I am glad that you posted this scary news.
Cindi O'H
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With me, I already had lost two young brothers to lung Ca. When I learned I had lung Ca, that was pretty scary for me. My sisters and close friends were in the pt. waiting area while I was having the mediastinoscopy and potential pneumonectomy (NOT). It was a good friend who came in to my face when I had awakened and said that the doctor was not able to remove my lung. I cried for the first time. Apparently, the surgeon was drilled by my sisters and forced to answer questions. He told them that I would not see 5 years. They did not reveal this to me, however. Which was fine. They told me instead that he was very hopeful about treatments. You see, they know me better than the doctors do. I did have an oncologist who came to my hospital room who I just remember as rather "cold". I was given his business card. I did request my records and he bluntly admitted in his notes that there was not much hope of survival. (I am glad I had the instinct right away NOT to pursue this doctor)
At my first onco. app't with the chosen doc, I was as nervous as he was. I needed to make some big decisions. So I asked him if my $$ would be better spent on a sunny, beautiful island and some margaritas or on some nasty chemo. I said, "If you were me, what would YOU do?" He said he would go for the treatment..."most people don't survive this stage and type of cancer, but SOME do."
Right then and there I knew in my gutt that I was going to be a part of that SOME. I sensed strongly throughout my treatment and office visits that he did not have the confidence in me that I had in myself. (I am a toughie) That relationship never did take hold and was toxic. I did appreciate his quote to me, however, and that statement gave me the ability to make up my competative mind that I was going to get through this.
I am not saying that it wasn't scary, and that it still isn't scary. I am saying that MOST of me believes that in five years, that I will have a smirk on my face.
My 37 yo brother was given a 5% chance of survival. He made it to six months. My 42 yo brother was told by a PA to get his affairs in order. Up until that time he was very happy and tolerating every procedure emotionally well. When she told him this, he then became depressed and died 3 weeks later. He died very sad and very scared.
With my 37 yo brother, his siblings were his next of kin. At dx, he was so ill, intubated, and almost in a coma. We needed to make decisions as a group on his behalf. The doctors told us that he would not make it very long but they wanted to give him treatment to give him just a little more time. At that time, he was so very ill, that I just wanted to let him go....I am glad that we decided on treatment. Those last four months of his life, I would not trade for anything. And he was happy, very happy too. The nurses absolutely loved him. And he proposed marriage to countless nurses...(he was so funny).
The onco. advised us not to tell him his prognosis unless he asked. He never did ask. The onco. told us that if he wanted to know and if he were ready to hear the answer, then he would ask and then we should tell him, but not until. This onco. was a wise man in his early thirties.
Hope all of these notes from everyone helps you. I have read so many of everyone's experiences, that it helps me also.
Good question. Thank you. Cindi o'h
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Hi James,
I am glad that you are here. This is a time for no one to be alone. It is very normal to be scared. It is a good thing to talk about your fears if you can. Cry. Find your good friends and talk and get some good hugs. Breathe deeply and often. You can get through this. And you can be a big help to your mom and your little sister. Your sister needs to be with her best friends now too. A sleepover would probably be good for her. I can tell you are a very courageous young man. You can do this, but it best not to do it alone. Bless you and your Mom. Cindi o'h
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well hello courageous one....
I am so glad that you posted. I am also glad that you are reaching out for help. It is so easy to stay in denial. One of my brothers also had SCLC. I have NSCLC. My brother did not want to know his prognosis. However, he was so very, very sick at his diagnosis. He never did ask and the doctor told us, his siblings, that he should not be told until he asked. He never did ask, so we never told him. Which was a good thing. There was a PA who decided to "Pop" it to him and warn him to get his affairs in order. He suddenly became very sad, depressed and despondent. I was pretty angry at her for doing that. Your mom sounds like she is taking as good of care of herself as she can. I agree that we all have THIS day. This day is the gift. What the future holds for any of us, only God knows. It is very scary and challenging to watch someone we love be sick and scary not to know if we will have them with us for another day. I admire your love for your mom and your willingness to be closer to her. Just love the dickens out of her. I am one in the belief that this time can be one of the best for a dedicated family member. My dad said that the two most important times in a persons life are birth and death. They are both so very spiritual. It was a gift for me to be a part of my brother's journey to death. I was able to be a part of something that was huger than me. I was able to hold his hand and scratch him and love him up. And he let me. He liked it when I cried with him. He said that it made him know that I loved him. I am so happy to have the memories of loading him and his oxygen tanks in my car for afternoons of fishing. Those times spent with him and the giving I gave, I got back ten fold. Cherish your Mom and know that this journey is just that....stay in touch. We all need someone to rely on. That is a fact. Cindi O'H
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I haven't read anything from anyone re: this subject. I am wondering if anyone has any experience with selling your life insurance policy. It is my understanding that there is a way to collect on a percentage of the face value of your life insurance policy so that you can use the $$ while you are still living. I applied with one company, but was turned down....I am 22 months out from dx and the chances of my imminent death have decreased, they say with time. They say according to their MD's who did the underwriting that I have a 20-40% chance of surviving to five years. Anyway, I plan to apply with other companies. But, I have read where some companies are unethical and to watch out for them. But I don't know what to watch out for. Anyone with any experience here? I don't have any post mortem obligations, but I have plenty of living obligations. Thank you all. Cindi O'H Stage lllb 11/02. NSCLC
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I haven't read anything from anyone re: this subject. I am wondering if anyone has any experience with selling your life insurance policy. It is my understanding that there is a way to collect on a percentage of the face value of your life insurance policy so that you can use the $$ while you are still living. I applied with one company, but was turned down....I am 22 months out from dx and the chances of my imminent death have decreased, they say with time. They say according to their MD's who did the underwriting that I have a 20-40% chance of surviving to five years. Anyway, I plan to apply with other companies. But, I have read where some companies are unethical and to watch out for them. But I don't know what to watch out for. Anyone with any experience here? I don't have any post mortem obligations, but I have plenty of living obligations. Thank you all. Cindi O'H Stage lllb 11/02. NSCLC
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Elaine noticed I was on the board and encouraged me to post an update, so here goes....
I am doing well, cancer-wise. Doctor says all that is left of this stage lllb is seemingly scar tissue on my poor lung!!! He says that my treatment has been remarkable and that I handled the aggessive chemo and rad remarkably well. Oh yes. I am still nervous about recurrence. I would say it is not "a done deal"....but the future will determine that. I am 22 months out from diagnosis, so I am doing well. I just have other health issues to get straightenend out now. I am stuggling with high rheumatoid factors, sed rates, thyroid, infections, asthma, and pneumonitis....plus I have gained about fifty pounds since cancer treatment began, so I am carrying around this big ole wash tub where my a** should be!! Better a washtub than active LC.... God bless every single one of you and thanking all of you and all of the world who have said their prayers and mentioned my name. Cindi
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Oh my gosh
You all are so wonderful. I am glad that I found you!!
It is a miserable place... to be misunderstood...but, here i can find understanding and compassion...the same I have for you.
Many blessings
And I hope to get to know you all better...
love, Cindi O'H
my blood is green; Happy St. Pat's
FINALLY !!!
in NSCLC GROUP
Posted
lisa,
I have no experience; healing thoughts for your husband and guidance for the team who takes care of Ahmed.
Cindi