ronvrens

Unfortunatly it will be almost impossible to fully adopt her now as the wild life laws actually prohibit the public from keeping wild animals in captivity. The reason for this is that all wild animals are qute when small and if you are not absolutly dedicated and willing to sacrifice your own freedom then a wild animal can be a burden and become mistreated. My jackal was a full time job to look after and demanded a lot of attention. My wife and I gave up a lot just so one of us would be there to look after her. With my present job of moving around, maybe even into the northern areas of Africa it will not be possible. Each time I see Miya my heart breaks because I know I would love to have her. Just being there to donate towards her keep and visiting will have to be all I can give her at present. I am so touched that you all are so concerned about her. Thanks Ronnie

This is the first and only photo I have of Miya. When I went to see her at the centre she was scared but she wanted to see me. She ran past, looked at me and then went and hid. She did this a number of times. She has grown so big and is starting to get her markings.

5 months have passed since Pat so suddenly passed away. I have been battleing to come to grips with the severe grief. There are periods when I am not alone that the remembering is not so acute but during the lonely times it just gets so hard remembering her. Its coming up to the Christmas period and Pat would have been hard at work with all her little arrangements for the festive season. I am not a person that likes all the celebrations but she loved getting everything ready and buying presents. Theese are the things going through my mind now as the time draws near to go on holiday. Luckily my daughters will be with me most of the time so that will help. Will post again Ronnie

The Family

Just one to show you all

Well I'm back home in one piece and non the worse for wear. The heart is ticking as though nothing untoward happened. Yesterday morning we arrived at the flight venue which is part of a very busy airport just outside Johannesburg namely Rand Airport. We were met by a very charming security lady who admitted us onto the air side. As we arrived an old Harvard was starting up and then it took off. I met the hanger staff who showed us around and "the plane". Now it does not look like much but you can see its meant for stunt bussiness. The plane was pushed onto the apron and checked for flight. The harvard landed after about 30 minutes and the pilot and passenger got out. The passenger was elderly and the pilot later informed me that he was 79 years old. Anyway the same pilot was to fly my aircraft as well. We got the necessary paperwork done and did a casual brief of what the flight would be like. I got a helmet complete with earphones and the pilot informed me that he had to wear a parachute but there was no room for me to wear one, looks like the passenger is expendable. We kitted up and I got into the aircraft and was securely fastened in and the helmet put on. The pilot put on HIS PARACHUTE and helmet, strapped himself in and then did t he necessary things before starting the engine. The canopy was closed and we started taxiing to the start of the runway. We lifted off and gained height. As there was a lot of cloud about the pilot had to look for a clear area where we could start the maneuvers. We arrived at a suitable point and he said here we go left and the fun started. There were a series of violent turns and then it was straight up until the aircraft stalled then it was straight down with a sharp pull out some barrel rolls and a few that I cant name. Now for the sensations, you are pulling 5-6 G's then you are weightless hanging in the harness. To prevent the blood rushing to the legs and arms and causing a possible black out all the muscles must be tensed especially the stomach. All too soon it was time to return to the airport. We did a low level flight back and landed safely welcomed by my wonderful family. After disembarking and thanks all round we went to a restuarant at the main airport building and spent most of the afternoon there. This weekend has left me very happy and a lot more relaxed. I feel as if there is some closure as this present was from the heart of the family and Pat was part of it. I am sure she was there with me all the way and enjoying it as much as I did. She was always very excited when she gave me any present, I am planning another flight and I think this time it will e better as I know whats going to happen and the pilot might not have to be worried that I wont be able to take the forces on the body Hope you all enjoyed the story Ronnie

Last night suddenly I started thinking about events from the last nightPat was in hospital, the phone call informing me of her passingand my rush to the hospital. Saying goodbye and holding her for the last time. The funeral arrangements and the funeral and then the last goodbye. The whole saga played itself out in my mind as if it was just happening. It being so realistic left me in a state of shock and utter sadness. There have been many times when I would remember a certain event but never this much at one time. Coincidentaly it could be that it was Thursday being the day before she passed away as every Thursday and Friday do bring back memories. Today I feel a sense of grief and sadness but I am coping. I will shortly be leaving for Johannesburg and tomorrow will be enjoying the birthday present that was Pat and the childrens idea. Thanks for listening Ronnie

I arrived home on Thursday 28 October for the pay long weekend. The previous week was very stressful due to a serious injury on site as well as a major audit by the client. I arrived at about 4 pm and did a quick trip to the shops to get some supplies. year. should but theres not much to do until a new drug is on the market early nexthe heart is not behaving as it Went to bed early. Friday had to have some blood tests done as I had an appointment with the cardiologist in the afternoon. This is when the lonliness hit me as I was doing everything alone with no one to share anything. I did a lot of preparation work in the kitchen for the revamp but its going slowly and it hard work chopping off the old wall tiles. Had to demolish the old cupboards and find temporary storage for the contents. Lots of memories good and bad while sorting through everything. This was Pats domain and its hard to decide what to keep and what to discard. Saw the doctor in the afternoon and the heart is a bit out of kilter again. Not much can be done until a new drug comes onto the market early next year. Worked late Friday and was up early Saturday to clean up the kitchen. Saturday afternoon spent with a very good friend. His wife is away and so the two of us barbequed and the watched the final of a series of rugby games. It was special as our Natal team The Sharks beat the Cape Western Province tean well and truly. Sunday went to church in the morning. I went to the wildlife rehabilitation centre to see the baby jackal. It was their open day and there were quite a few visitors which included a number fro the National Sea Rescue Institute. It was good to see them as I was a member for many years. I did not see the jackal which has 6 other companions as they were hiding away from the noise. I have arranged another visit at a quieter time. I spent the rest of the day working. Went visiting last night. An old couple Ive known for many years. This morning, Monday, I will do some work in the kitchen, clean up and then go and have a haircut. I have to see the other specialist about my thyroid this afternoon. All in all a busy weekend. There were a lot of very emotional times as I found little things of Pat. Found some things she had started and not finished and then just the memories and the sense of great loss. We went everywhere together and its very difficult being alone and also seeing other people happy together. Its back to work tomorrow and the on Friday I go to Johannesburg to do that Pitts Special Flight. There will be quite a number of family and friende to see and support me. That the news Thanks Ronnie

Just a little bit about jackals Jackals are found in the rural areas of our country especially the farm areas. As I work mainly in the rural areas jackals are often heard but not seen. Although jackals eat mainly small animals like mice and lizards they will also hunt birds and even an odd lamb thus they are not always liked by the farmers. In really bad times they will even eat fruit and berries. Jackals are known to steal scraps of meat even while lions are busy at a kill eating. Jackals are very intelegent and are also cunning and never seem to forget. They pair for life and the female is normally the dominant animal. I just love jackals.

When I am at home in Durban I have lots to do what with reovating the house etc. I am also very handy with electronics and can repair most things that give trouble. The reason for not really having any hobby here at Ladysmith is that we do not have a lot of time at home except Sundays. I have also found that when I really feel so bad I dont really feel like doing anything. Knitting would not be for me. My wife was an exceptional knitter, embroiderer and loved doing crochet work especially beaded doilies. I think that when we have our Christmas break and I have time to rest and also we have decided to scatter her ashes on the beach things might be better. Thanks for listening Ronnie

Its been a very lonely week as I have been busy with numerous small jobs for work. I havent had much time to be with my work people as I have been travelling and sorting out problems. When I get home I am tired and Pieter my housemate goes to bed early. I have got so much time to think of Pat and how much I miss her. This weekend is particularly bad as I normally try and go away but have nowhere to go . Next Thursday is the start of the long pay weekend and I will be going home to Durban to continue with the kitchen renovation. The following weekend I will be going to Johannesburg to enjoy my birthday present of the 30 minute flight in the Pitts special aerobatic plane. When I have people around me I am distracted from the lonliness but it never leaves me completely Thanks for understanding Ronnie

Its four months since Pat so suddenly left without a final goodbye. There have been good days and a lot of bad ones. Last week I worked night shift and had long periods of lonliness when there were no other people around. This gave me lots of time to think about Pat. There are a lot of good memories but the ones that come back to haunt me is when I think about the disease and how quickly she deteriorated and was so suddenly taken away. We had so many plans for our golden years but all that was wiped out by the cancer. I spent the weekend at our home carrying on with the kitchen renovation. I sorted through some of our belongings and found a beautiful photo of Pat as a young girl, radiant and beautiful. There are so many things that bring back memories and causes extreme longing for her love and companionship. I also sorted out all the jackals things. More sadness. I try to be positive and think of the good times but there are still many dark times that just dont go away. Thanks for being there. Ronnie

Yesterday 16 Oct I visited the baby jackal at the animal rehabiltation centre. In the two weeks since I first held her she has grown. They do not like too much human contact as it takes longer to get them to be ready for release. This little girl already has the typical female jackal attitude. She just lay there and stared at me almost challenging me to touch her. Female jackals are normally the dominant of the species. I have now sort of adopted her and will be visiting regularly and also donating towards her upkeep. I was also informed that they were getting some more jackals whose mother had been killed by a farmer. I hope to have a photo next time and I will keep you all updated Ronnie

Hello all.My younger sister seems to suffer all the same things as my Mom did. Arthritis and all that goes with it The medication suppresses her immune system and she gets frequent bouts of chest infections including pneumonia as is the case this time. My health is good at present with the heart settled down. Yes the weekend was very good but the coming home was not. I am working night shift this week and the weather is terrible with severe mist and fine rain. Thanks for being there to listen Ronnie

I have just spent a weekend in Johannesburg with my two daughters and the rest of my family To say the least it was a very lovely weekend and I really enjoyed it. I left Ladysmith on Saturday morning at 04h00 and arrived at about 08h00. Its a drive of about 400 kms. On arrival the two girls were both busy with some form of charity work which included Christmas hamper boxes for orphans, a fun walk for cancer. We did a bit of shopping and the elder daughter and myself went an visited my eldest sister. Saturday evening we had a barbequeand then to bed. Sunday we visited my younger sister who is not well and on arrival I was shocked to see how ill se really was. I persuaded her to go to hospital and her son took her. We all went for a buffet lunch and aftre it was time to return home for me. I arrived in Ladysmith at 20hoo very tired but happy . I really enjoyed the weekend with the family and my daughters were so happy I came to visit them. Next weekend I have to go home and check to see that alls ok and the following Sunday I will be returning to celebrate my eldest sisters mother in laws 90 birthday. So it a busy monthg for me. Thats all for now Ronnie

Last night I had a 2 week old baby jackal in my arms. Her mother had been killed on the road and she was picked up and brought to my home. I fell in love with this little ball of fluffy fur. I soon realised that it would not be practical for me to try and raise her as she still needed milk a number of times a day and she would not be allowed on the construction site. She was taken to a wildlife rehabilitation centre where she will be raised and released back into the wild. Luckily the centre is close to my home in Durban so I will go and see her and follow her progress. A sad but impractical situation Ronnie

Thanks everyone. This condition is to be expected and psycological or emotional events could trigger it. At present I feel fine. Once the heart is in rythm the I dont have a problem. Since I returned from hospital I have really been very lonely as I am missing Pat and the little jackal. The jackal kept me busy all day and part of the night. I was always doing something for her or getting food ready. This helped to think of other things and not just of Pat. Now I have no one to help me in my mourning. Pat and I loved that little girl so much and I realise for some time that she could go at any time it has been a terrific shock. Next week I go back to Ladysmith and work. Nights will be lonely I know. It just seems so unfair to loose two loved ones so soon. Thanks for being there Ronnie

On monday I went to see my cardioogist because I had a heart that was seriously beating out or rythm. I saw him last thursday and the heart was fine but I had had a few episodes of palpitations the last two weeks. You see I had a triple bypass in 1998 but apart from a self inflicted bout of irregular heartbeats have been very well. Well he took a look at the rythm and we discussed treatment and he sugested that I go into hospital for a day to sort out the atrial fibrilation. I was admitted to the ICU and treatment stat Well the drug route did not worrted. and Tuesday afternoon I sugested that he do a cardioversion. Yesterday morning I was sedated and woke up with a heart that was once again in rythm. It was also found that my thyroid was faulty and I had a radiation isotope scan done. The result is that the thyroid is not functioning and it could be from some sort of viral infection. The doctor gave me a month and then a check up to see if there is any improvement. I arrived home at about 1430. The boss phoned and said I could have the rest of the week off and start work on Monday so I can rest, as if I havent rested enough in hospital. Will post again later Ronnie

Apart from the extreme sadness from losing my jackal the weekend was very busy. My daughter Brenda arrived at 3,30 on Friday morning. After the sad matter of taking Jacky to the vet and then burying her in the front garden we started the promised task of renovating the kitchen. Two walls were clad in pine panneling which made the kitchen a bit dark. After removal of the panelling from one wall we discovered that there were tiles halway up the wall. These had to be removed to make way for the new ones. Well the old builders new how to fix tiles. It has taken 2 daya and we only managed to do half the wall. Brenda left today to go home to Johannesburg about a 6 hour trip but at 8 pm had still not got home due to heavy traffic. Tomorrow I return alone to Ladysmith to go back to work. I will miss all the attention I had to give to look after Jacky. Thanks for listening Ronnie

Thanks to everyone. To get a new pet at the moment will not be easy. Old Jacky was a sedate girl that didnt mind sleeping most of the day and having a romp in the early evening. I would love a puppy but it would need a lot of stimulation and active time. Maybe when we complete this job and move it might be possible. The total lonliness now will not be easy. Ronnie

This morning Jacky my pet jackal went to join Pat. When we arrived home on Wednesday she already did not seem well.Last night she could not walk properly and could not get into her bedding area and had to sleep next to the bed on a blanket. This morning she could not get up and was in pain. I took her to the vet and he seemed to think old age and perhaps failed kidneys might be the reason . I made the decision that I would never let her suffer as it seemed this morning and she was helped into jackal heaven by the vet. This is not what I needed at the present time as I have had a few bad days remembering Pat. I am once again heartbroken and now I have no one for companionship. I am sure she is in heaven with Pat and romping in the beautiful fields. Ronnie

Well our pay weekend has arrived and I will be going home to Durban. I am really looking forward to it as after all it is the place where Pat and I spent most of our married life together. I will be doing some necessary maintenance and improvements. My daughter Brenda will be arriving on Friday morning and will leave again on Sunday afternoon. Its been a month of mixed feelings and emotions.and I need to get away from the house in Ladysmith. The Jackal will have to have a slight sedation session again and I hope she will be a bit better than last time. Will post again and tell you all of my weekend Ronnie

Tonight three months ago Pat passed away so suddenly. No last goodbye no last kiss as we always did when we parted. My world shattered and each piece represents a memory of our life together. Each day is painful as my thoughts are constantly of her. Longing for the companionship we had. I know that I have to face every day without her and be strong. I also know that time does heal wounds but not remove them completly. Unconditional love is such a strong bond that is almost impossible to break hence the longing and sadness. Thank you to everyone for all the support and advice. I dont know what I would have done without all of you Ronnie

Jackals are oportunistic animals and will attempt to dominate any other living thing. Harry our cat was just a bit older than Jacky and did not take any nonsense from her and she knew it, so they were actually good friends. The hierarchy in our home was as follows. I am the alpha male, Jacky is the alpha female and Pat was her subordinate as she had shown fear in the begining. When Pat passed away the jackal was very upset as she had no one to bully. She has since accepted that Pat is no longer there and we have a good love/ hate relationship. After all she is still a wild although domesticated animal. I love her to bits and it is having her that has helped me in these difficult times. Ronnie

Hey thanks for the reply. I know its still recent and hurts but it doesnt go away very easily. I do not know where I will be going fro here as that construction for you. I think I will only be finishing off in the early part of next year and I hope something comes up nearer home. The jackal was not very impressed with me as she smelled the house on some of the things I brought back but I think we are friends again. Also just to mention that we also had a cat and the two of them are the same age and got on fairly well. The cat unfortunatlky had to go with my daughter and has also settled down to a new life. Thanks and have a perfect day.