ronvrens

Week 1 has passed since my wife Pat passed away. Can it get any harder. So many emotions. The questions people ask just cause more pains. What are you going to do with the huse. It's not a house it's my home! Are you coping. Can't they see the tears. What are you going to do now. I dont know but I must go back to work and try to pick up the pieces. I have a special pet, a jackal that is very old and does not adapt easily. She must go with me. These are all things going round in my head all day. My son who works in Dubai is with me at present but he goes home to his wife and daughter next week then I am alone. This is when the worst will begin. Hope I can cope. I have read some of the other postings and am happy to see tha there is only genuine concern and advice. I know its me that must do the grieving and cope and it helps just to let others who have had the same experiences know how I feel Thank you for caring Ronnie

My wife Pat lost her struggle with lung cancer and passed away on Friday 18 June 2010. She bravely fought both the cancer and the effects of chemo until her body could take no more. I was with her until late on Thursday when I made her comfortable before she insisted I leave. Shortly after midnight the hospital informed me of her passing Pat I will never forget you, your unselfish love for me and the children will be cherished forever. Your Heartbroken Husband of 38 years Ronnie Rest In Peace

Michelle my daughter. Thank you and Brenda and Neil for being the wonderful children you are. Thank you for being with me in this sad time. I have lost my wife and your mother. I know that you are hurting as I am. I love you.

I would like to thank everyone for the support and kindness shown during Pats short illness. We are all in the same situation only some end more tragically than others. The funeral was yesterday and today I said a final goodbye. Pat is a person I will never forget and during her illness I learnt how to love her all over again.

The end of my world. Pat died this morning . The last fe days her bone marrow reached the end and her platelets and white cell count drop to zero. Yesterday started having severe diffiulty in breathing that did not respond. I left hospital at 22h30 and the news of her passing came just after midnight. I will post more when I am able

Hi there everyone. Thanks for allthe positive comments and wishes Just as we were cruising the highway of recovery there appeared this massive pothole. Pat was doing so well and I left home to go o work on Monday at 04h00. About 12h00 I recieved a call that she was feeling sick with pins and needles in the hands. She had also lost her voice. On Tuesday she was taken for blood tests and to see the doctor. Her magnesuim and calcium levels were down but not critically. On Wednesday she was worse and the doctor admtted her to hospital. I rushed home on Wednesday afternoon and when I saw her I noticed that she looked ill. On questioning her it was sort of evident that she also had flu. Since then she hasnt really progressed too well and is still plagued by the post nasal drip that causes her to becoe nauseses. On Friday evening she was given 2 units of red blood cells. This has raised her HB level but today she was moved to isolation because of falling white cells and the chest infection. She has also got those auful sores in her mouth which is painful and makes everything taste bad. I am hoping that this setback will not be as harsh as before and that she will soon be out of hospital and at home soon.

Hi there all you wonderful people. Thanks for the information and wonderful support. I spoke to Pat last night and what seems to be the problem is the magnesuim deficiency as well as the blood counts low. She is also slightly dehydrated which should be easy to corrct. She started taking magnesuim yesterday late and will see the doctor again this morning and a decision is to be taken as to hat the next step might be. She is also suffering from a slight loss of voice. The doctor doesnt seem to be too concerned. Hope its not an infection as everyone seems to have colds and flu at present

Small setback. Pat phoned me last night said she had pins and needles feeling in her hands. This was the case last time she went into hospital. This morning went to the doctor and was found short of magnesuim. Felt a bit nauseas and took the meds. Is now resting and I will check a bit later. Not easy being so far from home.

Well today its 2 weeks at home and progress is in leaps and bounds. at had her third chemo session on Thursday 3 June. Another 5 hours. I am glad that I could accompany her thanks to the generosity of my company. The two chemos that they use and Alimta and Cisplat. Due to the severe reaction the previous time they reduced the dose. This was also due to her lowered platelet count and the fact that the renal function has deteriorated since the last test a month ago. The good news is that there was only one episode of nuasea which was promptly dealt with. The new anti emetic is Zofer and it seems to work. One problem encountered was that her feet and ankles swelled up due to the heavy load of fluids during the chemo session. The didnt want to give her lasix as the trip home is a bit long and they didnt want to cause distress. I administered lasix for 3 days and lo and behold this morning no swelling I have returned to work but am in constant touch with her during the day

Miricles do happen. Thirteen days out of hospital and Pat is getting stronger every day. Chemo session number 3 was on thursday and up until today only one case of mild nausea. Got some new anti nausea medicine and gave her one tablet and so far no more nauses. She only has a nap during the day now and is up and in the lounge watching TV and knitting. She has a full breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast and today had a barbeque with the family and a friend. The lung is still dry and the breathing getting easier. We went to see the Soccer World Cup lights in the city tonight and she was off the oxygen for 2 hours. As long as she does not exert herself too much she gets along.

Yesterday my wife Pat had spent a full week at home. The troublesome lung dry and no need for drainage. Eating is still going slowly and a bit of a battle to walk but she is doing her best.

A landmark today as it's one week at home without the many visits to the hospital. Pat is feeling much better and another miricle is that the lung seems dry. It would already have had to be draind after 5 days. She sat up in the lounge and watched part of her favourite program. She even had a full breakfast of egg, bacon and toast. She asked for a steak and kidney pie for lunch and ate half. The coughing has subsided due to anti allergy tablets, yes its fall here and lots of dust and pollen and she does have some allergies. I am still working on the full story and details. Not much time as caring for her and the house is a full time job. I will be going back to work tomorrow (Tuesday ) which is 3 hours away. I just hope that the other care givver does not mess up again. Thats it for now Thanks once again Ronnie

Wow. Thanks for the replies. All helpis most welcome. I am busy puting the whole story of my wifes cancer together. Should be ready soon. At present the biggest problem is that although its been a good week with almost no nausea or pain she does nt want to get up and walk around. She needs the excercise as her body is quite wasted due to th time spent in hopital. Eating is another problem as she only eats a small portion and only when pressure is put on her. At the moment while things are looking good she needs the foo and excercise. Are there any suggestions or help please

Hi Im Ronnie van Rensburg from Durban South Africa. My wife Pat was diagnosed with cancer of the spine on the 10 March 2010. The reason for seeking medical help was due to severe back pain. As my wife had had several back operations and was in constant pain we only became concered when the pain could not be relieved no matter what pain killers were used. We went to see thee neuro surgeon that had performed some of the spinal operations and he arranged for an emergency MRI scan which disclosed the cancer. After a full body scan further cancer was found in the right lung and the right adrenal gland. After 10 radiation treatments the back is now pain free but due to having contacted pneumonia the lung is not doing well. She has had two chemo treatments both of which were most unpleasant with the nausea and the present blood problems. As this is the first time I have been involved with any form of cancer and because its my wife I have found it hard to cope at tmes. Both my wife and myself are trying our best to be positive.