S. Jane

What do you do when you know your parents need you more frequently than you can get to their house? My Dad has SCLC, limited stage, was in remission and is now completing PCI. He is tired of the house, yard, and the work associated with it. My Mom (78) has COPD and emphysema. I found an senior housing complex that has apartments, assisted living, and nursing home 5 minutes from me, there are also senior condos, and I offered to build an addition. My Dad would like to move. He has also told me he would like my Mom to be near me when he dies. My Mom absolutely doesn't want to live in my town, or an apartment, if she were to buy a house it would have to have oil heat and stained woodwork. She has no close friends, but enjoys activities such as sewing class, dance class, and her woman's club. She toys with moving to a new town that has people from her dance class living there. These people, while nice, are not supportive in the practical sense and in the 10 years she has been involved in these activities, have never seen her outside of the class/group. I am 45 minutes away from them. I tell her she would not have to give up all her activities, that I would even drive her to some if she needed. I also suggested that they move while Dad is in remission so they could add to their life with new people and social clubs. That way Mom might have some peer support when it gets tough for Dad (who is the more social one). I guess I pushed too much, because now Mom says the day she moves to my town is the day she won't be able to take care of herself. I know I need to step back, especially everytime it is brought up, my Dad and her have words. Anyone with a sick parent have this kind of problem? I must lack understanding of what my Mom is going through to have her totally reject the idea of living near me. I must admit, it hurts.

I'm sorry you have to go through this with your Mom. Have you gotten a second opinion? Are the doctors making her comfortable? It sure is hard to see a parent suffer. Jane

Ginny, it does feel as good as it can to share with others what sadness is in your life and feel the support. I hope you receive strength in the caring comments you get here. I pray the new med helps the Duke and that your sister and friend receive the help they need. Jane

Hi Star, My Dad (79) also has SCLC and has completed his chemo treatments and achieved complete remission. I know it will come back, but after a rough battle, he is having some good days now. When Dad couldn't handle the chemo, they decreased the amount given to 75% and that worked ok with him. Your Dad had a tough time after the first chemo, perhaps your oncologist can do something - ie., change drugs, lower dosage etc. It sounds like your Dad needs you as an advocate. I pushed my Dad very hard to get a second opinion, because he wasn't going to a top place or a lung cancer specialist. He was reluctant, but went. If he didn't I was actually going to do it online, sending all the information and having an expert (Dana Farber) evaluate it. My friend who is an ER doctor said "get two, three opinions, be as aggressive as you can". The treatment ended up being with the doctor my Dad has trusted for 10 years, and right now for him I feel like it is a good choice. At times I have provided my Dad with questions that I felt needed answering, but in general, I have to say the doctor has answered the questions before asked. It does seem troubling that your Dad's doctor wasn't clear to your Dad. I don't know if this is typical or not, just thought I'd let you know our experience. Gosh, rambled didn't I? Hope I helped. Jane

Hi Jessnick, Right now, maybe the best thing you can do to help your mom is to relieve her from some of the things she doesn't have the energy for. You are at the beginning of the battle, you have a great start to be a supportive person. Everything else, the emotional and physical support you can offer, will come in time, and the wonderful people here can help you figure it out. Step at a time, and try not to get overwhelmed. This is so much to deal with right now. Do you have siblings that you can share this with? A Dad? Keep posting and we can help you. Jane

I ache for you Ginny. That is a lot of heartache at once. I'm sorry you have to be the strong one, but hopefully with all these well wishes and prayers being sent up, it will help you. Please update us. Praying for good news. Jane

My Dad is 79 and was treated quickly and as aggressive as he could take. He has completed radiation and chemo and is now having PCI. They did have to take down his chemo dose to 75% because he couldn't take it, but that treatment still got him into remission. It is the doctor who set it all up. We don't have to have a doctor that isn't as aggressive as we want. Doom and gloom is an awful way to be treated Jane

Hurrah! Jane

Sounds like you finally found the right person for you. I hope you are treated better. Jane

After you all have gone through the first series of chemo/radiation/surgery treatment for your cancer, what time period and type of tests were you given? Specifically, I'm wondering how often PET, CAT, X-rays, MRI's etc. are given. Was it insurance that decided the after care? Is there safety issues with having too many? Thanks, Jane

My Aunt died of SCLC last year. While my cousin was driving 30 minutes to my aunts house for the funeral, there was a song my cousin hadn't heard before on the radio. The artist sang ".......remember me" and the radio went dead. My cousin is sure that was a "sign" from her Mom telling her she was all right. My Aunt had told my cousin the night before she died, "remember me". Sent chills. I think signs come in many different ways. Sometimes subtle. Sometimes not. My lovely mother-in-law had a story after her mom died. Sitting on her couch on a quiet evening and feeling very sad. She was thinking about her mother who had passed, and was feeling so many low emotions. As she was thinking, she was just staring at an ashtray her mom had owned and suddenly it blew up. (Ok, maybe not huge explosion, but it broke into pieces right before her eyes.) If there is some doubters out there, I understand, but I do believe. Jane

Hi. My Dad has limited stage SCLC and has just completed five months of treatment - radiation, chemotherapy and now PCI. Visit the SCLC forum, it has supportive treatment and just what you are looking for. Sometimes I go to other places, if I think my question/comments would help others or are general in nature. This place is wonderful! Jane

Hi Addie and welcome. I'm SO glad your internist is moving on this one! When we learned my Dad had SCLC, we acted very quickly to get a second opinion, and were able to get an appointment in three days. The second opinion just helped confirm what my Dad had to do, but it was comforting all the same. People who know about this disease, knows that it moves fast. It was a whirlwind of tests and appointments, hardly given time to digest it all, but this is a very aggressive cancer and it doesn't wait for you. My Dad did it all - chemo, radiation, now PCI and is complete remission! Jane

My father was given radiation 1 week before he began his chemo, and continued for five weeks. Was it tough? Yes! His esophagus bothered him, he got weak and fatigued, and the brochospasm he had was because of the radiation. Would he do it again? Yes, because from what we understand the combined treatment of radiation and chemotherapy is the most successful treatment in battling this aggressive SCLC. It took a while to recover from being hit with all that, but now he is doing very well. Difficult five months. Blessings is what we have now. Jane

Awesome News. Really glad to hear it! Jane and Chick

Dad's day for beginning PCI is tomorrow. Does anyone know what the "fraction" in the PCI dosage means? I'm guessing, but could be TOTALLY off, could it be the portion of the brain that they radiate at a time? Bit nervous for dad, because of you all writing in about PCI, Dad is prepared with a prescription for Decadron (sp.) the steroid in case he gets a headache because of swelling. Thanks, Jane

Your family being with Alan will be a gift for him. I am so sorry for all this pain you are going through and for Alan. In my prayers... Jane

The Relay for Life is an Awesome community event. I began walking relay when my friend Cindy died of liver cancer. It was so close, and she was a Mom of three, our children were friends, and she lost her battle. I felt a need to do SOMETHING. I'm proud to have been a part of it ever since, but I didn't realize how much cancer would be in my life. My sister-in-law died of pancreatic cancer, my Mother in law of colon cancer, my Aunt of SCLC and now my Dad battling this vicious disease. Last year was our town's first year and we raised $165,000! I'm hoping to get Chick (my Dad) to walk the survivor lap! I am so touched by the luminaria display. I especially like the signs around the track that states cancer statistics. It can really hit home. I believe the ACS only takes 10%, which means that 90% go to research, etc. I'm hoping to put out information for lchelp at my silent auction/relay tables to spread the word. This forum has truly helped me and my father and I would love people to know about it. I can be a chatty person, I guess. I try to make my posts short, but I just go on and on.... Jane

PCI is such a tough decision. My Dad recently decided to go ahead with it after MUCH consideration. Actually, his doctor and the doctor we had a second opinion with both agreed. The doctor's recommendation weighed in heavily with Chick. He had decided against it from all the research, but changed his mind on the doctor's recommendation. I did read that some doctors were trying it with extensive stage so that they would avoid brain mets. If you need more reading material, I can help you with that. The largest study seems to have concluded in 1999 with 987 patients. http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/short/341/7/476 http://www.guideline.gov/summary/summar ... 9&nbr=2685 http://www.cancercare.on.ca/1175.htm

Kat, Here's hoping the opthamologist is right! I get the flashing light/aura no pain migrane. All I do is stop what I'm doing, lay down (maybe brew a cup of tea) and relax until it stops. Don't know what triggers it (though I've been told certain foods can) but I'm able to deal with it since I know it isn't a big deal. Hope the chemo goes well for you. Jane

Welcome. You've found a great place to be. I'm sorry your Mom has SCLC (my Dad also has it). You probably know at this point that SCLC reacts well to combined chemo and radiation. While it is a tough battle, I hope your Mom achieves remission as my dad did. With you being in Indiana and your Mom being in California, the distance can be frustrating. Your knowledge can help your siblings understand the disease. Does your Mom have a lot of support in California? Will you be able to be out there some time? The hardest thing about this happening in my life, is that you take on a different role. I REALLY like being a daughter.. Jane

My Dad "Chick" met with the Radiologist today to discuss PCI. Thanks to ALL OF YOU who helped me research this topic, Dad was VERY well prepared and asked EXCELLENT questions. Now Chick would like to know how his treatment compares to what the radiologist has said. His Doctor had told him he would receive 10-12 treatments, the Radiologist has said 20. He gives it in 36 gy and 1.8 fraction (though information I had given Dad recommended 30-36 gy with 2-3 fraction) The Radiologist says he does it a little at a time to minimize the side effects of headache, nausea, etc. He also said there is a possibility of permanent hair loss. What I think I should know the answer to, but don't is: What is the difference between Whole Brain Radiation and PCI? They do the whole brain, but is it a different kind of radiation? Thank you. Jane

Ray, I passed your spiritual story to my Dad, who is a religious man himself. It is amazing how the Lord can speak to us. Dad actually went outside, sat at the picnic table and looked up to the sky to reflect. All he saw was clouds, but felt comfort in that vision because of your story. Jane

What a wonderful testimonial and I'm so glad for your two year mark, and especially for the positive things that have happened to you during this journey. I was impressed to see your praise of God, joy in being a better person, and your ability to cope. Jane

I'm so sorry for your loss, Berisa. It is a beautiful song and a tribute to a the man so special and important in your life. There is no man special like a Dad. Jane