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mamasbabygirl

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Posts posted by mamasbabygirl

    Watching Oprah right now and had an AH-HA moment

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Oprah has a special on right now about death, grief, etc. Her first guest is the woman who wrote Crazy Sexy Cancer. She has cancer and says that cancer has forced her to live life to its fullest.

    She and Dr. Oz were discussing all of the thoughts that run in your head when you are diagnosed with cancer. Mainly, she said that questions swarmed her head that she sought to explain as to why this happened to her. She spent a lot of time trying to come up with the reasons, conditions, etc. that caused her cancer.

    I get soooo angry when people ask me if my mom smoked when I tell them that she died of LC. I always respond with "Why do you ask?" and it throws them off.

    My ah ha moment is that I am wondering if the people who ask this question are seeking to exclude themselves from the threat of LC. Maybe it is a self-protection mechanism more than a mean spirited "oh she deserved that" kind of question.

    What do you guys think?

    Trying to figure out how to cope

    in INTRODUCE YOURSELF!

    Posted

    For me, the ONLY way that I could cope in the beginning of my mom's diagnosis was to submerse myself into educating myself, my mom, and my family about lung cancer. By mom's 3rd visit, I had lists of questions for the Dr. that went a page long. I knew what trials and treatments were available and it gave my mom hope and assurance that no stone was unturned. She called me her advocate. Perhaps it was the only control I had over the disease.

    I am not sure if you are an in control type person, but it helped me in some ways.

    I guess the best advice that I have is to love your mom and love yourself through this time.

    please tell me when this gets easier...

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    I sure wish I had the answer to your question, bc I feel the same way. Grief has enveloped me these days and I miss my mama more than ever. Everything makes me think of her and I am no longer smiling, but I cry at the mere thought of her. I posted earlier this week about these feelings and many replied that THIS is the reality-it sucks. I hate it. I am stuck in the same place as you. I know that doesn't help, but I do understand and I am so very sorry :cry:

    delayed grief

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Thanks guys. I knew you'd all have something to share and I appreciate your caring words.

    I look back on year 1 and I can count on one hand the number of times that I cried. I actually felt really strong. I even went back to school finally!

    Since the 1 year mark, I have cried more than I have in years. I guess this is reality settling in. I'm an action taker and so I think I will use some of your ideas to see if it helps. These days, I cry at any thought of her and so the thought of a scrapbook seems daunting, but I will try. I am truly experiencing delayed grief because for her celebration of life, I put together picture boards and, relatively speaking, was fine.

    Grief, any way you are forced to feel it, hurts. It helps to know that you are still here for me. My love to each of you tonight...

    delayed grief

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    OK, so I have looked it up and it does exist, but I wonder why NOW I feel so helpless without my mama. I have been fine for the past year, but ever since September 18, I have hit a brick wall-I need her here, my life was so much better with her in it, I was a better mom with her here, she gave so much love to so many people. Yet, there are selfish non-loving people left in this world and it's just not fair. I miss her, I call her old number, I send her text messages, I even talk (aloud) to her-am I losing it? Some people around me know that I am a mess and a few have been supportive. Anyone know what's going on with me?

    mamasbabygirl

    in MEMBER UPDATES

    Posted

    I spoke to Bob yesterday and Karen is stable. I did find out that the radiation burns (from CK) to the brainstem are what is causing the problem, not just the vocal cords. When they tried to remove the vent, things went haywire, so back she went to the vent. If she stays stable, they will be moving her to a rehab unit to try to get her off of the vent.

    That's all I know, but Bob did say thank you all for the kind prayers. They are needed.

    Decadron Side Effects?

    in LC SURVIVORS

    Posted

    Connie mentioned the general side effects. Let me add a big emphasis on the emotional toll steroids can have. My mom experienced huge swings in her emotions. Another little known side effect of long-term use of steroids is diabetes.

    If anyone particular happens with the steroids, please feel free to ask and I can try to help.

    Good luch to you guys.

    Karen335

    in MEMBER UPDATES

    Posted

    Hi everyone. I just spoke with Bob, Karen's husband. Apparently Karen went through with the cyberknife treatment back in April, but has had many problems since then. The CK burned her vocal cords and she has been having a tough time swallowing. She has been hospitalized for over a month. She has a trach and ventilator and can communicate through writing a word or so. He sounded devastated and beat. He has his family with him in Southern Cali. She is at Riverside Community Hospital in Riverside, CA.

    He asked that I update you all and he asks for your prayers.

    I am praying...

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