cindi o'h Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 I was given the words along with a handhold from a doctor I had never seen before as I was awakened from my hospital bed...Lung Cancer. My heart sank. I froze. I said shi-youknowwhat many, many times over in my head, if not outloud. Shock. When did I come out of shock? Hard to say. I think it was a process. Did I like having lung cancer? Nope. Never did. Do I like having lung cancer now? Nope. Still don't. But, I have it and I am stuck with it and it is a part of who I am and part of my life and my experience. Am I grateful? You bet. Almost always. The days are not easy. But where was it ever written that this life would be easy? I still find joy in almost every day that I live. Someone else may not be able to find happiness in the same things that I do, but peace is there for me. I love to watch my cat sleep by the hour. Because I can. This is an activity that I would probably not have joined in B.C. (before cancer) But, it is something that I love to do now. He snores a little and twitches the tip of his tail for some unknown reason. Every now and then he makes these cute little snoring noises...this is when I really have to show some restraint from going over and kissing him. If I kiss him, then the magic of the moment will disappear. Back to cancer. It is here. It is what it is. It is a part of me. My feet have been a size 10 most of my life. I always thought it would be so nice to wear those cute little 6's or even some 7's. No. I got stuck with a ten. I get to wear comfortable shoes though. "Earth friendly" shoes. Today, for some unkown reason, I accept this lung cancer. Tomorrow, I might be fighting with it again. All I know today, is that it is a part of my journey. I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful for so much more than life. I am grateful for acceptance today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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