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Missing my husband


jean

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I lost my husband John, 53, on Sept. 30, 2004 after only 17 months of NSCLC Stage 4. I have not been posting much but only reading the posts. After reading all the posts from "sad day" I would also like to help somehow as you all have helped me by sharing your experiences of this horrendous experience. I too experience my grief in waves, some small some huge, and I let myself cry and cry and somehow it helps to relieve it. Each morning is the worst of the day as it is when I again realize that John is not here yet another day. But I do know that he still loves me so much. Just a week after his death I woke up in the middle of the and realized how much he loves me and somehow that helps. I know that we had something that a lot of people never have and I feel fortunate for that. We have 3 children, two in college and one here at home who is 14. She is so strong for me and I try to be that for her. She told me the other day that Dad wouldnt want us to be sad for Christmas and I know she is right but it is so very hard after 24 years of marriage. I do want to mention a site I came upon while reading AARP. The president of AARP recently lost her husband and recommended this site for grief: www.aarp.org/griefandloss Thank you everyone for sharing. Carolyn

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Carolyn,

I'm sure you are very proud of all your children, mostly your very young daughter. She sounds like a very smart young lady and I agree with her that your husband would not want you to be sad, but would understand that you are. I hope that the holidays will bring you peace and wonderful memories with your family.

God bless,

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Carolyn,

I have just seen your post and I feel so bad for you. I can truly say I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel as if I will never stop crying.

they tell me it gets better and lets hope it does. I am so glad you have your daughter with you, I am sure you comfort each other. I send my prayers for your peace.

Lots of love and Paddy.

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Jean,

I am so sorry for you and your precious daughter. I lost my husband after 33 years of marriage on Nov. 3, 04. He was only 54 years old. He was dxs Sept 15, 04, wirh nsclc to lung and liver. Never had a chance, the chemo treatments were not tolerated well at all. Last week of his life was spent in the hospital with a feeding tube and a ventilator, so we could not even speak, he was on such strong meds.

I know with your daughter, you will get through this. Our children are on their own now, though very good about coming by and calling. We recently moved a good way away from our old house, and I don't really know anyone here. I have siblings in the area that are very nice though. I don't work presently, but will try to get a job after Christmas.

I have been doing alot of reading, about heaven and how to survive after a death etc...... It did help some. I also got some meds to help me sleep, not strong, just enough.

For Christmas our sons and I are going to a mission and help to feed the hungry for a few hours.

it will be hard for you to start new Christmas traditions without your husband I know, but please try to do it for your daughter,I really feel for her also. My thoughts are with you both, God Bless , Joni

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Jean,

I am so sorry for you and your precious daughter. I lost my husband after 33 years of marriage on Nov. 3, 04. He was only 54 years old. He was dxs Sept 15, 04, wirh nsclc to lung and liver. Never had a chance, the chemo treatments were not tolerated well at all. Last week of his life was spent in the hospital with a feeding tube and a ventilator, so we could not even speak, he was on such strong meds.

I know with your daughter, you will get through this. Our children are on their own now, though very good about coming by and calling. We recently moved a good way away from our old house, and I don't really know anyone here. I have siblings in the area that are very nice though. I don't work presently, but will try to get a job after Christmas.

I have been doing alot of reading, about heaven and how to survive after a death etc...... It did help some. I also got some meds to help me sleep, not strong, just enough.

For Christmas our sons and I are going to a mission and help to feed the hungry for a few hours.

it will be hard for you to start new Christmas traditions without your husband I know, but please try to do it for your daughter,I really feel for her also. My thoughts are with you both, God Bless , Joni

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Jean,

I am so sorry for you and your precious daughter. I lost my husband after 33 years of marriage on Nov. 3, 04. He was only 54 years old. He was dxs Sept 15, 04, wirh nsclc to lung and liver. Never had a chance, the chemo treatments were not tolerated well at all. Last week of his life was spent in the hospital with a feeding tube and a ventilator, so we could not even speak, he was on such strong meds.

I know with your daughter, you will get through this. Our children are on their own now, though very good about coming by and calling. We recently moved a good way away from our old house, and I don't really know anyone here. I have siblings in the area that are very nice though. I don't work presently, but will try to get a job after Christmas.

I have been doing alot of reading, about heaven and how to survive after a death etc...... It did help some. I also got some meds to help me sleep, not strong, just enough.

For Christmas our sons and I are going to a mission and help to feed the hungry for a few hours.

it will be hard for you to start new Christmas traditions without your husband I know, but please try to do it for your daughter,I really feel for her also. My thoughts are with you both, God Bless , Joni

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Jean,

I am so sorry for you and your precious daughter. I lost my husband after 33 years of marriage on Nov. 3, 04. He was only 54 years old. He was dxs Sept 15, 04, wirh nsclc to lung and liver. Never had a chance, the chemo treatments were not tolerated well at all. Last week of his life was spent in the hospital with a feeding tube and a ventilator, so we could not even speak, he was on such strong meds.

I know with your daughter, you will get through this. Our children are on their own now, though very good about coming by and calling. We recently moved a good way away from our old house, and I don't really know anyone here. I have siblings in the area that are very nice though. I don't work presently, but will try to get a job after Christmas.

I have been doing alot of reading, about heaven and how to survive after a death etc...... It did help some. I also got some meds to help me sleep, not strong, just enough.

For Christmas our sons and I are going to a mission and help to feed the hungry for a few hours.

it will be hard for you to start new Christmas traditions without your husband I know, but please try to do it for your daughter,I really feel for her also. My thoughts are with you both, God Bless , Joni

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