niececola Posted December 6, 2004 Share Posted December 6, 2004 hi, I have been away for a while, always reading, but never really knowing what to say. But, I had a wonderful experience last week, so I thought I would share it with you all. I spent last week in London, was supposed to be there in September, but things happened, so I postponed my trip to last week. Very surreal, funny, using that word a lot these days. Very sad leaving NY because my mom was not around to call and give my flight details to or to talk about my trip. Once I arrived in London, was busy catching up with friends, but kept thinking my mom was home, waiting for me to return. It is amazing how the mind works. I did have a very nice week, but the minute I got on my return flight, the tears starting flowing, I was anxious and just wanted to stay for a few more days. But, reality came screeching back very quickly when I saw my Dad, and he is of course, still sad and lost. So, I am thankful for the break, but just wish I could disappear for a while, but that is pretty unrealistic and would only delay my healing. OK, so the wonderful experience was this. My mom's three-month anniversary was the 28th. That evening my friend awoke, suffering from a diabetic attack. He was fine, but we stayed up a while and then I remember the dream I had.... My mom and I were in Australia on holiday. I decided I wanted to stay longer and asked her if it was ok that I stayed for a couple of more weeks. She said fine and walked off. Next thing I know the weather turned violent, the sea was churning, the wind was picking up. I started to panic and worried that my mom would not be ok. I started to cry and out of nowhere, a man showed up. I told him I was worried my mom would not be ok without me, she needed me and I wanted to take care of her. He gave me this sweet, "all-knowing" smile, as if he understood because he had heard this concern so many times before. He called me into his "office", which was a glass room in the middle of the beach. I told him how worried I was and he told me there was no need to worry, my mom was fine, just look around. And when I did, the sun was shining gloriously, the birds were chirping and there were children playing and laughing. And then I knew, she was ok. I know she is with God, but I have been suffering terribly these past few weeks with guilt that she suffered emotionally in the end and I could not help her. I have thanked God over and over again for this wonderful sign. When I am sad, I am going try and remember how peaceful I felt when I knew she was ok. I know the day will come when I am better than I am today, but it will take time, but it will happen. Thanks for letting me share this story with you. Praying for us all. Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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