Amy P Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 EXCERTS FROM A DOG’S DIARY Day number 180 8:00 am-OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am-OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am-OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am-OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE 11:30 am-OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon-OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00pm-OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 4:00pm-OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00pm-OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30pm-OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE! Day number 181 8:00 am-OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am-OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am-OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am-OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE 11:30 am-OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon-OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00pm-OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 4:00pm-OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00pm-OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30pm-OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE! Day number 182 8:00 am-OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am-OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am-OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am-OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE 11:30 am-OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon-OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00pm-OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 1:30pm-ooooooo. bath. Bummer. 4:00pm-OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00pm-OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30pm-OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE! EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’S DIARY DAY 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. DAY 761- Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit in their favorite chair . . . must try this on bed. DAY 765- Decapitated a mouse and brought the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty I was . . . Hmmm. . . . . Not working according to plan. DAY 768- I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called “shampoo”. What sick demented minds would invent such a horrible liquid? It seems not possible. My only consolation piece is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth. DAY 771- There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the foul odor of the glass tube they call “beer”. More importantly I over heard that the reason due to my confinement was due to MY powers of “allergies”. Must learn what this is and how to use this to my advantage. DAY 774- I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placements in the metal rooms his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail p-m Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Being the owner of 2 dogs and 2 cats, I really enjoyed this one! Gail P-M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pecola Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Love it! SOOOO true! I printed it out for my 11 year old son. Thanks! Gina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 That was cute.I often wonder what really is going thru my dogs mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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