Jump to content

returning to reality...


Recommended Posts

It's been a week, today. Because we're tight on money, and because my employers rely on me (there are only two employees) I am returning to work tomorrow.

As you can see, it's almost midnight and I'm not in bed. I am full of anxiety and I just want to stay home or with my dad at his house and ... well I totally don't want to go back to reality. Reality without her. I don't know what that will mean for me and I'm pretty scared.

What was it like when you returned to work? Were you anxious to get back or anxious because you DIDN'T want to get back? how did you deal with what people said to you? Sometimes I just want to cry when people talk about her. I work in a very close-knit community where everybody knows everybody.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


I have not been in that situation, I had a couple of months before I went back to work because I was unemployed at the time.

I know it will be difficult but since everyone knows what has happened, I hope they are considerate to you and treat you with only kindness.

You are in my prayers.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Rose. I do wish you could have at least another week off, but we can't always control these things.

My husband died during my Christmas vacation break thus giving me at least two weeks home with my family.

Going back to work was a blessing for me. I had to concentrate on other things and it was good keeping my brain thinking about other things for part of the day.

The folks at my work all knew him also and keep on asking how I'm doing. I have decided to accept all their careing. When they talk about him I am reminded how much he was loved and appreciated. I know that these people are also greiving in their own way. Sometimes it's even harder for them to accept as they knew him in their own special ways. I simply thank them for asking.

I'm thinking of you and hope that you have a good day at work today.

Love, Cyndy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Be prepared to have difficulty concentrating....I had the attention span of a fruit fly for awhile...I still don't think I'm 100%. Grieving takes a lot of energy....it's nearly impossible to channel that somewhere else for very long.

Be prepared for different reactions that what you expect from co-workers. Some will surprise you in a good way and some not so good. If you are disappointed with someone, try to keep an open mind. A lot of people don't know what to say....and if it can happen to you, it can happen to them and that's too much for some people to think about.

Be prepared to be "out of the moment"....you will find your mind with your Mom or your Dad and most likely with tears in your eyes. If it's safe for you to do that, perhaps allow it. If not, 'schedule' the time to revisit the thought when you're safely back home.

My thoughts will be with you.....reality is different now and that takes some time to process!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Rosegarden.

This will be a tough day for you. I am hoping that you get through it with lots of courage to spare.

When you get home, you will be emotionally exhausted, I am sure. I am hoping that tomorrow will be easier for you.

I understand completely your hesitation and fears. I always had the same, myself. People were so kind and gentle with me. It is as if they had a sixth sense...

Please stay with us, now and we will get through this somehow.

Cindi o'h

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Rosegarden,

Long time no see ! Grief can make it hard to concentrate at work. We may find our minds drifting to think about all that has happened. It's normal, don't worry. Pay attention to how you are feeling and don't push yourself too hard. You should maybe tell your boss what's happening and if he could be understanding for the weeks to come...

Have a nice day.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm keeping you in my prayers today, Rosegarden. Going back to work can be really difficult. Please remember that the people around you will probably be a wee bit uncomfortable, as they won't know just what to say...or not say. Some people feel that if they bring up the topic they will make you sad. Others feel that they must say something to you out of concern. The people I worked with seemed to have the attitude that it was best not to bring it up and thought that would keep my mind off of Dennis. Nothing could have been further from the truth! I wanted to talk about Dennis. I guess this was my way of "keeping him alive." Just remember that talking to friends will help take some of the pain away. It helps to get some of your feelings off your chest. I have a dear friend that is a great listener. Sometimes I talk, sometimes I cry and sometimes I just scream. Either way, she just listens and offers a hug and keeps tissue on hand!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.