another newbie

[Guest colleen_33]

Hello everyone, my father was dx'd with non-small cell lung cancer in july of 2001. He has had laser abalaltion, chemo and radiation. none has proven successful in a cure, but has seemed to prolong his life, and with a good quality of life too. One month ago he had a PET scan and it was found that his cancer has spread to 6 different sites. He has started chemo again.My dad has always had a very positive out look about this whole ordeal, he would like to stick around longer but he says if it isnt to be he has had a good life and is happy to have had what he had. I have had many expereinces with lung cancer due to my past job as a nursing assistant and as a former social worker. The rest of my family has never had to see the horrible things that cancer does to the entire family. Im the one the entire family looks to for answers about dads condition, im also the one who spends the most time with my parents, going to doctors, listening to their fears and anxiety, i hope im not sounding like a martyr, im not complaining about my role in the family, i honestly wouldnt have it any other way and the others, especially my sister, help out as much as they can. My main problem that im having right now is that i know what is coming, i mean i have a pretty good idea what is in store and how this will play out. The rest of my family is completely in the dark about what is going to happen, They know that dad is going to die, but they have no clue as to how HARD it is to see, to watch, the depression and sheer hell of seeing someone you love hurt and suffer, they are only now getting the hint of how much of a rollercoaster cancer is! Dad is starting to spend more and more time in bed, having more and more pain. Mom is getting more and more anxious and depressed, and im feeling more and more helpless and alone. Im so afraid for all of us and just pray daily for the strength for all of us to deal with this stinking cancer! I have been reading the posts and have already felt so much better reading others posts and knowing there are others who KNOW and UNDERSTAND. Any advice you all could give me or encouragement would be so appreciated! Thanks for listening! Colleen[/b]

[Don Wood]

Colleen, welcome to the boards. There is much support and caring here. your father is a 2-year survivior and that is a milestone for a lung cancer patient. My prayers are with you and your family. Don

[Guest colleen_33]

Thank you don, you have no idea(or maybe you do? ) how much your post means to me. I am so grateful that i found this site today! This has been the lowest i have felt since dad was dx'd. My mom called me today and she was just so down and sounded so scared, my heart just breaks for her, she doesnt have a computer so i think i need to have her come to my home so she can come here and read all these wonderful posts, i honestly have had the first feelings of hopefulness that i have had in a long time after visiting this site today. Not so much hope for a cure for dad, but the hope that my family will get through this no matter the outcome. I read some of your other posts and am sorry to hear you and your wife are going through a tough time right now, you both shall be in my thoughts and prayers, again thanks to you all! my best, Colleen

[David P]

Hey Colleen.

I read your post with the feelings of you being my own daughter (I have two, 17 & 13) and am so proud of you and wish I were there to give you a big hug. I've seen chemo do wonderful, seemingly impossible things to multiple tumors right here on this message board. Don't count your dad out just yet. And if the senario you mention does play itself out, then you do have some time to prepare your family - get them involved. From what I've read, it sounds like medicating and controling pain for advanced cancer patients has become quite effective, and it also sounds like you could take some cues from your dad - he seems to be ready for anything,

and is happy with his life. Hope things work out for the best. Take care,

David P.

[rayroy]

I know what you mean about doing most things for your father despite having other siblings. this is hell, my dad is considered end stage and he is suffering. He can't breath well, has little appetite, has extreme pain at times, he can't walk right now, he has fear and anxiety, he feels pretty bad overall. He doesn't enjoy anything right now. This is pure hell. I hate seeing my dad like this. But we gotta do what we gotta do! Good luck and I hope your dad doesn't suffer as much as my dad.

[cathy]

Hi Coleen,

Welcome, I know what you mean. You know everyone is different. Dont make yourself crazy thinking about what might happen I understand you have seen a lot but that doesnt mean your dad wont be different. I havent seen alot but I have been reseaching and I too am scared but we cant live like that. Just take one day at a time.

[Remembering Dave]

Hello, Colleen, your parents and your family are lucky to have you there. Never give up hope. Keep the Faith and keep us informed. My prayers are with you and your family.

[norme]

GOODMORNING COLLEEN,

WELL, YOUR FATHER'S FRAME OF MIND IS THE SAME AND MY HUSBAND'S. WE TO HAVE BEEN THROUGH MANY FAMILY AND CLOSE FRIENDS LC, BUT STILL, ONE DOES NOT KNOW THEIR FUTURE, ONLY GOD KNOWS THAT. bOTH MY HUSBAND AND I HAD HIM GONE IN 11 MONTHS AND RIGHT NOW IS HIS 10TH MONTH AND HE IS SO MUCH BETTER.

I TO HAVE SEEN SUFFERING, BUT, I ALSO SAW NO PAIN IN THIS CANCER WITH OTHERS. MY HUSBAND RIGHT NOW TAKES NO MEDS EVEN THOUGH HE HAS PAIN IN HIS RIB CAGE WHERE THE CANCER PRESENT IS. PAIN MEDS MAKE HIM SHORT OF BREATH. THE OTHER DAY I ASKED HIM HOW HE WAS DOING IN THE PAIN DEPT AND HE SAID ONE JUST HAS TO LEARN TO CONTROL IT THEMSELF. HE GOES BACK TO THE RADIATION DR TOMORROW FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 6 WKS AND HE SURE LOOKS A LOT BETTER TODAY THEN HE DID 6 WKS AGO. I TRY NOT TO DWELL ON WHAT MIGHT BE FOR IT JUST ISN'T WORTH THE WORRY RIGHT NOW. I ONLY GO BY HOW HE IS TODAY AND SO FAR TODAY HE IS GETTING ALONG FINE. I DON'T EVER EXPECT HIM TO BE 100% THE MAN HE WAS BUT I WILL TAKE HIM WHATEVER WAY SO LONG AS THE CANCER ALLOWS HIM TO DEAL WITH IT. SHOULD IT GET HARD THEN WE WILL DEAL WITH THAT THEN. I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN DENIAL WITH THIS ILLNESS FOR I HAVE BEEN THROUGH IT FAR TO MANY TIMES BUT LETS YOU, ME AND YOUR MOM TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME FOR TODAY MAYBE ROUGH BUT TOMORROW MAY BE BETTER AND IF NOT TOMORROW, MAYBE THE NEXT AND IF NOT THAT THEN THE DAY AFTER.