paddy Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 Hello All, I haven't been posting for a while, as I have been having a tough time in coming to terms with things as they are now,especially missing David. My daughter suggested grief counseling and so to that end I walked into the hospital where my husband died, (that took some doing I can tell you,) but found only a volunteer who gave me a few phone numbers to call for "classes". As I was on my way home I stopped in at a book store and found something that has helped me more than grief counseling could I'm sure. It is a book called "Widow to Widow" by Genevieve Davis Ginsburg, MS. The author of this book could have taken the words from my mouth, she knew exactly how I felt and why I acted in certain ways. From her I learned that I am "NOT" going crazy! Please, please, those who are grieving and missing their husbands as I am, (especially Ginny and Margaret,) read this book , if you haven't already, it is a "gem". Lots of love to you all, Paddy PS Has anyone actually been to grief counseling "classes" and if so, what were they like and did they help you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBeth Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 Dear Paddy, My sincerest thoughts and prayers are with you. I have noticed fewer posts from you and wondered how you were doing. I now wish I had sent you a PM to say hello and let you know you were in my thoughts. Please take care and thank you for the advice on the book, I'm sure many will find comfort in it. Love to you, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 Anothee great book for widows is called "Getting to the Other Side of Grief" I don't remember the authors' names, but they are a couple, and they each lost their spouses after 20 or so years of marriage, and then met each other as they discussed this book, and ended up marrying each other. The coolest part about the book is that she is a psychologist and he is a minister. And so the first half of each chapter is written from the perspective of a therapist, and the second from a minister. And they weave together beautifully. It is specifically for widows and widowers. I am sure there would be things that are the same for children, parents, and siblings, but the target audience is the widows. Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 Paddy, Thanks so much for sharing that information, I read your post as I was literally getting ready to head to Barnes and Noble to find a book for mom as she is having a hard time. I have suggested grief counseling to her, but she adamately refuses.... I don't know why, but she will not hear of it. I am going to go buy her the book this morning.... I thank you so much for the great information. What a wonderful person you are to be thinking of others as you go through this most difficult time. Love, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 Thank you Paddy and Curtis both for suggestions. I wrote them both down, will check the library first. I would like to read some solid information like that. I am reading "Healing Grief" by James Van Praagh right now. It was the easiest to find at the library. It leans towards the psychic side of things. I don't know how true it is and I do find it lightweight but it makes me feel better. I am reading a couple of other Sci Fi books, just for something different, convoluted and involved. I haven't tried a grief group, I just really don't feel like driving into town to a meeting plus privacy plus I don't feel like I am out of normal bounds for the situation. I have found a widow forum on the net where I am mostly lurking, to see what it is about. Good to hear from all of you. Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 Widow - what a strange word. It is not a word I have much experience with. I guess I know widows but I don't think of them as that word. How strange to see it written next to my name on an application. Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babesdaughter Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 Margaret.....I just finished a twelve week "Grief Recovery" group class. It followed the "Grief Recovery Handbook".....I'm a very private person, but still found this class to be something that was very, very helpful. It helped me learn how to hang on to the memories and let go of some of the pain.....mind you, not the sadness.....I'm still very sad about my Mom's death....but the PAIN is better....if that makes sense. It was a good experience for me....although it's a 'group', for the more intimate details and working through things we were partnered up with just one other person, that made it easier. God bless you in your journey.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy Posted February 22, 2005 Author Share Posted February 22, 2005 Margaret, I feel exactlly the way you do about groups. I am nervous about driving, at night especially and having to share my private thoughts with strangers is not my thing, (except You Guys of course!) That is why I was so glad to find this book. Thanks Curtiss for the other suggestion. I will look for that one next. Sharyn, I do hope this book has helped your Mom, it sounds as if she is having a hard time of it. Beth , thank you for your good wishes. it was so nice of you to post a reply. This weekend has been a good one despite the pouring rain, thunderstorms and threats of tornados. Houses are sliding down hills and sink holes are appearing in roads. Honestly who would think this is California! Love Paddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 I couldn't face a group either. I was able to join an experimental support group for people who had lost our partners to cancer. It was much easier to post there than face others. What was nice about our group was that we had a moderator from the AMC and you say what you want. The others can read it and respond or not. I think at the time it was a life line for me but it only lasted 3 months and truthfully sometimes I wish we still had it. I think too it would be better if it were just for partners of those who had died of lung cancer. Still it worked out quite well and one lady and I still corespond. One book I read was about grieving and encourages you to believe that your loved on still exists. The authors name was Blackwell but I can't remember the name or the book or his first name. I wrote him a letter and he wrote back to me. He was very helpful. IF I get a chance to look for his letter or find his book I will let you know. I had gotten it from the library/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 Thanks for this post. I read many books after losing Dennis and founf them to be a great help. Reading was very hard for me at first, as I just couldn't seem to have the ability to focus on anything. After a couple of months, I was able to settle down and find comfort from reading books about the grief of losing a loved one. You know, I still have several books. Maybe we could list the books we have and share them with others on the board. We could pass them around. Wow...talk about a mobile library!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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