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summer..........


Patkid

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Thank you...... I've not had time for an update. We had to take my partner to the hospital on Monday. He was unable to move his legs and had increasing difficulty coordinating his hand movements. The pain became unbearable, shoulders, back, chest, abdomen, hips... he's hurting everywhere. An MRI found indication of something wrong with the meninges that covers the spinal cord. Doc suspects the spinal fluid has cancer cells. We looked at possible treatment options but none are possible in his condition, nor are they likely to have much effect considering the spread of the disease. He has decided to go with Hospice.

The past few days have been so sad. And a shock to us, as we've been fighting this beast with all we had and thought we were making headway. Within one week his condition totally changed, and every day I see him hurting more, and slipping away a little more.

Thanks for all the support you've extended to us. I do believe this disease will one day be overcome, or at least managed, like diabetes or hypertension. There is all kinds of new, innovative research out there, it's only a matter of time until an effective treatment is found. Love and prayers to all of you who fight the good fight.

Summer

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thanks for the prayers and for checking on me. My partner was moved to inpatient Hospice on 3/16. Treatment was not an option in his condition. Much as I wanted to bring him home, we would not be able to care for him as well as the staff at hospice, and I was urged to not cheat myself of quality time with him. The staff are doing a wonderful job in responding quickly by raising the rate of pain medicine when his pain increases. He is confused and disoriented most of the time and does not understand the situation. Nevertheless I've been able to have some very special time with him and spend most of my time there with him. There is a daybed in the room that I sleep on and I treasure the time I have with him.

Sometimes I second guess the decision we made - should I have pushed for treatment, even if it might not have been successful or could have killed him? Better to go quickly than to linger, in pain? Difficult to think about, and I try hard not to go there, but the thoughts come.... So I take things one day at a time, sometimes a minute at a time, and put my trust in God and the universe, that whatever happens, I will get through this.

I'm home this evening, glad to have the time to write, and read a little. I feel connected here, and writing gives me some comfort. I'm sending prayers to all of you here.

Karen - sorry to read about the struggles with the platelets, praying for you and Dave and those platelets!

And Brian and Pat - thanks for your prayers, and I'm sending mine for a quick recovery from Brian's 2nd chemo treatment. If it is making him sick, it's also hurting the cancer cells big time! Love to you.

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Thank you for posting. Brian asks about you and your partner everytime we log on.

Our prayers continue.

Try not to second guess yourself. You only can do what you can do and you are doing the most important stuff by loving and supporting and caring.

Sending support and concerns and prayer,

Brian and Pat

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Summer,

I just found this post. I am so sorry to hear about your partners decline. PLEASE,PLEASE try not to second guess yourself. And, I strongly urge you to ask any questions you may have... no matter how foolish they may seem. I am going through a tough time second guessing decisions I made about my Daddy, and it is not a fun road to walk down.... I think when we know the end is upon us, human nature takes over us with the "what if's, could if's" when deep in our hearts we know we did the very best we could have. I am praying for you both... May peace enter your lives.... Love, Sharon

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Hi Summer,

I am sending prayers to you and your loved one. This has to be the most difficult time in your life. Watching him decline like this. He is so lucky that you are by his side. When the time comes for his transistion, he will be free of all his pain. When that time comes, which I pray will be soon, just know that he will be rejoicing that he is now completely pain free and in a beautiful place.

His soul will move on and will always live in your heart with all the wonderful memories you both shared.

Sending you strength to carry on.

Maryanne

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