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It's none of my business but just a thought I had.

Everytime I have been involved in something like this I have had help from family. What about Chris's family? Will they be part of the celebration?

Christina, you are doing so well dealing with all that you are with such maturity. Let your heart be your guide. I think sooner then later is best to celebrate his life. Maybe you can be in charge of the one in your home in July, and the friends in charge of the one in Manhattan. These things are so personal and you know what Chris's wishes are. Pray for guidence in this and all things.

HUGS, Shelly

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I hope you can find someone to help you! You certainly have a large amount on your plate and shouldn't have to do all this by yourself. If I were in your shoes, I would have a small ceremony for family and close friends soon. My grandfather was cremated and we had a small ceremony in front of his plaque. It was a beautiful day outside and it was just close family members and it was short and simple. We did a family, friends, aquaintance thing separately Don't even think about the party yet...take it one step at a time. Once you have the small ceremony, then I would gather up a committee of people to help you plan the memorial party. I think you could have a memorial party anytime...2 months from now, 3 months, 5 months from now and it be completely appropriate since you did your small ceremony. I think it's a great idea to have a memorial party. You shouldn't have to plan around anyone elses schedule with the exception of close family members. You pick a date, if they are true friends, they will find a way to be there. Christina, you need to have your time to grieve. You take care of yourself and take it one day at a time.

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I totally understand about being over whelmed (sp?....lol) anyway, I felt the same way when mommy left. That's the way I say it. I don't know why... just seems, I don't know... not so final that way. (denial)

The only thing I could suggest is to just take a breath and stop... do you remember all of the things you had to do when he was sick? The doctor appt.'s the meds.... the nurses... blood work ... chemo...... You did that.... you can do this.

That's the only thing that got me through mommy's funeral.. I had been there from the begining and I damned sure wasn't going to let her down at the end. A funny thing.... talk about not being able to think...

When I made the arragements for mom, I went to the funeral home and did all of that. then I talked to a friend who owned a back-hoe to dig her grave.... about two days after the funeral... it dawned on me that I had to have her grave covered back up!!!! I forgot about that!!!! I totally freaked out and started calling around and asking people "did you cover up my mommy?" No one knew what I was talking about!!!

Funny how our mind just goes numb.

Take time for your self. You earned it.


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