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Missing Mom on the Wedding Day


kim

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Well, my sister got married (finally), on Sat. and I think we all handled missing Mom rather well. I did really good until I had to make a toast to the bride and groom and the minute I mentioned Mom I started crying. I didn't realize it still hurt so bad. It just kind of snuck up on me, and WHAM! But, I recovered my composure and finished my toast.(Guess I should have wrote it out, instead of winging it! :) ) I know she was there with us celebrating. I think she knew she could go when she did because she knew Matt was the right man for my sister. We had my brother light a candle in memory of Mom. It had a wonderful picture of Mom before she got sick on it. I'm sure, if mom could have her way, there would be a honeymoon baby! :D Who knows, she DOES have the quick connect with God now, maybe shes discussing... anyway, it was a beautiful wedding and eventhough she wasn't there in body, she was in spirit, and in all the hearts of those there. At times I was sad when I thought," She should have been here to see her baby get married!" But, I knew she was and that she would want us to be happy, and celebrate.

Some days are good and some not so good, I thought I was done grieveing, and moving on, but I guess I am moving on, but the grieving will always be there to some extent.

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I'm sure your Mom shared this happy day with her family. I think it was great that you "winged" the toast rather than writing it down. I have found that some of the sweetest, most sincere words come straight from the heart when you just let the words roll! I think it was so sweet that your Mom was included in so many ways at the wedding! I know this was a very tough day for your entire family but it sounds like a lovely wedding!!!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Kim,

I wanted to respond to your post because I can really empathize with you. My "baby" sister (9years younger than me) got married on June 26 and my father was not there to walk his "baby" down the aisle. He passed away in March 04 from lung cancer. I read a petition in church for him and we had a special tribute to him at the reception. I admired your post about how you feel your mom was there and wanted you all to be happy. Youre a good example for those of us who have a hard time being in that place.

I just had to reach out and let you know I understand how hard that day mustve been for all of you.

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You're right Linda, in was hard. But, you know in a way though it wasn't. I don't know how to explain what I mean. Mom's love for life and for her family was so greatly felt that day that it made it easy to celebrate; it was just not having her physical presence there that made it hard. Does this make since? It would have been nice to have had her there to fix Cindy's veil one last time, and to see her dance with her new son-in-law. But, I think the thing that I missed most was not getting to hear her tell Cindy how beautiful she was. It broke my heart for just a moment that she didn't get to hear those words from her mother's lips, but I think we all felt them in our hearts.

This tuff day is over, but the next with come with the birth of the next addition to our family. I know Cindy will be a great mom, but I wanted SO MUCH for mom to be there with her. So, I'll wait for that day to come and face it head on with the strength that my mother's love has given me, This too will pass as they say. Life goes on for all of us, even mom; just on a different, and much more promising plain.

Okay, time to end the book :) . I know I get windy, and I'm sorry about that, it just helps to vent. Here I can say what I feel and nobody thinks I'm totally crazy! :)

God bless everyone, and I pray for miracles for those who need them, and peace for those of us who are looking.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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