beckyg Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 I sent Curtis to Wal-Mart the other night for a home pregnancy test. I had missed a cycle and wanted to make sure before I started Iressa that it was because of the chemo and not because I was pregnant. He stood in the line to pay and the checkout girl said, "Oh, I hope congratulations are in order." He said it was hard for him not to lay into her about all the hard implications of either result of the test, and just said, "I hardly think that's appropriate." She said, "Oh, it's one of those." He was still mad when he got home. I know that girl never thought that the test was for someone struggling with cancer, but she also never thought that her opinion was probably not wanted on something so personal. I am glad to say that I am not pregnant because I don't want to worry about what my cancer treatments have already done to a baby and all ther other implications of being pregnant at the same time as having lung cancer that is not responding to anything yet. But I am scared that I won't have that option again one of these days when I finally get into remission. Katie was never intended to be an only child. Take care everyone. Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carolsdaughter Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Oh Becky, I am so sorry that that happened to you and your husband. I think that she was just trying to be friendly. Your husband was right though, something that personal should not be commented on at all. For many years I have worked in the retail business and I don't think that it is something they train on. Tact is something that we should learn everywhere we go. I pray that you may get the BEST results on Iressa! Hugs, Shelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Your husband would be doing the young lady at the check out counter a big favor if you will call the store manager and report her comment. I doubt she intended to be offensive, but tact is a learned behavior. Obviously she hasn't learned that particular lesson. Every WalMart I've been in has employee meetings before the beginning of each shift where management discusses things like customer service, etc. At my local store I've overheard some of these "meetings" and at this store they do address topics such as the one you have raised. Becky, did anyone discuss the possiblity of harvesting some of your eggs and storing them for you while you undergo chemotherapy? Please forgive me but I can't recall what treatments you have had so far, nor whether or not your docs have discussed fertility issues with you and your husband. I know that you are hoping for more children one day. I hope you are able to do so, but I don't know enough about it to be able to comment on it. If I find any information I will forward it on to you. Good luck with Iressa...I'm glad your breathing is a bit easier. Best Wishes, Fay A. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Cheryl- Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Becky, Sorry about the insensitive remark. People can say some pretty ignorant things. This one girl at work asked me "Is the cancer really bad?...Well, I hope you make it!" My response was "Yeah, me too." Well, what are you going to do? Most people have no experience with cancer, so I let it go. I just guess we will have to educate them, huh? I hope the Iressa works well for you! Keep us posted! Cheryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beckyg Posted July 31, 2003 Author Share Posted July 31, 2003 Fay--No doctor discussed harvesting eggs with me, but we did read up on it ourselves and decided that the expense and physical hardship of it wasn't worth it to us. Our plan all along had been to have two biological children and then to adopt one or maybe two. We made the decision that if the cancer treatment leaves me infertile, we will just skip to the adoption. So far none of the chemo drugs I have taken are on the list of drugs that "almost always" cause infertility. My doctors think that given my age, I will likely start normal cycles again within 6-8 months of ending chemo, but I will likely enter menopause younger than I otherwise would, so if I am going to have another child, I may not have much time to do so. Of course all this discussion is premised on me first getting to remission, and I am still determined to get there. One of these drugs has to work--I just wish we could find it. Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 I dont think the girl at walmart was trying to be anything more than friendly. If there were not special circumstances, the comments would have most likely been laughed about at the counter. It is definitely hard to take comments like this at a time like this and I am sorry that this happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remembering Dave Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 Hi, this is Karen, David C's wife. First of all, I know how that encounter at the Wal Mart must have made your husband feel. Going through the heartache of infertility and miscarriages, I had similiar types of encounters and let me tell you, no matter which side of the coin you're dealing with insofar as getting pregnant goes, people need to be extremely sensitive to these sort of comments, especially to strangers. It's just a darn sensitive area. The other thing I wanted to tell you is that after the years of trying to have a successful pregnancy and then adopting Faith from China, that going through the adoption was the most wonderful experience of our lives. She is such a miracle child. She is more of a miracle child than if one of my pregnancies had been succesful. I told Faith's pediatrician the other day that I didn't know why anyone would want a homemade baby when they could have one of these precious little miracles! In fact, I consider the six years of infertility treatments/miscarriages as just part of God's journey, the path to Faith, so to speak. Perhaps this is your path as well. So I encourage you to just not worry about your fertility, worry more about getting and keeping yourself healthy, and consider going straight to the adoption. Take care and hang in there, and tell your husband I completely understand how that experience must have made him feel! Karen C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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