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Goodbye To Grandma & hopefully my addiction...


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Last night we were told that grandma was not doing very good at all. We took our three children with us to say goodbye. She was in bed and we a took a few minutes to tell her thanks and that we loved her. She passed away about 5 hrs later. She was 92 and all she wanted was to be able to dance with grandpa again who has been gone for over 20yrs. I can just see them dancing like they are kids again. About a month ago she said that he would just have to wait for her and dance with an ugly girl until she was ready. I will really miss grandma's wit.

I am sorry to burden you I just needed to get my feelings out. I feel so fragile and weak in certain areas of my life right now. I am lonely but I have many friends. I want to run but I have no place to go. I have the feeling I want to crawl out of my skin. I am addicted to the computer and my family just looks at me and shakes their heads. I am escaping when I am here and nobody understands that. When I went to mom's grave for her birthday I went to the caretakers office and cried because the sod that they had put down never greened up. My dad is still seeing the VULTURE and she now knows how I feel about her. Now another funeral, grandmas.

I know that only I can make my self happy but right now I am stuck. It's a bad, sad, day.

I continue to pray for each and everyone of you and your loved ones. The people here are the Greatest, The Cream of the Crop! My we all be blessed in this journey that we share in one form or another.


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Dear Shelly,

You are never a burden. You are always there for support when others need it, so we are here for you. I think you cant stay away because you feel comfortable here. I think you want to help ease others pain because you know what it feels like and if you can help others it eases your pain somewhat. You dont have to be soo strong all the time either. It is all still so fresh for you. Maybe you haven't taken enough time to grieve, not that there is ever enough time. I wish you would take a little time for yourself get your mind off lc for a while...

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Your grandmother sure lead a long and hopefully nice life. She can now dance with grandpa.

Remember, your husband and children come first in your life. Without them, where would you be. Take the time now to really enjoy each and every one of them. Go to lunch, movies, bowling, whatever makes all of you happy. Stay off the computer for awhile and start to live life again. Not that I won't miss you but as i said. your family comes first and you must find joy with them again. Do not cry for grandma for don't we all wish we could live to be 92 in good health....she would not want any tears, for if i were a betting person, i would say she was ready to be with her dear husband again..

We will miss you but you do need your family now....so God bless you and yours and check in once in awhile. remember, family first......

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Dear Shelly-

Your grandmother sounds like she was a wonderful person and I know you will miss her dreadfully. You've had some very big holes open up in your life recently and it will be hard to overcome them for quite a while...grieving takes time.

I agree with Norme about your family coming first--what would your mom and grandmother want for you?? I also know what you mean about being addicted to the computer and the wonderful group of people on this Message Board. I finally had to force myself to not get on line until after dinner...I wasn't getting anything accomplished during the day time. But at first I really needed the constant camaraderie and support that I found here. Again...it is a time and circumstances issue. I feel you will separate as much as you need to when the time is right for you...just be open to the signals.

Thinking of you and sending hugs.

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Thanks you all are right.

Cathy, You can see clear to my soul. We must be kin sisters or something. I hope things have gotton better with your siblings. I sincerely wish you the best with your father.

Norme, Your name is the same as a pet name my husband calls me. I have always enjoyed your wisdom in which you reply to others. You are a very special women and Buddy is bleesed to have you as well. I do need my family.

Don, I have learned so much from you..... When ever I want to see into my fathers way of thinking I read your posts. You and Lucy have a beautifull love story, I hope to have one just like your when I grow up.

Shel, Oh my Gosh! We have shared alot. I Love You. Please don't ever lose your faith no matter what. Keep in touch my friend.

Tiny, I am actually happy for my grandma for she is dancing with grandpa. My mom does not have the same feeling for me. Her's was too short and too sudden. I am going to to as you suggested, limit my time here. Thanks for your support.

Tracy, Thanks for the PM's you sent me awhile ago. She was very blessed to have lived such a full life.

Thanks for EVERYTHING. I will continue in my prayers for all of you and I praying for a CURE. Feel free to email me with anything I need to know or if I can help any of you in anyway. I will stay close for a while and then check in occasionally. I wish you all my very Best.

Eternal Hugs, Shelly

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