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Two Years Ago....

Cellar Door

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Two years ago, my husband was living in another state with a woman he met online...

I had already filed for an order of protection over a year earlier and filed for divorce.

He called me the week of Thanksgiving, 16th month of our separation. We talked for 3 hours. He was sober... the crux of our marriage wars. Started talking about his coming back here.

Told him if we got along, fine.. if not, hey take your apartment back and I will go back to NY.. no hard feelings.

He agreed. He moved in last April, right after our divorce was final.

I was scared to let him back despite his sobriety and mental state were under control. He was the man I married again.

For some reason... during that time of negotiating a retry of our relationship.. my fears of him dissipated.

During that time we emailed about his return... first thing I sent him were these lyrics:

Barenaked Ladies Fans get ready

I think

it's getting to the point where I can be myself again.

It's getting to the point where we have almost made amends.

I think

its' the getting to the point that's the hardest part


If you call I will answer

and if you fall I will pick you up

and if you court this disaster I"ll point you home

I'll point you home

You think,

I only think about you when we're both in the same room

I 'm only here to witness the remains of love exhumed,

You think,

we're here to play a game of who loves more than who


You think,

It's only fair to do what's best for you and you alone

You think,

It's only fair to do the same thing for me when you'e not home

I think,

It's time to make this something that's more than only fair.


I warning you, don't ever do

those crazy messed up things you do.

If you ever do, I promise you

I'll be the first to crucify you

and it's time to prove that you came back here

to rebuild?


I sent the lyrics as they had helped me heal... but the song is exactly how it went with us...

I was blessed; he was Touched. We rocked.

Grateful for my Tom more every day.


aka Cellar Door

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and lastly,


My husband and I were separated for a period of time right before his diagnosis... he was bipolar and alcoholic. At this time two years ago, he had both under control. He wanted to save our marriage, the only one I had ever known.

Thanksgiving recalled the situation to mind.

We overcame mental illness, alcoholism, paranoia, his physical abuse.... and things were very good until...

Just recollecting the elation I had this time 2 years ago.

Nothing more.

All the best.

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Mrs TOB,

I saw this post earlier today and thought for sure a veteran member would have pointed out the relation your thoughts have to grieving over a lung cancer patient. I did a simple search and realized you just lost your husband to this beast a couple of months ago. Please accept my sincere condolences and please continue to post your thoughts as there are people here who care without a need for justification.

Once again, I'm so sorry for your loss.


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I knew you had lost your husband from lung cancer and for that I am very sorry. I was not aware of all the other issues you both dealt with in your life. :(:(

I guess we all have life issues and life histories and I'm glad he was able to over come them and that you two could work things out.

This is a difficult time of year. I hope you will remember all the good memories you both shared.

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It is so good to hear from you. I have worried so much about you, as I knew how absolutely devastated you were when you lost the love of your life. I also remember that his family wasn't being any comfort or help to you either and that only complicated the issue. Please keep in touch with us. Remember, there are many of us that are in the same place you're in. Some have been there more recently than others. Just remember that we're here to listen and understand what you're going through. Saying prayers for you!

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It was very apparent to me from your post...you were remembering..... thru all the bad and good..you had a man in your life you loved so much. And with his loss, you have memories which now are priceless. You went to hell and back with this man...and you don't regret anytime you have given him. You are an amazing woman....and a nurse...and us nurses care and nuture. I wish you peace and comfort. For you have provided that for your dear husband. You knew his soul and heart. You loved him from within. God will only bless someone like you. Please keep in touch. You have amazing insight into people. God bless, Nancy C

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