Cellar Door Posted November 20, 2005 Share Posted November 20, 2005 Two years ago, my husband was living in another state with a woman he met online... I had already filed for an order of protection over a year earlier and filed for divorce. He called me the week of Thanksgiving, 16th month of our separation. We talked for 3 hours. He was sober... the crux of our marriage wars. Started talking about his coming back here. Told him if we got along, fine.. if not, hey take your apartment back and I will go back to NY.. no hard feelings. He agreed. He moved in last April, right after our divorce was final. I was scared to let him back despite his sobriety and mental state were under control. He was the man I married again. For some reason... during that time of negotiating a retry of our relationship.. my fears of him dissipated. During that time we emailed about his return... first thing I sent him were these lyrics: Barenaked Ladies Fans get ready I think it's getting to the point where I can be myself again. It's getting to the point where we have almost made amends. I think its' the getting to the point that's the hardest part Chorus: If you call I will answer and if you fall I will pick you up and if you court this disaster I"ll point you home I'll point you home You think, I only think about you when we're both in the same room I 'm only here to witness the remains of love exhumed, You think, we're here to play a game of who loves more than who (Chorus) You think, It's only fair to do what's best for you and you alone You think, It's only fair to do the same thing for me when you'e not home I think, It's time to make this something that's more than only fair. (Chorus) I warning you, don't ever do those crazy messed up things you do. If you ever do, I promise you I'll be the first to crucify you and it's time to prove that you came back here to rebuild? Rebuild.. I sent the lyrics as they had helped me heal... but the song is exactly how it went with us... I was blessed; he was Touched. We rocked. Grateful for my Tom more every day. mrsTOB aka Cellar Door Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted November 20, 2005 Share Posted November 20, 2005 Sorry but I'm not sure what this has to do with losing a loved one to lung cancer?!?!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cellar Door Posted November 20, 2005 Author Share Posted November 20, 2005 http://lchelp.org/community/viewtopic.php?t=16720 http://lchelp.org/community/viewtopic.php?t=17528 http://lchelp.org/community/viewtopic.php?t=17673 http://lchelp.org/community/viewtopic.php?t=17856 and lastly, http://lchelp.org/community/viewtopic.php?t=17887 My husband and I were separated for a period of time right before his diagnosis... he was bipolar and alcoholic. At this time two years ago, he had both under control. He wanted to save our marriage, the only one I had ever known. Thanksgiving recalled the situation to mind. We overcame mental illness, alcoholism, paranoia, his physical abuse.... and things were very good until... Just recollecting the elation I had this time 2 years ago. Nothing more. All the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheri Posted November 20, 2005 Share Posted November 20, 2005 Mrs TOB, I saw this post earlier today and thought for sure a veteran member would have pointed out the relation your thoughts have to grieving over a lung cancer patient. I did a simple search and realized you just lost your husband to this beast a couple of months ago. Please accept my sincere condolences and please continue to post your thoughts as there are people here who care without a need for justification. Once again, I'm so sorry for your loss. Sheri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 Sorry this time of year brings back these memories... in a way though, memories are good aren't they, they let us remember where we were, and how far we have come.... Heres wishing you peace... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 I knew you had lost your husband from lung cancer and for that I am very sorry. I was not aware of all the other issues you both dealt with in your life. I guess we all have life issues and life histories and I'm glad he was able to over come them and that you two could work things out. This is a difficult time of year. I hope you will remember all the good memories you both shared. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 I am so glad you posted! Hold these memories forever! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 It's amazing how quickly and radically things change, isn't it? ((((hugs)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 It is so good to hear from you. I have worried so much about you, as I knew how absolutely devastated you were when you lost the love of your life. I also remember that his family wasn't being any comfort or help to you either and that only complicated the issue. Please keep in touch with us. Remember, there are many of us that are in the same place you're in. Some have been there more recently than others. Just remember that we're here to listen and understand what you're going through. Saying prayers for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flwrjunke Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 Dear Cellar, I too am glad that you posted. I have been wondering how you are doing. You both over came so much, then to lose him in the end just doesn't seem right. Just know you are in my prayers. Patty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancy c Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 It was very apparent to me from your post...you were remembering..... thru all the bad and good..you had a man in your life you loved so much. And with his loss, you have memories which now are priceless. You went to hell and back with this man...and you don't regret anytime you have given him. You are an amazing woman....and a nurse...and us nurses care and nuture. I wish you peace and comfort. For you have provided that for your dear husband. You knew his soul and heart. You loved him from within. God will only bless someone like you. Please keep in touch. You have amazing insight into people. God bless, Nancy C Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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