J.C. Posted December 4, 2005 Share Posted December 4, 2005 The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteer for early retirement a bonus of $1,000.00 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officers got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.00. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.00. The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, ''From the tip of my penis to my testicles.'' It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to reconsider, explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurements was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the Captain to ''Drop em.'' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Captain's penis and began to work back. ''My God!'' he suddenly exclaimed ''Where are your testicles?'' The Captain calmly replied....''In Vietman.'' J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted December 4, 2005 Share Posted December 4, 2005 Jackie,I just knew you would be loading up on lots of good jokes while you were in the hospital. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted December 4, 2005 Author Share Posted December 4, 2005 Frank, That why they always throw me out before they finish the tests. Used many of your jokes.........all the best. J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted December 4, 2005 Share Posted December 4, 2005 still laughing over here, Jackie. good one!!! Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted December 4, 2005 Share Posted December 4, 2005 Jackie, I love it when you don't know what the punch line is and you got me here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted December 5, 2005 Author Share Posted December 5, 2005 Ginny, If I remember right you like Sue Grafton did you find the R book, you were up to that one in her books quite a while back. The title would make ordering easier. I want to read it over the holidays if possible. Thank you Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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