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U.S. Navy retirement


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The Navy found they had too many officers and decided

to offer early retirement bonus.

They promised any officer who volunteer for early

retirement a bonus of $1,000.00 for every inch

measured in a straight line between any two points

in his body.

The officers got to choose what those two points

would be.

The first officer who accepted, asked that he be

measured from the top of his head to the tip of

his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked

out with a bonus of $72,000.00.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter

and asked to be measured from the tip of his

outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with


The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied,

''From the tip of my penis to my testicles.''

It was suggested by the pension man that he may want

to reconsider, explaining about the nice checks the

previous two officers had received.

But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go

along with him, providing the measurements was

taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the

Captain to ''Drop em.'' which he did.

The medical officer placed the tape measure on the

tip of the Captain's penis and began to work back.

''My God!'' he suddenly exclaimed ''Where are your


The Captain calmly replied....''In Vietman.''


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